“Why would God have me stand for my marriage when I was responsible for many of the problems in the first place?” “I love my wife (husband) with all my heart, but maybe I deserve to be where I am.” “I didn’t even know many of the scriptures; let alone the ones about marriage and divorce.” “I am too weak; there is no way I can possibly save my marriage.” “Who am I to even think God would help me?” “I am so inadequate for God to ask me or use me to do anything for Him.” Sound familiar? Probably. But they are all questions and statements that we SHOULD NO LONGER be entertaining! Not only do we have the right to want our marriages healed, but God’s Word tells us we must stand for the restoration of our marriages.)

Having made it to the FAM site, we have probably already come to the realization that God has indeed chosen us to stand for our marriages and to carry out a very important task for His glory. And most of us have many other signs from God confirming that He wants us to stand for our marriages as well. Maybe we have met couples who have had their marriages restored; maybe our ministers support and encourage our stand; or it might simply be that God has spoken to us through His Word, the Bible.

So as we move forward in our journey of marriage restoration, I would like to remind us of the story of Gideon. Although his situation did not involve a hurting marriage, he was specifically asked to do something by God, and he too questioned why God would choose him with his unlikely ability to do what was asked. So, if we know God has called us to stand for our marriages and we still question if we have what it takes to do it, we can certainly learn from Gideon.

Well, first of all, Gideon was not the wisest, strongest, smartest or most spiritual person on earth. But he was resourceful, and dedicated to his family and provided for them well. Like us, he was in most aspects, just another “normal” person.

And Gideon, like many of us, questioned God about being asked to do something so important and so challenging. Why him? He questioned why God would come to him with such a request, and he didn’t try to hide his feelings of inadequacy for the assignment. I don’t know about you, but I have entertained the same thoughts; what do I have that makes God think I can do this? I failed in my marriage already; why does He think it can be “fixed” now? Fortunately, FAM provides plenty of information and encouragement as to why God wants our marriages restored and the importance of our obedience to God’s Word. So what are we to do? What did Gideon do? Once Gideon was convinced that God had called him, he obeyed with zest, resourcefulness and speed. He dedicated himself to being obedient to God and by faith, he trusted God’s plan.

Since we can probably relate to Gideon’s weakness, and possibly still even question God’s call to us, we can learn from him and strengthen our willingness and commitment to serve God as we stand for the full and complete restoration of our marriages. Gideon was a man who obeyed God by giving his attention to the task at hand. So like him, we must give our full attention to believing God will prepare us for tomorrow when tomorrow comes, in restoring our marriages and in every other aspect of our lives. God will release His supernatural power, as we, in faith, trust Him and His promises. And when we are at our weakest, God WILL BE shown to be His strongest!

Did Gideon win the victory against the Midianites with a huge, powerful army? Did Gideon win the victory because of his intelligence and superior strategic war knowledge? Did Gideon have the background to lead an army? No, God was in charge and He had a plan and He PROMISED Gideon victory. Gideon had no idea how they would defeat the Midianites; because it looked impossible in human terms and based on human effort to defeat an army of 130,000 with only a few thousand men. And then, as if the odds were not already overwhelming as they were, God told Gideon to let some soldiers go; not once, but even cutting the number of soldiers a second time until only 300 were left. An army of three hundred soldiers was going up against an army of one hundred, thirty thousand! Don’t those odds look just about as impossible as the odds of marriage restoration looks to us?

But God explains His reasons for making the odds seem so impossible in Judges 7:2 (NLT), which says The Lord said to Gideon, “You have too many warriors with you. If I let all of you fight the Midianites, the Israelites will boast to me that they saved themselves by their own strength. So God wants the glory and honor. God wants people to know that through Him all things are possible.

Gideon’s army went on to defeat the Midianites - through the power and plan of God; and ALL Gideon was required to do was to obey his Heavenly Father. That is ALL we are called to do; obey and trust in the Lord.

We will not and CAN NOT restore our marriages through anything we do. And most of us have already exhausted all of our own efforts anyway; but we will not and CAN NOT restore our marriages without the power of God. God wants us to come to Him, to read and believe His Word, and to trust Him as we obey His Word. He is waiting for us to lay it all down at His feet; giving it all to Him, and letting Him heal and restore our marriages so we can glorify and honor Him with our testimonies; not by what we did but because of what our mighty, powerful, loving God has done.

Judges 7 (NLT)
Gideon Defeats the Midianites
1 So Jerub-baal (that is, Gideon) and his army got up early and went as far as the spring of Harod. The armies of Midian were camped north of them in the valley near the hill of Moreh.
2 The Lord said to Gideon, “You have too many warriors with you. If I let all of you fight the Midianites, the Israelites will boast to me that they saved themselves by their own strength.
3 Therefore, tell the people, ‘Whoever is timid or afraid may leave this mountain[a] and go home.’” So 22,000 of them went home, leaving only 10,000 who were willing to fight.
4 But the Lord told Gideon, “There are still too many! Bring them down to the spring, and I will test them to determine who will go with you and who will not.”
5 When Gideon took his warriors down to the water, the Lord told him, “Divide the men into two groups. In one group put all those who cup water in their hands and lap it up with their tongues like dogs. In the other group put all those who kneel down and drink with their mouths in the stream.”
6 Only 300 of the men drank from their hands. All the others got down on their knees and drank with their mouths in the stream.
7 The Lord told Gideon, “With these 300 men I will rescue you and give you victory over the Midianites. Send all the others home.”
8 So Gideon collected the provisions and rams’ horns of the other warriors and sent them home. But he kept the 300 men with him. The Midianite camp was in the valley just below Gideon.
9 That night the Lord said, “Get up! Go down into the Midianite camp, for I have given you victory over them!
10 But if you are afraid to attack, go down to the camp with your servant Purah.
11 Listen to what the Midianites are saying, and you will be greatly encouraged. Then you will be eager to attack.” So Gideon took Purah and went down to the edge of the enemy camp.
12 The armies of Midian, Amalek, and the people of the east had settled in the valley like a swarm of locusts. Their camels were like grains of sand on the seashore—too many to count!
13 Gideon crept up just as a man was telling his companion about a dream. The man said, “I had this dream, and in my dream a loaf of barley bread came tumbling down into the Midianite camp. It hit a tent, turned it over, and knocked it flat!”
14 His companion answered, “Your dream can mean only one thing—God has given Gideon son of Joash, the Israelite, victory over Midian and all its allies!”
15 When Gideon heard the dream and its interpretation, he bowed in worship before the Lord.[b] Then he returned to the Israelite camp and shouted, “Get up! For the Lord has given you victory over the Midianite hordes!”
16 He divided the 300 men into three groups and gave each man a ram’s horn and a clay jar with a torch in it.
17 Then he said to them, “Keep your eyes on me. When I come to the edge of the camp, do just as I do.
18 As soon as I and those with me blow the rams’ horns, blow your horns, too, all around the entire camp, and shout, ‘For the Lord and for Gideon!’”
19 It was just after midnight,[c] after the changing of the guard, when Gideon and the 100 men with him reached the edge of the Midianite camp. Suddenly, they blew the rams’ horns and broke their clay jars.
20 Then all three groups blew their horns and broke their jars. They held the blazing torches in their left hands and the horns in their right hands, and they all shouted, “A sword for the Lord and for Gideon!”
21 Each man stood at his position around the camp and watched as all the Midianites rushed around in a panic, shouting as they ran to escape.
22 When the 300 Israelites blew their rams’ horns, the Lord caused the warriors in the camp to fight against each other with their swords. Those who were not killed fled to places as far away as Beth-shittah near Zererah and to the border of Abel-meholah near Tabbath.
23 Then Gideon sent for the warriors of Naphtali, Asher, and Manasseh, who joined in chasing the army of Midian.
24 Gideon also sent messengers throughout the hill country of Ephraim, saying, “Come down to attack the Midianites. Cut them off at the shallow crossings of the Jordan River at Beth-barah.” So all the men of Ephraim did as they were told.
25 They captured Oreb and Zeeb, the two Midianite commanders, killing Oreb at the rock of Oreb, and Zeeb at the winepress of Zeeb. And they continued to chase the Midianites. Afterward the Israelites brought the heads of Oreb and Zeeb to Gideon, who was by the Jordan River.

In the past couple of weeks, several FAM Fellowship members have had to sign legal documents agreeing to the dissolution of their marriages or had a divorce finalized. And while it’s been a very trying time, as He always does, the Lord has brought new insight and understanding. First, we all have a difficult time acknowledging that our marriages are dead; but when a spouse is so unhappy that they want a divorce or look elsewhere for happiness; the marriage IS dead. And the longer we take to acknowledge that, the longer we will wait to see the restoration we want. 1 Corinthians 7:10-11 says To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband.
But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife. But then 1 Corinthians 7:15 says But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace.

So there’s NO doubt God doesn’t want separation or divorce, but in His infinite wisdom, God tells us exactly what to do when our spouses DO leave, and that is to LET THEM GO! Yet, that is probably the most difficult part of standing for marriage restoration, because in human terms, we just can’t begin to make sense of that. How can God ask us to stand for our marriages and then tell us to let our spouses walk right out of our lives and into God alone knows what? Well, the answer is pretty simple really. God wants us to let them go, so HE can begin to work in their hearts and in their circumstances, because He knows that as long as we hang onto them, it will hinder that process and could keep it from ever happening. God knows that without a burial, there can’t be a resurrection, so He’s just telling us to bury our dead marriages so HE can resurrect them and then all of the glory will be His!

In our own family in just the past two weeks, we have seen totally bazaar things happen around signing divorce papers and having a divorce go through, and none of it sounds like couples that are indeed getting divorced or who will remain divorced very long! One of our ladies even put it this way; she said that when she signed the papers she had dreaded signing for so log, because she felt it would be like signing a death certificate; she finally realized that instead it was a lot more like signing a birth certificate! Immediately after signing the divorce papers, her husband asked her out for a date and ended up staying at her house for the next four days; and they have been separated for three years! And another one of our ladies received a dozen roses from her husband and he kissed her for the first time in ages…just a matter of days AFTER their divorce was final!!! And yet another of our ladies’ husband felt free to introduce his children to the NCP after the final papers were signed; only to discover how strongly they objected to what he was doing, which came as quite a surprise to him and caused him great concern, and he seems to be reconsidering for the first time, or at least giving more realistic thought to what he’s doing. And the following was posted on the men’s site by one of our men who is in the final stages of his wife’s divorce process. When we truly put all of our hope and expectation in the Lord, we have no reason to fear divorce papers or even a divorce, because when something is dead and buried, the only thing left that glorifies Jesus Christ is resurrection! So be blessed and encouraged and trust God no matter what you face. And here’s an awesome message of hope and encouragement from one of our FAM Fellowship member who finally gets it, and whom I thank for allowing me to share his testimony here:

“This morning, I found out that my wife has submitted the “final” papers for the divorce she seeks. The praise is that “it doesn’t matter” and I really do believe that!! This past weekend, God really brought me to a new spiritual level, so I knew He was preparing me for something. He revealed hindrances to my spiritual growth and I was able to repent and turn even more over to Him.

First of all, I was still being consumed with selfishness. (That hurts! But the freedom it brought is wonderful!) I have dreaded hearing “We can be “friends” now.” I didn’t want to be friends; I wanted to be spouses. (Like a divorce is going to end that covenant!) I wanted love; not friendship. I wanted her to be in love with me. Then of course, God pointed out to me that we became friends in the first place and then grew to love each other. He asked me why I thought He was not going to have that happen again. Well, I had no answer as usual.

The next message God had for me was that my marriage is dead! Boy, did I shed some tears over that one. Fortunately, He did not just reveal that and leave me. I realized that I was hanging on to a marriage that not even I wanted. Why would I want a marriage that had such severe strife that my wife would ask for a divorce? It had become unhealthy for both of us. What kept me clinging to it was the devil telling me that a horrible marriage was better than NO marriage. And I thought that was a valid reason. Again, I was not trusting God for His promise to restore our covenant relationship. To us humans, when something is dead, it is gone, discarded and never to be again. What God had been telling me all along was that He was planning a new, incredible marriage way beyond what either of us could imagine; a marriage with Him at the center is what He will resurrect.

What a lack of faith and trust in God! I was not being the obedient person I sure thought I was. Thank God He knows I am trying as hard as I can, and He poured out His grace and mercy on me.

How awesome God is in getting us ready for what is coming our way. Nothing goes without His knowing and His timing. I would have never imagined a few short months ago that I would be praising and glorifying God when I got the dreaded news! I do trust and believe God is working in my wife’s heart and He will bring about complete restoration of our covenant marriage! He keeps His promises and always completes what He starts.

The Burns’ messages this past week also led me to pray in accordance with what God was preparing me for. I told Linda I was oozing with the fruits of the spirit; God had my emotions covered, and I knew His will and purpose for me. He allowed me discernment, insight and vision, and had brought me to a higher level of spiritual maturity. No more of Satan bouncing me around like a ping pong ball. He has been whacked!

Just wanted to share the Burns’ messages that helped me again:

I will make you aware of hindering forces that have been sent against you to keep you from moving in a divine flow. Set yourselves to see spiritually that which has held you back and remember that I have given you authority to overcome everything that would impede or block you from achieving My will and purposes for you. Be strong and move through these obstructions by the power of My Spirit, says the Lord.

Watch for signs of an attack from the enemy that will cause you to experience frustration and irritation. Refuse to allow these emotions to rule. Make the decision and carry out the choice to exhibit the fruit of the Spirit (Galations 5:22-23) in making every moment holy and pristine. Recognize that this intrusion from the devil is for the purpose of separating you from Me, says the Lord, for you cannot maintain fellowship with Me when you take a position that is against My word and My nature

Now is a time when you can yield to My Spirit and develop greater discernment, insight and vision. Make the most of the opportunities that present themselves to gain understanding and revelation of My work in your life to bring you to a higher level of spiritual maturity. These opportunities will reveal places where fear and insecurity have kept you from the liberty of knowing who you are in Me, says the Lord. Galatians 5:1 Stand fast therefore in the liberty by which Christ has made us free, and do not be entangled again with a yoke of bondage.

(Editor’s Note: The Small Straws messages can be accessed at this link, where you can also sign up to receive them by email.)

I just finished reading a book by Joyce Meyer, The Power of Simple Prayer, and it’s another excellent book. So I want to share the section about praying expectantly, because I found it Particularly powerful, especially since God has really been stressing the importance of prayer to me in the past few days.

Most of us are demonstrating faith by praying consistently, but are we REALLY expecting God to answer our prayers? Well, my answer is yes; most of the time…until I begin doubting! And that is NOT what God calls us to do!! God intends for us to be extravagant in our expectations and to express them in our prayers; fully expecting Him to do great things in the earth and in our lives. And that is what WILL happen when our prayers are filled with God-given expectations, God-given desires, and God-given visions; prayers that are prayed in faith from a pure heart.

Joyce states that if we want to see the power of God released in our lives, we need to have attitudes that are pleasing to Him. We need to have positive expectations instead of negative ones. Our basic approach to life needs to align with faith and hope and good expectations, because the Bible says that without faith it is impossible to please God (Hebrews 11:6) and that hope will never disappoint us (Romans5:5).

She continues by saying there is nothing negative about God; there is nothing in Him or in His actions that will ever disappoint us; everything He does is for our good, so that’s what we need to expect as we pray. WE should not pray and then wonder if God will do anything at all; instead we should pray expecting God to do even more than we have asked or dreamed. And she says we should confidently expect big things from God. Ephesians 3:20 (AMP) says Now to Him Who, by (in consequence of) the [action of His] power that is at work within us, is able to [carry out His purpose and] do superabundantly, far over and above all that we [dare] ask or think [infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts, hopes, or dreams]–

Now that is pretty amazing and should give us the confidence we need to pray expectantly. The passage also states that it comes from the power within us, which is the power of God - and it comes from simple, believing prayers.

When we have power, we are able to pray expectantly, but at the same time, expectancy carries its own power; the power of hope, and the power of faith. God’s power is released when we pray in faith, trusting and believing Him, because faith pleases God. So expectancy is an important attribute of faith. Faith reaches out into the spirit realm and expects God’s supernatural power to show up and do what no person on earth can do. Doubt, on the other hand, is afraid nothing good will happen; it does not please God and is not something He tends to bless. We are powerless when we live with doubt, disappointment, and lack of confidence in God.

Father God, help us to come to You with confidence and expectancy. Let us bring our faith and hope to You and release Your power in our lives. Lord, our trust and belief in You are tremendous. We know You are working in our marriages and that healing has already taken place in the spiritual realm and will soon manifest here in Your Kingdom on earth. Help us to be patient, yet, persistent in our prayers. God, we know that You love to answer our prayers and bless us and You are anxiously waiting for us to bring them to You. Help us to be obedient in our daily living and in our stand for the restoration and healing of our marriages. You are gracious and awesome, Lord, and we glorify and honor You with praise from our hearts. In Your Precious Son’s Name, Amen

Hebrews 11:6 (NLT)
And it is impossible to please God without faith. Anyone who wants to come to him must believe that God exists and that he rewards those who sincerely seek him.

Romans 5:5 (NLT)
And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.