More than likely, most everyone standing for marriage restoration has heard more than once that if their spouse doesn’t want to “work” on the marriage, there isn’t anything they can do about it…because “it takes two.” But based on the Bible, we know that’s NOT true, because it just takes one.

When Abraham asked Sara to hide the fact that she was his wife and allowed her to be taken into the king’s palace, it isn’t too difficult to imagine the pain and anguish she experienced. She must have felt a terrible sense of betrayal, fear, shame and humiliation, anger and despair because the man who was supposed to protect her was so shamelessly willing to sacrifice her to save his own hide. BUT GOD had another plan, and it just took one; one woman submitting to her husband’s authority in faith and obedience to God! And despite Abraham’s failure to cherish and protect his wife, which was wrong in the eyes of God, Sara’s faith and obedience caused him to be blessed and enriched by the king when she was returned unharmed and fully vindicated! Sara humbled herself under the mighty hand of God and HE lifted her up in due time. So it just took one relying on the power and promise of God’s Word to bring about total deliverance and the prosperity that followed! Read Genesis 20.

When Gomer continued to indulge in adulterous behavior, presented Hosea with illegitimate children during their marriage, and eventually abandoned him and the children to openly pursue a sinful and rebellious lifestyle, the shame and humiliation must have been almost unbearable for Hosea, especially since he had only married a prostitute because God told him to. There must have been times when he questioned God’s plan and why He had asked him to do that when it all turned out so badly. BUT GOD had another plan, and it just took one; one man choosing to care for and protect his dishonorable wife in faith and obedience to God. Even though she had brought such shame to her family and was reduced to being sold on an auction block, through her husband’s reverence for God and willingness to show love though not loved, Gomer was reinstated to a place of respect and honor as his wife. Hosea was faithful to the covenant of his marriage despite his wife’s unfaithfulness, and God upheld it in due time. So it just took one relying on the power and promise of God’s Word to bring about marriage restoration and a lost spouse’s reconciliation with God. Read Hosea 1-3

When a rebellious and ungrateful son asked his father for his inheritance, in effect saying that he wished his father was dead, and departed to places unknown to squander it away on ungodly living; there’s no doubt that his father was heartbroken and terribly disappointed. There must have been times when he wondered what he had done to make his son despise him so much. BUT GOD had another plan, and it just took one; one man devoted to prayer, being watchful and giving thanks in faith and obedience to God. Despite his very immoral and irresponsible lifestyle and the loss of his entire inheritance, when the prodigal son came to his senses and realized he would be better off at home, he was welcomed home with open arms and his return was celebrated with jubilation! The father put his trust in God and let his son depart, and God brought him home in due time. So it just took one relying on the power and promise of God’s Word to bring a time of great loss and intense mourning to a time of incredible joy and celebration! Red Luke 15:11-32

When God invited Satan to test Job and allowed him to kill and destroy his children and everything he owned, and then to cover his entire body with worms and painful sores; when his wife and friends mocked and ridiculed him, offering no comfort or encouragement at all, it’s difficult to imagine the depth of his devastation and despair. Job understandably wondered what he had done to deserve such loss, pain and humility, and he felt totally abandoned and forsaken by God, and wished that he had never been born or that the Lord would put an end to the futility and misery of his life. BUT GOD had another plan, and it just took one; one man to hear His voice in the midst of the storm and respond in faith and obedience to God. Even though Job’s wife lost faith and told him to curse God and die; despite how bad the circumstances were, he told her she was talking like a foolish woman, and because of Job’s walk and relationship with God and his prayers for his friends in the midst of his own trials, God blessed both of them with ten more children and twice everything else they had lost! So Job refused to curse God and continued to worship and praise Him no matter what, and God vindicated, blessed and rewarded him in due time. So it just took one relying on the power and promise of God’s Word to bring an end to unbearable suffering and work all that the devil intended for harm and destruction to good and for God’s glory! Read Job 1-42.

So no matter what we face as we stand on the power and promise of God’s Word for the full and complete restoration of our marriages and families, let’s NEVER forget that IT JUST TAKES ONE, and we’re sure to be blessed and encouraged!

The ONLY way to come close to fully and accurately understanding God’s command that husband’s love their wives just as Christ loves the church is to study the Bible in search of other passages to support and further enlighten us since NO part of the Bible can ever be accurately interpreted to mean something contrary to anything written elsewhere in the Bible. And when we study to better understand the biblical relationship and roles of husbands and wives, we are told exactly HOW and WHY husbands are the head of their wives in 1 Corinthians 11:1-12, which says:
1 Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.
2 I praise you for remembering me in everything and for holding to the teachings, just as I passed them on to you.
3 Now I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.
4 Every man who prays or prophesies with his head covered dishonors his head.
5 And every woman who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head—it is just as though her head were shaved.
6 If a woman does not cover her head, she should have her hair cut off; and if it is a disgrace for a woman to have her hair cut or shaved off, she should cover her head.
7 A man ought not to cover his head, since he is the image and glory of God; but the woman is the glory of man.
8 For man did not come from woman, but woman from man;
9 neither was man created for woman, but woman for man.
10 For this reason, and because of the angels, the woman ought to have a sign of authority on her head.
11 In the Lord, however, woman is not independent of man, nor is man independent of woman.
12 For as woman came from man, so also man is born of woman. But everything comes from God.

Since most of the above passage should speak for itself, I want to focus on the verses I’ve highlighted; which are two of the most significant and enlightening verses of this passage; yet the ones most people probably tend to miss and fail to understand. But we can’t possibly understand what God is saying when we totally miss or disregard why He said it, especially when this passage of scripture makes it abundantly clear that the purpose of placing a man in “authority over his wife is for HER PROTECTION AND BENEFIT and NOT to exercise control over her.

For instance, when a woman is married, knowledge of that should protect her from the advances of other men. That’s why Abraham wanted Sara to deny being his wife; he feared being killed so that another man could take her as his wife or for less honorable intentions as happened. But that’s another story altogether; though one that demonstrates God’s supernatural power at work to protect and save a wife when she submits to her husband; not to mention saving her husband from his own folly (Genesis 20). And since it was God’s intention for women to be pleasing to men; being in fact, “created for man” (Genesis 2), it is natural for men to want and desire to possess what God created for their glory (in the same way we are created for HIS glory and the glory of Christ); thus one reason a woman needs the protective covering of her husband’s authority.

But God also provided a woman with the protective covering of her husband’s authority to shield and protect her from the advances of angelic beings, which Adam clearly failed to do when Eve was deceived and tempted by the serpent, who was the fallen angel, Lucifer, also known as Satan (Genesis 3). We tend to think of angels only in their glorified state as those mighty angels doing the Lord’s bidding; but there is another realm of angelic beings who were cast out of heaven right along with Lucifer. And they’re all supernatural and demonic beings who are much more powerful than human beings, which is why man needs the protective covering of Christ’s authority and women the additional protective covering of their husbands’ authority. So just as we are told of the Lord in Psalm 91:4; it ought to be said of a woman’s husband that He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.

Everyone who knows how excited I get about God’s faithfulness to confirm what He wants to convey to us can imagine how I felt when He prompted me to visit Sam Soleyn’s website (which I hadn’t visited in almost two years) and I found the following messages. I couldn’t believe it when the first message I listened to was on the same passage of scripture I was using in this post! So I strongly encourage everyone to listen to the following messages, because they really explain why women need the covering of their husbands’ authority; just as man needs the covering of Christ and why Christ needed the covering of God, and many other aspects of the roles of men and women in marriage.
God - Our Defender and Protector
The Reminder of God’s Provision

Once we realize that a husband’s authority and position of headship is for the PROTECTION AND BENEFIT of his wife, it’s much easier to recognize and understand Adam’s failure and accountability when Eve was deceived by Satan and why her sin was attributed to him. But let’s not forget that they BOTH suffered the consequences of sin. And even though most men probably struggle with the notion of being held accountable for their wives” sin and wrong doing, we’re already familiar with another example of that found in Matthew 5:32, where Jesus said But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery. Obviously, Jesus holds the man who divorces his wife even though she hasn’t been unfaithful accountable for causing HER to become an adulteress, and being held accountable when our actions, or when exercising the freedom WE have in Christ, causes a weaker person to sin is spelled out in even more detail in 1 Corinthians 8 (AMP), where verses 11-12 say And so by your enlightenment (your knowledge of spiritual things), this weak man is ruined (is lost and perishes)–the brother for whom Christ (the Messiah) died! And when you sin against your brethren in this way, wounding and damaging their weak conscience, you sin against Christ. So husbands being held accountable for their wives’ wrong doing and sin is not really as surprising as it might first seem. And in 2 Corinthians 11:2-3 (NLT), Paul sets an example for husbands to follow as he expresses the attitude and concern husbands should have concerning their wives’ walk and relationship with the Lord; he said For I am jealous for you with the jealousy of God himself. I promised you as a pure bride to one husband—Christ. But I fear that somehow your pure and undivided devotion to Christ will be corrupted, just as Eve was deceived by the cunning ways of the serpent. So just as Paul was charged and burdened with the responsibility to present the church as a bride to Christ; the same is expected of husbands concerning their wives, as confirmed in Ephesians 5:25-27, which says Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. And since we know that the marriage relationship is a representation of the relationship between Jesus and the church, His bride, which Ephesians 5:32 even declares a “profound mystery”, we have to conclude that just as Jesus did for the bride He so loved, husbands bear the sins of their wives. But that’s not really so difficult to comprehend when we accept and fully understand that husbands and wives are truly one in flesh and spirit (Malachi 2:15), and that in the same way an unsaved spouse is “sanctified” by marriage to a saved spouse (1 Corinthians 7:14), even a righteous husband can be made sin for his wife just as Jesus was made sin for us; God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. (2 Corinthians 5:21)

So the ONLY way to possibly understand this mystery is to consider it through the filter of understanding and by acknowledging that a husband’s biblical role in marriage is meant to replicate and portray the love of Jesus christ and His role and relationship with us as our Savior. Therefore, as Christian husbands standing for marriage restoration, it is vitally important to understand that God created and intended marriage to replicate and portray His love and everlasting faithfulness to us, because that’s the only way to truly grasp how to deal with every issue now threatening to destroy your marriage and family and reveal the glory of the Lord as HE brings about the full and complete restoration of your marriage. And while there are SO many passages of scripture in the Bible that powerfully illustrate how God uses marriage as a representation and illustration of His relationship with us, including the book of Hosea, Jeremiah 3 is one that is often overlooked. Yet it provides such wonderful insight and instruction for how husbands should unconditionally love even their adulterous wives, along with a reminder that our own disobedience and unfaithfulness to God is no less sinful and defiling than the sin of adultery. And for those men standing for marriage restoration who mistakenly believe that other than relying on the supernatural power of prayer, fasting, praise, humility and DEMONSTRATING UNCONDITIONAL LOVE to your wives, there is ANYTHING YOU CAN DO to change or restore deceived, rebellious, disobedient or adulterous wives, please read Hosea 2 (NLT) and realize that it is God and God alone who can and will do the work of correction and restoration in your wife’s heart and circumstances and that others are watching and will be influenced by your willingness (or lack thereof) to trust and obey the Lord. So learn to love your wives as Christ loves the church, and allow God to do the work of restoration He wants to do in you, and then you can rest in the assurance that HE will do the same in the hearts, minds, spirits and circumstances of your wives. May the Lord be lifted up and glorified in all of your marriages and lives today and forever, as you grow in understanding, wisdom and capacity to love your wives as God loves us!

Since the Biblical role of husbands as “head” of their wives and households is often misunderstood and not well taught in many churches, resulting in exactly what is happening in so many marriages today; it is important to learn what the Bible actually teaches about a husband’s “role” and HOW to be the husbands men are called by God to be. And since these are issues that men standing for marriage restoration often struggle with, it’s important to delve into what the Word teaches in depth, because if we all keep our focus on what God wants to teach US and what He wants to do in OUR hearts and lives, He will take care of everything else. That’s what true humility is as we stand for the restoration of our marriages, because we must be willing to LEARN AND DO what the Word teaches if we want and expect to get God’s results.

By reading and thoughtfully considering 1 Peter 3:7-18, it’s clear that God expects husbands to recognize their wives as weaker vessels and to live with them in consideration of that; yet to treat them as EQUAL PARTNERS and JOINT HEIRS in terms of our relationship and inheritance in Christ. And we’re ALL called to PURSUE peace instead of taking offense or retaliating when mistreated by our spouses; when we submit to God, HE makes all of the wrongs right.

Since Ephesians 5:20-21 (AMP) says At all times and for everything giving thanks in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to God the Father. Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One)., the Bible can’t truly mean that men are to control and rule over their wives without GENUINE CONSIDERATION AND TRUE UNDERSTANDING of them and their needs; just as Christ always does for us. So every time we read what the Lord has done and does for us, that’s what the Bible instructs husbands to do for their wives. And when men learn to be to their wives what Jesus is to all of us, AND TO LOVE AS JESUS LOVES, they WILL have the wives and marriages of their hearts’ desire! And studying Ephesians 5:23-32 (AMP) really illustrates how God intended for that to work and why it’s so important as follows:
23 For the husband is head of the wife as Christ is the Head of the church, Himself the Savior of [His] body.
So contrary to what most men seem to think (and what many churches teach), husbands are the heads of their wives IN A SACRIFICIAL ROLE and NOT as rulers or “lords” because Jesus became our SAVIOR when HE died for the remission of our sins on the cross. And when we read the account of how sin entered into the world, it’s very important and enlightening to understand that even though Eve was the one who was deceived and sinned, the sin was attributed to Adam (Genesis 3, 1 Timothy 2:13-14, Romans 5:11-13). So in the same way that our sin was accounted to Christ, who bore the penalty and shed HIS blood for it on the cross (even though HE was sinless); it appears that husbands are in fact held accountable for their wives’ sin. That should certainly give husbands a totally different perspective of God’s point of view concerning the sin of their wives, and certainly illustrates the need for demonstrating even more grace, mercy, forgiveness and much less judgment and condemnation; all of which God’s Word repeatedly declares will be given to us in the same way we give to others.

24 As the church is subject to Christ, so let wives also be subject in everything to their husbands.
How unfortunate it is that this is usually interpreted to mean that men are to rule over their wives and exercise control over them; yet that is not the relationship any of us have with Jesus Christ. We submit to Christ because of His amazing love, grace and mercy, which He so generously and consistently pours out on us. And even as Jesus Himself states repeatedly throughout the books of John; we gladly and willingly obey Him BECAUSE we love Him; and NOT because He enforces His will and way upon us. And He doesn’t get angry when we do disobey Him and don’t trust or believe in Him; instead He is grieved and weeps because He knows the consequences brought into our lives when we don’t obey God! What a difference it would make in so many marriages and relationships if husbands reacted with genuine compassion and sorrow instead of anger, self-righteousness and condemnation when their wives fall short of the glory of God. And it certainly is easier for women to submit to their husbands in obedience to God when they feel loved!

25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her, 26 So that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the Word, 27 That He might present the church to Himself in glorious splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such things [that she might be holy and faultless].
WOW! That’s powerful! Again, we see the husband’s role as one of great sacrifice, because he gives HIMSELF up for his wife; just as Christ did for all of us. So, JUST AS we are through CHRIST, a wife is sanctified through her husband’s righteousness and she is then found “in glorious splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such things [that she might be holy and faultless].” Obviously, none of us are “without spot or wrinkle or any such things [that we might be holy and faultless].” Yet, because of the love of God and the sacrifice Jesus made for us, that IS HOW GOD SEES US! And as difficult as this might be to understand and comprehend, it is actually confirmed in 1 Corinthians 7:14 (AMP), which says For the unbelieving husband is set apart (separated, withdrawn from heathen contamination, and affiliated with the Christian people) by union with his consecrated (set-apart) wife, and the unbelieving wife is set apart and separated through union with her consecrated husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean (unblessed heathen, outside the Christian covenant), but as it is they are prepared for God [pure and clean]. As I contemplated what it means to “cleansed her by the washing of water with the Word”, I knew it couldn’t mean condemning, preaching and pointing out her sins; that would be so contrary to everything else the Bible teaches. But if a husband walks in the power and promise of the Word, demonstrating UNCONDITIONAL AND SACRIFICIAL Love, thereby humbling HIMSELF under the mighty hand of God, GOD WILL lift him up in due time (1 peter 5:5-6) and CLEANSE HIS WIFE; supernaturally doing whatever it takes to change her heart and life and bring her into right relationship with Him and with her husband. So husbands serious about “washing their wives with the Word” must stop focusing on every fault and shortcoming and start practicing what the Word teaches about HOW to LOVE AS CHRIST LOVES (1 Corinthians 13:4-8, Proverbs 10:12, Proverbs 17:9, 1 Peter 4:8)!

28 Even so husbands should love their wives as [being in a sense] their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself. 29 For no man ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and carefully protects and cherishes it, as Christ does the church, 30Because we are members (parts) of His body.
So in addition to learning to LOVE AS CHRIST LOVES, husbands are instructed to nourish and carefully protect and cherish their wives, as Christ does the church. But many wives feel far from nourished, carefully protected and cherished, and that’s because their husbands do not love them as their own bodies; much less as Christ loves THEM. When husbands are verbally, emotionally or physically abusive, critical, inattentive and self-righteous, their wives feel far from protected, nurtured and cherished and they withdraw and become distant, and easy prey for someone else who appears to cherish and appreciate them. These are very important instructions for Husbands, because when women truly feel safe and secure (and that PARTICULARLY includes emotionally secure), well cared for and cherished, they will happily submit to their husbands; just as we happily submit to the Lord!

31 For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.
And this is a REAL important instruction as well, because husbands can not have divided loyalties between their wives and their other family members; a man’s wife should ALWAYS be his first priority next to his walk and relationship with the Lord. And when conflict arises, he MUST support his wife. The amazing thing is that when she feels confident and secure in her husband’s love and support, a wife will often change her position on the very issues that caused the conflict in the first place; again demonstrating how the supernatural power of God works when we humble ourselves under His mighty hand by honoring His Word and DOING what it teaches!

32 This mystery is very great, but I speak concerning [the relation of] Christ and the church.
To truly understand a husband’s role in marriage, it’s so important to always relate the marriage relationship to the relationship Jesus has with us as His church; His bride! And when husbands standing for marriage restoration pattern their attitudes and interaction with their wives after the example set by Jesus, He will indeed be glorified because their marriages will be fully and completely restored!

So, husbands, as you strive to be the husband God calls you to be, seriously study the Word to learn and better understand His character and nature and just how He loves and blesses you, and then you will know how He wants you to love and bless your wives. And when you learn to love your wives as Christ loves the church, you will most definitely be blessed and encouraged, because your wives’ hearts will turn back to you and you will experience the miracle of restoration that only God makes possible!

Note from Linda: The following was posted on the private website in response to yesterday’s Seeds Of Faith Post, and since it’s another important message for everyone standing for marriage resttoration, I appreciate the FAM member’s permission to share her testimony here. The truth is that we often sacrifice our happiness for the sake of being proven right; never realizing just how high a price we will pay. So I hope and pray that everyone will read and understand the importance of this testimony and be blessed and encouraged.

*****
I just read Lisa’s post, and I can really relate to having to be right all of the time. Linda has asked me to share a part of my testimony with you all, so here it is.

Several years ago, my husband and I had family, including my parents, and friends over for July 4th. SNO (spouse name omitted) and I lived away from our family for the first eight years of our marriage, so it was nice to have them over for a holiday. My father and I have a very strained relationship due to things that happened while I was growing up, and I had shared a lot of the details with my husband. Both SNO and my father have very strong opinions, so at times they clashed as well. Anyway, they had an argument outside while my parents were leaving that was very ugly. I wasn’t out there to witness it, but my mom called me and told me about it after they got home. Rather than taking my husband’s side, I immediately got angry with him for treating my father the way he did. He even said to me that I knew how my father was, and that I was not married to my dad but to him and that I expected more from him than from my dad. But we did not agree on an amicable resolution to the problem, which I deemed as being huge. At that time, my kids were the only small grandkids my parents had, and they loved them dearly, and I didn’t want them to stop visiting us because of a rift between my husband and my dad.

Anyway, I decided to go to a counselor at our church to discuss this problem. But I must admit that my sole intent for going was for the counselor to tell SNO how wrong he was for disrespecting my dad. And I didn’t tell him that I was going to a counselor. I explained the problem to her, and she asked me if I would divorce him if he didn’t apologize to my dad. I was taken aback, because the thought never crossed my mind. I told her that I hadn’t thought about it and left it at that. Well, she had a separate session with him and she must have told him that I SAID that I would divorce him if he didn’t apologize to him. But when we had one joint session, that comment never came up. He reluctantly decided to apologize to my dad, for the sake of our marriage, but it really took a toll on him because I didn’t respect, honor, or revere him as the bible said I should. He mentioned to me several months later that she told him that, and I denied ever saying it, but to this day he doesn’t believe me.

Linda particularly asked me to share this for those of you who are considering seeking out “Christian” counselors. If I had known what the bible teaches about a wife’s role, I never would have gone to her. And I should have gracefully exited her office after she made that comment. Linda also wanted me to share this and how I let my “pride” get in the way of praying for my husband and our situation. I was very angry with him, and wanted him to know it. I wanted to be “right” and for someone to tell him he was wrong. It happened, he apologized, and now I’m divorced. I wanted to be right, rather than happy, as Linda says.

I did not follow any of the scriptures on what a wife should be or do. But we all know that what the enemy meant for evil, God can turn around for good. So I hope that this post will help someone realize the dangers of “pride” and “being right.” Our husbands are the heads of our house, and the bible says that we should respect and honor them, and win them over without a word. Let us all learn to practice God’s ways, and we will get God’s results.

(Note from Linda: The following message and testimony was shared on the private website yesterday and I asked Lisa’s permission to share it here because it is such a significant message and powerful testimony for everyone standing for marriage restoration; especially as we have all been blessed to witness the Lord’s miracle of restoration so powerfully at work in Lisa’s marriage and family! So read it and learn from it and you will indeed be blessed and encouraged; because when you DO as God’s Word says, the Lord WILL most certainly move on your behalf just as He has for her! And not only has her relationship with her husband been restored, but she just started the job of her dreams last week too!)

*****
As we stand on the power and promise of GOD’S Word for the full and complete restoration of our marriages and families, it is vitally important for us to fully understand and implement the instructions given in Colossians 3:23-25, which says:
22 Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything; and do it, not only when their eye is on you and to win their favor, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord.
23 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men 24 since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.
25 Anyone who does wrong will be repaid for his wrong, and there is no favoritism.
(And check out the Amplified Bible version as well.)

So no matter what the situation with our spouse, we should never say or think “He/She is just using me.” Instead we must KNOW and understand that GOD IS USING US! Nd we must come to realize that since we are the ones called to “stand” for our marriages, God requires complete obedience from us and that we have to obey His word no matter how we feel or what we think. And we need to understand that we are also the very vessel God will use and work through to bring restoration to our marriages. Therefore our assignment is to submit to God! And when submitting to God, we surrender and rely completely on HIS WORD (The Holy Bible) ONLY, and not on our thoughts; not on our emotions; not on worldly opinions or worldly advice; not on our education and not on our upbringing (traditions, sayings, social status, etc.).

With this in mind; there will undoubtedly be times when our spouses ask or expect something of us in certain situations that we feel is going above and beyond the “call of duty” or that requires us to give up our so-called “rights or entitlements.” Unfortunately, that’s when thoughts usually come to our minds like; “It’s just not fair.” or “He/She is just using me.”

Yet Colossians 3:23 states “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, NOT FOR MEN (in our case, our spouses). And, if by chance our spouses have wrong motives, we have God’s assurance in verse 25 that “Anyone who does wrong will be repaid for his wrong, and there is no favoritism.” So they are not getting away with anything, even though it may SEEM otherwise to us; we have GOD’S Word on that.

And look at what we get when we do things GOD’S way; verse 24 says “since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward.” And our earthly reward is a restored marriage! Praise God!

So we need to read and study the entire chapter of Colossians 3, and pull out every precious nugget of wisdom and godly counsel and PUT IT INTO PRACTICE! And we must ALWAYS check our motives for doing everything we say and do! Amen.

It was my failure to understand this and the resulting damage to my own marriage that taught me how important this is as we stand for the restoration of our marriages and families. After my husband and I separated, he would call and ask me to pay his bills online, or constantly ask me to do this or that for him. And after a while, I got tired of it and when he called, I would tell him, “The only reason you’re calling me is because you want me to do something for you.” And he would reply “Because I need your help.” So after a while, I just stopped answering his phone calls because I kept repeatedly thinking and saying “He is only using me!” In fact, one time I even called him and said “Don’t ask me to help you or your children with anything else, I don’t want to be bothered anymore.” He immediately came over to the house and asked what I was going through and if I was alright. I told him yes, but that I thought he was just using me and I was tired of it. After that, he stopped calling me and whenever I called him from that point on, he wouldn’t answer my calls and would call me back whenever he decided to. And when he did talk to me, he was very cold hearted toward me and things just got worse from there; and not just in my relationship with my husband.

Back in March of this year, I lost my job because even though I was totally in the right in a certain situation; the way I handle it was wrong. Again, I FELT like I was being used in that situation just because my boss felt he could. But that’s when I was forced to take a long hard look at ME and MY WAYS!

One of the areas I had to deal with was my marriage and once I decided to stand for my marriage, I had to allow God to change how I thought, felt, spoke and saw every situation in my life involving my husband, his children, my children and people in general. Everything about me had to change or nothing would improve. God had to literally bring me to nothing; that’s how stubborn and prideful I was and my husband could not stand that about me. After finally submitting to God and allowing him to change me and my outlook according to the word of God, I can truly say “To God be the Glory for the GREAT things He has done!”

So the question is “Do we REALLY trust God?” Let’s look at what the holy women of 1 Peter 3:5-6(AMP) did; For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who TRUSTED GOD also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands. As Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord whose daughters you are if you DO GOOD and are NOT AFRAID with any terror.

It’s so important to realize that when we pray and petition God for something, how we respond in the very situation we are praying about actually determines the answer we get. We have to remember that God is ONLY obligated to HIS WORD and nothing else! So we have to make sure that our hearts are pure before God and that they are full of love, because the greatest Gift is Love.

1 Corinthians 3: 4-8 (AMP) - Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily. It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God’s love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong]. It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail. Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening]. Love never fails [never fades out or becomes obsolete or comes to an end].

So the next time we find ourselves in any scenario involving our spouses that causes us to feel as though we are being taken advantage of or taken for granted; instead of thinking or saying my spouse is using me; say “GOD is using me.” And our whole outlook on the matter will change and the ultimate outcome will be more restored marriages! WE MUST GIRD UP OUR LOINS WITH TRUTH!!!

My prayer is that our hearts will be open and receptive to receive what God is imparting to all of us! I love you all very much and know that I am praying for everyone.

I had a totally different post planned for today and for FAM Chat tonight, but as the result of a conversation I had with someone a couple of nights ago and a wonderful praise testimony posted by one of the FAM Fellowship members this morning, I decided to actually do a Bible study on submission. And since there’s SO much that could be written as a result, I’m not really going to do much more today than share some of the passages of scripture that best illustrate what the Lord has put on my heart, and what I know is so important for everyone standing for marriage restoration to understand and put into practice. But I will address some of that in later Seeds Of Faith posts.

When we read and study God’s Word, there’s no doubt that God is very serious about respecting and honoring those He sets up in positions of authority, and the way He is glorified when we do and the amazing blessings we receive when we HUMBLE ourselves and submit to the authorities in our lives and to God. And that’s very particularly the case in terms of God’s command and expectation for women to submit themselves to the authority and headship of their husbands. Whether or not we understand it, or even if we don’t like it; that is what the Bible makes VERY clear and we all ignore or disregard it at our own peril but we won’t be the only ones who have to live with the consequences of that kind of disobedience; which by the way is no less sinful or unacceptable than the eyes of God than adultery or any other kind of sin our spouses might be involved in.

The following passages of scripture make it very clear that God sets up those in authority over us in all areas of our lives and that He expects us to submit to their authority in submission and obedience to Him AND trust the consequences to Him. And THEY will give an account to HIM for what they do as they exercise the authority He has given them. And it’s not possible to do a thorough study of what God teaches on this topic without realizing that despite popular opinion; God expects us to be obedient and submissive EVEN to the UNGODLY people in positions of authority in our lives! So read the following verses with that in mind:

Romans 13:1-3 - Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. Consequently, he who rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves. For rulers hold no terror for those who do right, but for those who do wrong. Do you want to be free from fear of the one in authority? Then do what is right and he will commend you.

Hebrews 13:17 - Obey your leaders and submit to their authority. They keep watch over you as men who must give an account. Obey them so that their work will be a joy, not a burden, for that would be of no advantage to you.

1 Peter 2:11-15 - Dear friends, I urge you, as aliens and strangers in the world, to abstain from sinful desires, which war against your soul. Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us. Submit yourselves for the Lord’s sake to every authority instituted among men: whether to the king, as the supreme authority, or to governors, who are sent by him to punish those who do wrong and to commend those who do right. For it is God’s will that by doing good you should silence the ignorant talk of foolish men.

1 Peter 2:17-19 - Show proper respect to everyone: Love the brotherhood of believers, fear God, honor the king.
Slaves, submit yourselves to your masters with all respect, not only to those who are good and considerate, but also to those who are harsh. For it is commendable if a man bears up under the pain of unjust suffering because he is conscious of God.

When we find ourselves in the midst of strife and conflict, our attitudes are not pleasing to God and we are NOT submitting to Him and what His Word teaches; and much of the time, probably not acting in submission to someone else in a position of authority in our lives. When we trust God and HUMBLE ourselves under His mighty hand, we don’t have to have our own way or “prove” that we’re right and that someone else is wrong; that’s pride. And as Proverbs 13:10 (NKJV) states By pride comes nothing but strife, But with the well-advised is wisdom. And that’s confirmed in the following passage of scripture.

James 4:1-12 - What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but don’t get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.
You adulterous people, don’t you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God. Or do you think Scripture says without reason that the spirit he caused to live in us envies intensely? But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.
Brothers, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against his brother or judges him speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping
it, but sitting in judgment on it. There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy. But you—who are you to judge your neighbor?

While submission and humility is ALWAYS contrary to the dictates of our flesh, there’s no doubt that it’s SO much easier when we understand the blessings it brings our way and the supernatural power it releases into our lives and circumstances. I’ve seen the Lord move in many amazing ways; but little compares to the supernatural power I’ve seen released through submission to the power and promise of God’s Word. And it NEVER ceases to amaze me how QUICKLY the Lord acts when we do humble ourselves before Him and others. I don’t have space to include them here, but there are a LOT of verses that PROMISE that the LORD will exalt, honor, bless, glorify and lift us up when we humble ourselves under His mighty hand and submit to Him and those in authority in our lives as He commands us to do. But the following verses are just a few to keep in mind as we consider that, especially the passage from Psalm 81, which promises that God will act QUICKLY on our behalf when we turn to doing things His way.

Genesis 49:14-15 - “Issachar is a rawboned donkey lying down between two saddlebags. When he sees how good is his resting place and how pleasant is his land, he will bend his shoulder to the burden and submit to forced labor. “

2 Chronicles 30:7-9 - Do not be like your fathers and brothers, who were unfaithful to the LORD, the God of their fathers, so that he made them an object of horror, as you see. Do not be stiff-necked, as your fathers were; submit to the LORD. Come to the sanctuary, which he has consecrated forever. Serve the LORD your God, so that his fierce anger will turn away from you. If you return to the LORD, then your brothers and your children will be shown compassion by their captors and will come back to this land, for the LORD your God is gracious and compassionate. He will not turn his face from you if you return to him.”

Hebrews 12:9 - Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live!

Job 22:21-22 - “Submit to God and be at peace with him; in this way prosperity will come to you. Accept instruction from his mouth and lay up his words in your heart.

Psalm 81:10-16 - I am the LORD your God, who brought you up out of Egypt. Open wide your mouth and I will fill it. “But my people would not listen to me; Israel would not submit to me. So I gave them over to their stubborn hearts to follow their own devices. “If my people would but listen to me, if Israel would follow my ways, how quickly would I subdue their enemies and turn my hand against their foes! Those who hate the LORD would cringe before him, and their punishment would last forever. But you would be fed with the finest of wheat; with honey from the rock I would satisfy you.”

We need to realize that instead of giving up power (usually power we don’t even have, no matter how much we might think otherwise), the totally opposite is true, because when we humble ourselves before the Lord and DO as His Word instructs, including submission to those in authority over us, we in fact access the supernatural power of Jesus Christ and our Lord God Almighty and thereby walk in the AUTHORITY of HIS name! And the following verses are just a few to help us understand that and the awesome power and protection we have access to in the name and authority of Jesus Christ!

Luke 10:17-24 - The seventy-two returned with joy and said, “Lord, even the demons submit to us in your name.” He replied, “I saw Satan fall like lightning from heaven. I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you. However, do not rejoice that the spirits submit to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven.”
At that time Jesus, full of joy through the Holy Spirit, said, “I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children. Yes, Father, for this was your good pleasure. “All things have been committed to me by my Father. No one knows who the Son is except the Father, and no one knows who the Father is except the Son and those to whom the Son chooses to reveal him.” Then he turned to his disciples and said privately, “Blessed are the eyes that see what you see. For I tell you that many prophets and kings wanted to see what you see but did not see it, and to hear what you hear but did not hear it.”

And without a true understanding and knowledge of the Lord, we can’t and won’t submit to His Word, will and way or walk in the power of His Spirit, as the following passages make very clear.

Romans 8:6-8 - The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace; the sinful mind is hostile to God. It does not submit to God’s law, nor can it do so. Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God.

Romans 10:2-4 - For I can testify about them that they are zealous for God, but their zeal is not based on knowledge. Since they did not know the righteousness that comes from God and sought to establish their own, they did not submit to God’s righteousness. Christ is the end of the law so that there may be righteousness for everyone who believes.

James 3:17 - But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.

So it’s very important for all of us standing on the power and promise of God’s Word for marriage restoration to learn what it means to “submit” according to what His Word teaches. Therefore, the following passages of scripture are some of the most instructive and important for anyone standing for marriage restoration; particularly wives.

Colossians 3:17-19 - And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.
Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.

1 Peter 3:1-7 - Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.
Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear. Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

Ephesians 5:21-33 - Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church—for we are members of his body.
“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.
However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

And if we have any doubt just how important submission is to God, it’s difficult to miss when we read Hebrews 5:7, which says During the days of Jesus’ life on earth, he offered up prayers and petitions with loud cries and tears to the one who could save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverent submission. If Jesus, WHO HIMSELF IS GOD, was heard BECAUSE of His submission and reverence, surely we don’t think we can get away with anything less! But WHEN we DO submit to God’s authority (including those HE has put in authority over us), we can expect to see great and mighty things happening in our lives and at what I am personally convinced is likely to be at a greatly accelerated pace, because of God’s awesome promise in 1 Peter 5:3-6, which says Young men, in the same way be submissive to those who are older. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.

And since there’s never a more powerful way to illustrate the way God works and just how faithful He ALWAYS is and ALWAYS WILL BE when we submit in faith and obedience to what His Word teaches, we are blessed to have the following praise testimony (edited to protect the identity of those involved) from a FAM Fellowship member who learned about the power and promise of submission in a very real and personal way last night. So I thank her for permission to share her testimony here and I know everyone reading it will be blessed and encouraged!

*****
Hi everyone,

I know it’s early, but I just had to take this time to give God the glory for what just transpired. Monday was our wedding anniversary, and my husband and I spoke briefly to each other and he said “Happy Anniversary and God bless you.” So I extended the same back to him.

My daughter has been spending just about all summer at his house with his daughter; a miracle in itself, because they were totally opposite when we all lived together, and she did not care for my husband at all about five months before we separated. And now she just adores him and I praise God for that miracle. On Wednesday, she came home briefly and then left to go back to my husband’s house, which is just a few minutes away. I gave her mail to give to my husband and told her to ask him if I could use his truck yesterday since I had to take my car to the mechanic. I did that as I don’t like to intrude. She called later and said that he said yes and for me to call him. I hesitated a while as I was not sure what he wanted since he had already said I could use the truck. But I called and he said that I didn’t have to send a message; to pick up the phone and call him for anything and that it was okay to use the vehicle and “I love you and you can ask me for anything; I am always here for you and you know that. If I needed to ask you something, I would pick up the phone and call you and ask you myself and not send a message through the children.” So I apologized and told him I was sorry and that it would not happen again.

And then yesterday morning, he called on my cell to check on me and ask how it was going with my car and if everything was okay. After I explained what was happening, he asked why I hadn’t come over to his house the night before. The questioned caught me off guard, so I hesitated and then said because I wasn’t invited over. He then said “I need to ask you to come over?” I said “Yes, just ask and I’ll be there.” And then I asked if he wanted me to come over last night and he said yes. So I said I would. We then talked a little bit more and hung up. He called again later and relayed a message from a mutual associate and we joked a little and he let me know that he was home and we said our goodbyes.

My husband and I conversed with one another, watched a little TV and the rest is history! Oh Glory! I told him later that I had not eaten anything and he said I was welcome to anything I wanted and to make myself at home. So I went downstairs and snacked on something and then went to bed. And he stayed close to me throughout the night.

Around 1:30 in the morning, I went downstairs to get something to drink and he asked me to bring him back a soda. The girls were still up and talking in his daughter’s bedroom. When I came back he asked what they were doing and I said they were talking and he just said okay. But around 2:20, they were still up and that bothered me a little as I thought they should have been in bed at that time. I wanted to say something but chose not to since I was at his house and I didn’t want him to think I was trying to run his house. But at 2:30, I couldn’t sleep as the girls were getting a little louder; laughing and singing. So I started to tell them to go to bed, but again didn’t because I was at his house. Then I remembered talking to Linda on Sunday for over two hours and one of the topics we discussed was 1 Peter 3:1-6 and she enlightened me as to what those passages really meant, which truly blessed me and gave me a totally different prospective on the way I am to handle everything concerning my husband. I was truly blessed and couldn’t believe how I was missing the mark. The Lord brought our conversation back to my memory and I decided to put it into practice.

Then I got out of the bed and got down on my knees and spent a little time praising and worshiping God and then I made my prayer and supplication known to Him and asked Him to move by his Spirit and deal with my husband’s heart concerning the girls going to bed as it was way past their bed time. Then I began to thank Him. And as I was getting off of my knees and getting ready to get back in bed, he said “MNO (member name omitted), can you please tell the girls to go to bed; it’s 2:48.” Y’all can imagine how I felt! I wanted to shout right then and there, but contained myself and just said “Okay.” I opened the bedroom door (his daughter’s bedroom is directly across from his) and said “Girls, SNO (spouse name omitted) said it’s time to go to bed…good night.” I then closed the door back and proceeded to go in the bathroom to give God all the glory and my husband said “MNO?” I said yes and he said “Thank you.” I said “you’re welcome.” And then I went into the bathroom and praised God like I had lost my natural mind because he honored me for honoring His word! I then got back in bed but could not sleep for thinking about what God had just done and for thanking Him so very much for what He did. It was then time for SNO to get up and get ready for work as he leaves very early. So we left and he followed me home.

Let me tell you all something; this has tremendously increased my faith in God and allowed me to know that if I hold my peace instead of handling it my way; and DO it His way, He is obligated to fulfill His promise by bringing it to pass. My God, my God, my God!
To GOD be the GLORY for great things he has done! Amen, Amen and Amen.

THANK YOU, LINDA, so very much for all you are doing and for helping us. If it had not been for God using you to speak into my life and correcting me, I can truly say I would not have had this outcome and it was right on time. Know that your labor is truly not in vain. My prayer is that God tremendously blesses you spiritually, financially and physically. Amen!

Note from Linda: Living the abundant, righteous, joy filled and peaceful lives Jesus came to give us would be so easy if we only understood just how great and mighty our God is; not to mention His unfailing love and faithfulness! So read this wonderful message from Lorraine; take it to heart and you will be blessed and encouraged!

*****
“Thou shewest loving kindness unto thousands, and recompensest the iniquity of the fathers into the bosom of their children after them: the Great, the Mighty God, the LORD of hosts, is his name.” Jeremiah 32:18

Often we forget just how great and mighty God is. I wanted to remind you this morning that He is not a weak God. He is mighty and powerful. His power has not diminished with time. He has not gotten old and feeble. He has not changed. He is still able to speak a world into existence. He is still able to part a sea. He is still able to fight battles and win. He is still more powerful than the enemy. He can still bring down giants, walls, quench the fires of furnaces, shout lion’s mouths, send manna from heaven and water out of a rock. He can still feed thousands with a handful. He can still heal the sick, open the eyes of the blind, open the ears of the deaf, straighten limbs, and forgive sins.

How is it that we think that He is any less GOD?! We can’t even comprehend GOD– what that means or who He is. He spoke into nothing and created everything. He holds everything together by the power of His word. He sees the smallest sparrow when it falls. He sees each blade of grass as it withers. He can count the number of grains of sand on the seashores. He calls each star by name. He tells the ocean where to stop so it doesn’t daily flood the earth.

Don’t let what you see, hear or feel; don’t let the mountain you are facing; don’t let the impossibility of the situation you are going through; don’t let those who are negative– lessen the power and might of God. He is powerful and mighty whether you believe He is or not.

Have a great day. He is a great and powerful and mighty— Almighty— God!!!

“Ah Lord GOD! behold, thou hast made the heaven and the earth by thy great power and stretched out arm, and there is nothing too hard for thee. Great in counsel, and mighty in work: ” Jeremiah 32:17,19

“The LORD is slow to anger, and great in power..” Nahum 1:3a

“Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us.” Ephesians 3:20

“Who is this King of glory? The LORD strong and mighty, the LORD mighty in battle.” Psalm 24:8

*****
Coffee Break is a morning devotional written by Lorraine Ezell, and available online and sent by email free of charge for the asking from About the Master’s Business Ministry, Inc.
So please feel free to call Lorraine at (601) 833-5278 or E-mail her at mastersbusiness@bellsouth.net
And you can visit her on the web at MastersBusiness.org.

At this, Job got up and tore his robe and shaved his head. Then he fell to the ground in worship and said: “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will depart. The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised.” (Job 1:20-21)

What is the first response we have to our troubles? For some it may be to give into the emotions of the moment, to cry, scream, yell and get mad. For others it might be to shut down all together and go into a state of temporary shock. But would our first response be to worship and praise the name of the Lord? Well, that was Jobs first response when he found out that he had lost all of his property, his children and his servants. I can’t even begin to imagine the turmoil Job felt; the heartache and pain he bore all at once; it would be completely devastating!

Job could have understandably chosen many other things to do and say during that moment, but he chose to worship and praise God! As a matter of fact, during his second test, when his body broke out in boils, his own wife told him to curse God and die. And Job told her that she was speaking like a foolish woman!

So Satan went out from the presence of the LORD and afflicted Job with painful sores from the soles of his feet to the top of his head. Then Job took a piece of broken pottery and scraped himself with it as he sat among the ashes. His wife said to him, “Are you still holding on to your integrity? Curse God and die!” He replied, “You are talking like a foolish woman. Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?” In all this, Job did not sin in what he said. (Job 2:7-10)

Praise is a very important tool in winning all of our battles. Just as with Job’s troubles, ours too, come from the spiritual realms.

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. (Ephesians 6:12)

We are able to see in vivid detail how Satan wages war on us in the book of Job. We actually get to witness conversations between God and Satan, and we can benefit from watching and taking notes from Job’s reactions to each test. And we also can trust that when we praise the Lord, refuse to curse him for our troubles and continue to worship him; He will give us wisdom and guidance, and He will bless us and RESTORE us so that we will be much better off than before the trials and struggles.

The LORD blessed the latter part of Job’s life more than the first. (Job 42:12)

The importance of praise and worship is so vital to our relationship with the Lord, and we miss so much if we do not give Him the praises He so greatly deserves. We know that Lucifer fell because he coveted God’s praises; and make no mistake; Satan still desires to be praised. And when we fail to praise the Lord and start naming our problems, listing our troubles and sinking into a trap of self pity; we are praising Satan. We are in effect glorifying him and saying that he is doing his job so well that we can’t even offer up praises to Almighty God, because he has us so down. It’s not intentional, but that’s what we do; we steal and waste precious time that we could sing of Gods wonders just to cry in despair as Satan works to steal, kill and destroy everything dear to us and the glory that belongs to our Lord and Savior.

When we look at it like that, it’s easy to see why we are to praise God in everything! And when we do, He will bless us. I was actually thinking back to a story I read on this site close to a year ago by Diane. I tried my best to find it, but I couldn’t and because I don’t want the details to get too mixed up, I can only share that I remember Diane writing a post that seemed to read like a PRAISE REPORT about how her daughter’s car was broken into. I remember reading it and feeling “Wow, she is so faithful in her praises that not even that can stop her from praising!” She knew that something good would come from it, but she didn’t know what; nor did she need to know; she just trusted that God had a plan! Well, I did find the second post, which proves that praising God - no matter what - will open up the heavenly realms for God to use those moments to bring glory to our Lord. In the end one of the items stolen, a cell phone, was returned! Diane pointed out that if God can return a cell phone (something the enemy has stolen), He can return our spouses too. He is in control; COMPLETELY! So I encourage you to look back and read the post titled God Returns a Cell Phone by Diane. And remember that this post was written a few weeks after the first one, which described the details of how her daughter’s car was broken into; worded so powerfully with praise that God stepped in!

If we want God to step in and make our situations glorify the Lord, then we have to consistently praise him, worship him, and never blame or curse him for where we are in life. Everything we go through has purpose. Think of how many millions of people have been touched by Job’s story; In fact, the book of Job is said to be the oldest book of the Bible! In that case, Job didn’t have any other written words to rely on; he didn’t get to learn about God’s Word from others, or get to read the Psalms in troublesome times as we do.

We serve a powerful, amazing, loving God; let us never stop lifting His name up! Our whole lives will begin to change dramatically as we just thank him!

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. (Philippians 4:6)

Are we anxious for our spouses to return home? Are we feeling miserable, worn out, or fearful that God’s timing may never come? Are we listening to the advice of those close to us who tell us to give up on our stand and let the dream go? Just as when Job’s wife told him to curse God and die, let’s continue to praise God! Let’s get excited and start calling those things that are not as though they are, just like Abraham did! Let’s be thankful in everything, content in all circumstances, and expect a miracle! God will get his glory; we just have to give Him room to work! And we as a ministry will move mountains together to end the cycle of divorce for all of our families. We can see so many wonderful things happening among all of us. We are on a roll of restorations, and more are to come; MANY more! FAMM is growing, and we are being blessed as we get to witness some awesome miracles, so stay encouraged and keep praising God with all of your mind, body and soul! May The Name Of The LORD Be Praised!

Nehemiah had to prepare his heart for God’s plan. God had put it in his heart to return to Jerusalem and rebuild the walls and the city. But he was up against tremendous resistance. Local officials didn’t want the walls rebuilt, and they were determined to stop him. Not only did they try to discourage Nehemiah and his men, they also tried to make them look foolish in the eyes of the people. And they mocked them with belittling statements. (Nehemiah 2:19, 4:3)

God has put it in our hearts to stand for our marriages; the covenant we made with him and our spouses. Perhaps we have been ridiculed, made light of, or even persecuted for our beliefs. We are often told to just move on, your spouse has made up his/her mind and there is nothing that you can do about it. But trust and obey all that God has put on your heart to do, because the opposition isn’t necessarily another person, but something we wrestle with in our own minds as Satan bombards us with seeds of doubt and unbelief. Often when God asks something of us, we face resistance and opposition from the outside and from within. And those obstacles will either make us turn to God and allow Him to increase our faith or make us give up and give in to the enemy and abandon God’s purpose and our stand. But God calls us to obedient faith.

Like Nehemiah, we must realize that if God called us to a task, He will help us accomplish it. And knowing that God is behind our task is the best incentive to move ahead even when facing opposition. So God’s approval is all we need.

The officials were enraged that they couldn’t stop Nehemiah and the restoration progressed. Similarly, anger may come against us from our spouses or others in order to stop or deter us from standing for our marriages. But Nehemiah fasted and prayed until he had the mind of the Lord, and then he boldly stood up to the opposition. He wasn’t ashamed to admit his fear, but he refused to allow fear to keep him from doing what God had called him to do. When we allow fear to rule us, we make fear more powerful than God.

Nehemiah reminded his workers of their calling; of their goal and God’s protection. (Nehemiah 4:10-14) When we are mocked for our faith or criticized for doing what we know is right, we have to refuse to be discouraged. We have to remember God’s promise to be with us and let Him be our encouragement and strength to carry on. He will not ask us to do something we cannot do or He will not complete. And we show God that we are serious when we combine prayer with thought, preparation and effort.

Nehemiah trusted God to accomplish the task. He didn’t pray to get out of the situation; he prayed for strength to meet the challenge and had faith that God would see His promise through. In the same way, we are called to remain steadfast in our stand for our marriages; completely dependent on our God and His Word.

Be blessed; praise and worship God. Glorify Him and stay focused on His will for restoration.

Note from Linda: This is such a timely message from Lorraine, and so important for all of us to put into practice as we stand against all earthly odds for the restoration of our marriages and families! And IF we keep our minds stayed on the goodness of God, we WILL BE blessed and encouraged!

*****
“I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living.” Psalm 27:13

It seems like most of our attention is given to our problems and our conversations usually center around the bad things or trying situations that are happening. There is nothing wrong with acknowledging a problem. But this morning I want to talk about the goodness of the Lord. Do we spend as much– or more—time talking about God’s goodness as we do the problems?

God is good. He is good no matter what is happening. He is good when everything else is bad. He is good in the daytime and in the night time. He is good in the times of rain and sunshine. God is good in times of plenty and times of lack. God is good when all is well and when it’s not. God is good in times of peace and in times of war. God is good in times of sickness and in times of health. God is good everyday, not just at certain times. God is good even when I’m not. God is good when the mountain is before me. God is good when the lions roar. God is good when I am rejected by men. God is good even when the furnace is hot. God is good in the valley. God is good on the mountain. God is good in green pastures. God is good in the wilderness. He is good when I have problems and He is good when I don’t.

Need I say more?? God is good and we need to spend more time meditating on and talking about God’s goodness than we do on the things that are happening around us. That’s part of… “His praise shall continually be in my mouth.” Which do you spend more time talking about— your problems or His goodness? If we would do the latter, perhaps some of our problems would not seem as big.

Have a great day. Meditate on the goodness of the Lord today.

*****
Coffee Break is a morning devotional written by Lorraine Ezell, and available online and sent by email free of charge for the asking from About the Master’s Business Ministry, Inc.
So please feel free to call Lorraine at (601) 833-5278 or E-mail her at mastersbusiness@bellsouth.net
And you can visit her on the web at MastersBusiness.org.

One of the FAM Fellowship members sent the following YouTube marriage restoration testimonies, so I want to share them with everyone else as well. Thanks Cindy! They just prove that we never know HOW God will work, BUT HE DOES, AND HE ALWAYS MAKES THINGS BETTER THAN THEY WERE BEFORE, so be blessed and encouraged!

*****
Marriage testimony

Testimony - The Last Call (Restored Marriage)

Heidi and Michael O’Brien’s Story

Her Affair Destroyed (and Saved) Their Marriage

One of the greatest, yet most rewarding challenges when standing for marriage restoration, especially when children are involved, is achieving and maintaining the peace described in Philippians 4:6-7, which says Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. And Isaiah 26:3 (NKJV) says You will keep him in perfect peace, Whose mind is stayed on You, Because he trusts in You. So if we’re not filled with peace and interacting with our spouses in peace, we simply don’t trust God. And the ONLY possible reason for NOT trusting God is NOT BELIEVING GOD. And that’s a very dangerous thing for anyone in need of a miracle, because a lack of faith steals, kills and destroys our peace and can keep God from giving us the very miracle we want and need, as seen in Matthew 13:57-58, which says And they took offense at him. But Jesus said to them, “Only in his hometown and in his own house is a prophet without honor.” And he did not do many miracles there because of their lack of faith. And Matthew 9:28-30 makes it clear that we will receive ACCORDING TO OUR FAITH; it says When he had gone indoors, the blind men came to him, and he asked them, “Do you believe that I am able to do this?” “Yes, Lord,” they replied. Then he touched their eyes and said, “According to your faith will it be done to you”; and their sight was restored. …

Since there’s no more powerful or effective way to make this point than sharing God’s Word about it, I hope the following verses will help us all understand how important it is to focus on our walk and relationship with the Lord as we stand for the restoration of our marriages and families, and that we will experience perfect peace ONLY by keeping our minds stayed on the Lord, as we trust Him and live in obedience to His word.

Romans 8:5-7 - Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace; the sinful mind is hostile to God. It does not submit to God’s law, nor can it do so.

1 Corinthians 15:2 - By this gospel you are saved, if you hold firmly to the word I preached to you. Otherwise, you have believed in vain.

Romans 1:28 - Furthermore, since they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, he gave them over to a depraved mind, to do what ought not to be done.

Matthew 16:23 - Jesus turned and said to Peter, “Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the things of God, but the things of men.”

Romans 12:2 - Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Matthew 22:37-38 - Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment.

Jeremiah 31:33 - “This is the covenant I will make with the house of Israel after that time,” declares the LORD. “I will put my law in their minds and write it on their hearts. I will be their God, and they will be my people.

Colossians 3:1-2 - 1 Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.

James 1:5-8 - If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.

Philippians 4:8 - Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Romans 5:1-2 - Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God.

Job 22:21 - “Submit to God and be at peace with him; in this way prosperity will come to you.

2 Peter 1:2-3 - Grace and peace be yours in abundance through the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord. His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.

Romans 14:17-18 - For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, because anyone who serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and approved by men.

Romans 16:20 - The God of peace will soon crush Satan under your feet. The grace of our Lord Jesus be with you.

Acts 10:36 - You know the message God sent to the people of Israel, telling the good news of peace through Jesus Christ, who is Lord of all.

Philippians 4:9 - Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

1 Peter 1:1-2 - Peter, an apostle of Jesus Christ, To God’s elect, strangers in the world, scattered throughout Pontus, Galatia, Cappadocia, Asia and Bithynia, who have been chosen according to the foreknowledge of God the Father, through the sanctifying work of the Spirit, for obedience to Jesus Christ and sprinkling by his blood: Grace and peace be yours in abundance.

Psalm 85:8 - I will listen to what God the LORD will say; he promises peace to his people, his saints— but let them not return to folly.

Romans 15:13 - May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

So when we fail to walk in the grace, righteousness, peace, and joy of the Lord, we need to examine our hearts, because these verses make it very clear that when we’re in right relationship with the Lord, when we have our minds stayed on Him, and when we put our faith and trust in Him, and obey His word, our faith will not be in vain and we will be blessed and encouraged beyond belief because Jesus ALWAYS keeps us in perfect peace!

Fear may be a challenge for many of us as we journey through life’s difficulties and the unknown. We fear that we will lose something we have or perhaps that we won’t get what we want. But one thing we can be sure of is that if God promises something, we will receive it. So fear not!

Unfortunately, fear often keeps us from enjoying all that God wants to give us. Sometimes we even fear what might happen if we put our trust completely in Christ and give up all control and lean on Him instead of our own ability and understanding. But as we consider how the Israelites gave in to their fear of going into the Promised Land, we can relate that to where we are now as we stand for our marriages and God’s promise of healing and restoration.

In Numbers 13 and 14, we see clearly what happens when God gives a promise and His people let fear hinder their ability to put their trust in Him. The twelve scouts were sent to explore the land of Canaan; the Promised Land, the land God told Moses He was giving to the Israelites. God had told the Israelites that the Promised Land was rich and fertile. And when ten of the scouts reported back, they provided plenty of proof of that and good reasons to continue on to the Promised Land, but their focus was more on fear of the negative things they saw. Even though they had God’s promise, they still refused to let go of their fear and trust Him. Yet, Joshua and Caleb stayed focused on God’s promise, and trusted Him, as they were willing to do as He commanded. But the people’s fear grew with the negative report of the ten who did not trust God, and with their doubt came delay; God turned an eleven day journey to the Promised Land into forty years of wandering in the wilderness.

Sadly, fear can interfere with trusting and believing in God’s promise even to the point of forgetting His promise. So we cannot let negative circumstances or situations cause us to lose sight of the promises God has given in His Word and put in our hearts and minds. Satan can even blind us to God’s power and His promise to help guide us with wisdom and discernment. The enemy wants us to lean on our own understanding, and rely on our emotions and feelings, and that causes our faith to fail.

When we doubt God, we feel defeated and discouraged, and wander aimlessly without hope, like the Israelites, and accomplish nothing and that hinders growth in our relationship with Jesus Christ. We can read, study, and meditate on God’s Word constantly, but if we fail to believe His Word and the promises He gives us and do not act on its power and authority, then we remain helpless and without hope. But we have the truth of God’s Word at our disposal and by trusting and being obedient, we can confidently believe and easily conquer what Satan comes to steal, kill, and destroy.

It’s amazing to see how those ten men were able to influence those who trusted them and gave into their doubt and fear, even though they had God’s promise! So we have to be cautious when we hear from anyone who voices their doubt and fear to us as we stand for the restoration of our marriages. We have to be confident in what God has promised and pray for wisdom and discernment. And we need to support and encourage others to trust, believe and live obedient lives, as God is ALWAYS faithful to His Word.

Blessings!

Related Scripture: Numbers 13 and 14

Since I often counsel others that when the Lord gives us a burden or concern about something, He usually means for us to deal with it in some way, I found myself challenged to take my own counsel today. And even though this might be another controversial topic, it comes from my heart and in obedience to what I know the Lord wants me to share. So it is my most sincere hope and prayer that it will be understood and received in the manner intended and that it will shed the light of God’s Word on a matter of great importance; because it is possible for some of our sincere and well intended prayers to actually hinder the work of the Holy Spirit as we stand for the restoration of our marriages and families. But I need to acknowledge that I was once quite guilty of self-righteous, judgmental, prideful and quite ineffective prayer myself, because I too had been taught to pray in a manner contrary to the very specific instructions found in the New Testament; including the examples provided by Jesus Himself.

Yet, it just breaks my heart now to hear men and women say (not to mention actually pray) that they continually pray for the Lord to deliver their spouse from this and that sin, to bring about consequences leading them to repentance (even though I am pretty sure there might well be at least one Seeds Of Faith post way back in the archives where I even suggested doing that!), not to let them have a moment of peace or happiness until they return home, to “break” them…and so on. I just wonder where and how we learned to pray that way for our one flesh husbands and wives; the very men and women we profess to love. It’s certainly not the example Jesus provided and not at all in keeping with any of the prayers in the New Testament. And we sure don’t find any of that in Jesus’ very specific instructions about prayer in Matthew 6:5-15.In fact, quite the contrary; Jesus makes it VERY clear that we can NOT expect God to forgive our debts and sins if we haven’t forgiven the debts and sins of others. So we ignore the significance of that being stated and emphasized so strongly in the context of Jesus’ instructions concerning prayer at our own peril and loss. And the best and most powerful example of what pleases God in terms of prayer concerning the sin of those we love is Jesus’ prayer on the cross, where He WHO WAS TOTALLY BLAMELESS, in perfect love and humility prayed “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” (Luke 23:34) And then Stephen demonstrated the same genuine humility and loving concern for those who were stoning him when he prayed “Lord, do not hold this sin against them.” (Acts 7:59-60)

We can’t truly understand the above examples, and read all of the other prayers in the New Testament, without realizing that God is not pleased with prayers enumerating our spouses’ sin and asking Him to bring them to repentance; particularly when focusing on the sins of others (especially when we ourselves are so far from perfect) is by its very nature being self-righteous and judgmental according to Luke 6:38-42; not to mention quite contrary to what Jesus taught repeatedly. And we should be quite humbled by the knowledge that it is ONLY BY THE GRACE OF GOD that our situations with our spouses are not reversed. And since we know that God lifts up and gives grace to the humble, but OPPOSES the proud (1 Peter 5:5-6), walking humbly before our spouses and under the mighty hand of God is particularly important as we stand for marriage restoration. So when we lose sight of our own sin or somehow think that God is any less displeased with the sin and disobedience in our own lives, and feel justified to ask God to deal with the sin and disobedience of our spouses, we are in fact being prideful. And when we go before God with that attitude, He has to honor and uphold His own Word, which means He has to OPPOSE such prayers. So there’s no doubt that God is a lot more pleased when our prayers are more focused on bringing about the changes He desires in OUR HEARTS and in US as we learn to love, honor and respect our husbands and wives unconditionally. Every time I hear someone praying for God to deal with their spouse’s sin and asking Him to bring them to repentance or “give them a repentant heart,” I’m painfully reminded of The Parable of the Pharisee and the Tax Collector (Luke 18:9-14). So let’s not forget what Jesus told those who were fully justified by the law to stone the woman caught in adultery; He said “If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.”

But the wonder and beauty of praying for blessings, prosperity, joy, happiness and peace for our spouses and for the power of the Holy Spirit to move in their hearts, minds, spirits and lives, is that there’s absolutely no need to self-righteously and judgmentally focus on their need for repentance, because that is what happens when the Holy Spirit moves in all of us. Yet, when we truly understand and put our faith and trust in the power and promise of God’s Word, we know that covering our spouses with prayers for peace, blessings and prosperity is in effect asking that they be brought to repentance; because we know that none of those prayers can or will be answered until they are living in right relationship with both God and us. So our prayers should be those of spouses seeking and expecting God’s very best for our husbands and wives, as we’re instructed in His Word, and not those of proud, self-righteous, or judgmental spouses more focused on the destructive and sinful nature of our husbands and wives. We need to pray for them the same way we would if they were in fact already living with us as the spouses and parents God intended them to be and in right relationship with Him; because those are the prayers of a truly righteous person, which the Bible assures us are very powerful and effective and will avail much! The power of our faith filled prayers can then be used to speak the Word of God into existence in our spouses and marriages, especially since Psalm 103:20 says Praise the LORD, you his angels, you mighty ones who do his bidding, who obey his word. And since 2 Corinthians 10:6 makes it clear that God isn’t going to deal with our spouses’ disobedience until our obedience is made complete, it seems to make a lot more sense to spend our time in prayer asking the Lord to deal with OUR HEARTS and to bring US TO REPENTANCE.

And one of the MOST amazing and unexpected benefits of changing our prayers so that they bless and lift up our spouses, is that WE are the ones who are changed and benefit the most, because it’s a lot easier to feel love, admiration and respect for our husbands and wives when we are praying and speaking into being the positive things we are called to desire for them instead of continually identifying them and presenting them before the Lord as terrible sinners in need of repentance. So, I hope an pray that the next time we’re tempted to pray for God to deal with the sin and disobedience in our spouses lives, we will take our own inventory and ask the Lord to deal with and cleanse our own unrepentant hearts and the sin and disobedience in our lives instead. And as difficult as it might be for anyone who has not yet made it to that place in their walk and relationship with the Lord to understand and believe; I can assure you, as I’m sure many others can (an hopefully will) that it is indeed possible to love our spouses without being hurt and devastated by the disobedience in their lives. In other words, we REALLY CAN walk in the amazing love described in 1 Corinthians 13! and since we have no greater calling as Christians, especially in our roles as husbands and wives; when we learn to walk in God’s love and realize that it really does cover over the sin, wrong doing and offenses of those we love, we are the ones who are blessed and rewarded! That’s when we will experience joy (the strength of our salvation) and the peace of God that transcends all understanding as we confidently stand for the full and complete restoration of our marriages and families; because that’s when our prayers WILL change and instead of being hindered or opposed, they will be the powerful and effective prayers of righteous men and women and we will be greatly blessed and encouraged!

With each new marriage restoration we’re blessed to witness, comes even greater understanding of God’s ways and His unfailing faithfulness to fulfill and uphold His Word. And one thing God has demonstrated over and over again is that we will either remain victims of our circumstances or be victorious in Christ; but we can NOT be both!

While wallowing in self pity and reveling in our role as victims hinders marriage restoration for many reasons; one of the most serious is that we have obviously not forgiven those we feel have victimized us, and are thus not demonstrating the same grace and mercy God has so richly and lavishly bestowed upon us, which greatly displeases and even angers Him, as revealed in The Parable of the Unmerciful Servant )Matthew 18:21-34). And it’s definitely not heeding the warnings and instructions Jesus gave us in Luke 6:27-49 about loving and blessing those who mistreat us, treating others as we wish to be treated, dealing with our own sin before worrying about that of others, the kind of fruit we bear, and whether or not we’re building our homes on a solid foundation or sinking sand according to how well we DO what His Word teaches us to do.

And how unfortunate it is that the real significance of Luke 6:38 is often overlooked or misstated; because it is often referred to in terms of money (usually tithes and offerings), and yet that is not at all the context in which it was written. Luke 6:36-38 actually says Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful. “Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” And then the verses after that deal with removing the plank in our own eyes before trying to remove a speck in someone else’s eye. So “For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” is ACTUALLY referring to getting back what we give to others in terms of mercy, judgment, condemnation and forgiveness, and being treated and receiving according to how we treat and what we give to others.

When Jesus told us that we would have to pick up our cross daily to follow Him (Luke 9:23), He literally meant that we would have to crucify our flesh every day of our lives to experience the victorious and abundant life He came to give us. And that’s certainly what giving up our rightful identities as victims requires. It’s not denying or condoning the wrong and harm done to us, but it is making a CHOICE to be merciful, to forgive and to love as God commands us to love. And that means covering over ALL wrongs (Proverbs 10:12), covering over a multitude of sin (1 Peter 4:8), covering over an offense (Proverbs 17:9), and everything else the Lord teaches us about love in 1 Corinthians 13.

When we follow the instructions and heed the warnings of the above passages of scripture and seek a closer walk and relationship with Jesus Christ as we humble ourselves under the mighty hand of God, we can be absolutely assured that God will bless us and give us supernatural favor as HE lifts us up and as HE works to restore our marriages and families. As Proverbs 3:5-6 says, Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. And then Psalm 37:4-6 promises Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun. And we see that happen over and over again in the ministry, but one of the most powerful and awe inspiring testimonies we’ve all witness was recently summarized on the private website. And since MNO (member name omitted) certainly had way more than enough reason to feel victimized by her circumstances, and she refused to be anything less than victorious in Jesus Christ, I asked for and received permission to share her post here. So it is my sincerest hope and prayer that reading how the Lord has blessed MNO for her faithful obedience to DO what His Word teaches, will be a blessing and encourage everyone standing for marriage restoration to glorify the Lord by CHOOSING to be victorious in Christ instead of remaining a victim of circumstance. And when you do, you will certainly be blessed and encouraged! Now here’s MNO’s slightly edited post!

Have Faith even when Things Look Impossible

I’m writing this in response to Linda’s response to my post last night. When I read all of that, it reminds me so much that it was ONLY by God’s grace that I made it through those times. As she mentioned, when I came to FAMM just one year ago, I was in such a pit. My husband had just left a few months earlier, and when he left, I was left with the apartment AND all of the bills that came with it. But I had no source of income, no driver’s license, and I barely had a way to the grocery store each week to get food for my family. As a matter of fact, I relied on my mother to take me where I needed to go, but her car was uninspected and according to her mechanic, on the verge of total break down. But she faithfully took me to the grocery store about once a week, and was able to take me to Wal-Mart about once a month to get diapers. And it was always a bumpy ride, because the car shook like crazy whenever we went below 35 MPH! And when we passed a police car, she just prayed that he wouldn’t see her inspection sticker.

I was able to make a few dollars writing articles on the internet; about three to six dollars per article. At times, I was writing for four hours a day, and it was that money that allowed me to buy diapers and wipes for my two children. My oldest was potty trained, but still often needed a diaper. I remember telling him one day that he would just have to wait until I could get to the store because I didn’t have an extra diaper for him; I needed the few I had left for my youngest son, who was only one year old. Things just looked so scary at that time in my life.

I was pregnant, but I really wanted to work so I could keep my apartment, which I had already been told I was about to lose if a rent payment didn’t come in. But there were so many barriers because I didn’t have a drivers license, and there was no one to watch the children. In all of that, I kept hearing God tell me to be still and make my house my home. I didn’t understand it all, but I did what the Lord told me to do; I was still.

I remember my grandmother, and countless others telling me that I was going to end up on the streets, and they were all shocked that I had peace. I didn’t know if I would really end up on the streets, but I knew I was in God’s hands, and I KNEW that He told me to be still and make my house my home. So I KNEW that’s what I had to do.

By the time I came to FAMM, I had just taken my son’s piggy bank to the grocery store to cash it in at the Coin Star machine. I was entirely out of money; I had nothing left. By that time, my rent was close to two months behind, and I had run out of everything from trash bags to Q-Tips! And I had already gone to the court house and got an order for child support, but when we rely on the court system, we will find it fails us. Just because I had a paper stating I should receive a little over four hundred dollars a month certainly didn’t guarantee it, and it actually wasn’t until about 6 months after the court order that I finally got my first payment!

When I came to this ministry, and Linda asked about my finances, I finally told her everything. I was so strong on the outside, but with everything going on, I had to tell someone what I was going through who wouldn’t pile all of the blame on my husband. I was learning how to love SNO (spouse name omitted) unconditionally, and exposing all of the things that were going on inside of my home would have just made so many people even angrier with him. But Linda wanted to keep the focus on ME; she wanted to give me hope and help in those trying times, and she wanted to make sure that I developed skills that would ultimately lead to a more stable future for me and my kids.

She shared my circumstances with the men and women in the ministry and amazingly, there were so many who were willing to contribute financially to help me. One member sent me a huge package of toys that her children had grown out of; other members sent in money to pay for various things that came up, and other members contributed a steady amount of money for my incidentals. Members got together and month by month, were able to get my rent current! As I said, Linda wanted me to focus on me, and what I could do, so she asked me to seriously make efforts to get my drivers license and work on getting my GED, along with contacting countless agencies looking for some kind of housing assistance.

Some may think that I jumped up and shouted, “Sure, no problem!” But it wasn’t that easy. My mind was still thinking in the flesh. I thought Linda didn’t understand that I couldn’t drive; I didn’t know how, and I didn’t have ANYONE who was willing to teach me. Remember, my mother had an uninspected car, and that was pretty much all I had. My grandmother never let anyone drive her car, unless she trusted their driving, and she lived about an hour away! But Linda and other’s in the fellowship encouraged me to look outside of the box; maybe someone from church could help. Amazingly the was a man who offered to teach me how to drive for free, but he never followed through. And I really didn’t even see how having a license would help me; I didn’t have any money. So how could I ever afford a car; much less the gas and insurance or repairs and maintenance?

I felt like I was running into walls everywhere. ALL of the agencies I contacted literally said “You don’t qualify!” In order to receive assistance, I needed to work a certain amount of hours…or have a drivers license…or go to school at least part time. What ever the criteria; I wasn’t qualified!

And doors kept closing on almost everything I tried to do. I wanted to study for my GED, but the only class in my area was beyond walking distance, and did not offer childcare. I really felt like telling Linda, “I tried…I failed…I can’t!” But if you know her like I do, you know she has a way of pointing out when we are doing things on our own, instead of leaning on God.

Throughout all of that, I was still able to have the peace that the Lord had given me, and I just kept praying; almost hours a day. I started to develop and really learned how to walk WITH God. Those moments when my flesh said, “Give up.”, my spirit said “God has given you faith to move mountains, now move ‘em!” Every day that passed had new challenges, but as my character became molded into a woman of faith, I began to see pieces of the mountain chipping away.

And those were just the struggles for my own survival. I had many more with SNO. Usually every week something would lead me to tears; he was so cold and indifferent toward me and our children, even as I tried to change myself. It was hard, because my first response was still very much in the flesh, and I had to put out so many small fires daily that my patience was wearing thin. But God’s grace is sufficient for me! Thank you, Lord!

There was not one day that was easy; yet as time passed, I dealt with the next day better than the last. I refused to give up, and consistently dusted myself off when I fell, and never lost sight of God’s promises for my life, my marriage and for His provision. I got my learner’s permit and literally scheduled the test before I had even sat in a car! I was ultimately able, with the financial help of FAMM, to get a driving instructor, and use my grandmother’s car to take and pass my drivers test and get a 1996 Honda Accord in my name, and on my insurance! And it doesn’t stop there; God covered my housing too! Just as the ministry practically ran out of funds to continue paying for my apartment and incidentals, I received a phone call from a local agency asking if I still wanted to apply for their housing program. And even more amazing, the only two openings they had were filled by me and my mother! She is in apartment B, and I am in apartment C!!

And one week before I signed the lease, I filled out a section 8 application for the list, which had just opened in my county, and was put on the list immediately. Today, just a few months later, I have a letter asking me to pick up my vouchers on July 30th!

Through my own research, I tracked down a government program that allowed me to study from home for my GED for free! But I soon found out that I was more educated than I realized. I decided to take the pre-test and scored way above average, and will be taking the exam in about 1 month!

And a few weeks after I moved in here, I was able to claim the restoration of my marriage! My husband’s heart was completely transformed, and he realized that he wants to be home. He no longer sees himself with the NCP (non-covenant person), but rather with me, his wife. And because God has given me such strong faith, I am able to relax while he still lives there, because I know his heart is home. There is a saying; “Home is where the heart is.” And with that said, SNO is home in his heart!

I should also mention that my current landlords stipulated that SNO can not live here. As a matter of fact, they were considering not even allowing him on the premises, but praise the Lord, that was not included or mentioned when I signed the lease. My section 8 housing will be much more flexible, and he will be welcomed on the property without question! So as you can see, god is paving the way for SNO to come home, by moving me out of this apartment, even though I just moved in a few months ago!

For those who have helped, I have to say it again, “THANK YOU!” Just writing this has rekindled all of those feelings of the absolute awe I had when I saw God touching your hearts to help me as you did. I have said it so many times; God could have put a pile of money on my table with just a word. He really could, but He chooses to use us as his instruments. So whether giving, ministering, encouraging or just being a listening ear, He uses us! It’s the same with our marriages; He could have changed our marriages with a snap of His finger! He could bring our spouses home the second they leave, but He uses our circumstances and other people, and in His perfect tim