God is so awesome! When I wrote yesterday’s post, I had no idea Joyce Meyer would begin such a powerful series of messages about “Keeping God First” on her TV broadcast today! But that just goes to prove once again the Lord’s faithfulness to confirm the word He wants us to get!

Based on Matthew 6:33 (NKJV), there’s no doubt that we’re the ones who benefit the most when we put the Lord first in our lives, because it says But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. And since many of the passages of scripture we depend on as we stand for marriage restoration tell us to trust in the Lord with all our hearts, rely on Him, acknowledge Him in ALL our ways, and commit ourselves to HIS ways, It’s very important to consider how well we’re doing according to what Jesus said about God’s commandments in Matthew 22:36-40, which says “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” Jesus replied: ” ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” So if we’re NOT putting the Lord first in our lives, we’re not committing ourselves to His way and we’re not acknowledging Him in all our ways, much less trusting and relying on Him. As Joyce says in the following messages, it takes discipline in the beginning to do the things necessary to put the Lord first in every area of our lives, but when we do, we’ll NEVER regret it and before long we can’t imagine how we ever got along without it! And we should remember that our God is indeed a jealous God; in fact, according to Exodus 34:14, God’s Name Is Jealous! However, the choice is ours to make, as His word tells us in Deuteronomy 30:19-20, which says This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the LORD your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the LORD is your life, and he will give you many years in the land he swore to give to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.

So please MAKE the time to listen to Keeping God First - Part I and Keeping God First - Part II. They are both excellent messages and very important to us as we stand for the restoration of our marriages and consider what place we’re giving God in our lives.

One of the saddest aspects of marriage restoration ministry is seeing so much awesome human potential for the furtherance of God’s kingdom wasted, because so many “standers” become so preoccupied with the restoration of their marriages that they end up doing little or NOTHING to use the gifts and talents God has blessed them with for the praise and glory of Jesus. In fact, it’s entirely possible that such preoccupation could actually hinder the marriage restoration they’re so desperate for, based on what Jesus told us in Matthew 25, particularly based on The Parable of the Talents (verses 14 to 30), which says:

“Again, it will be like a man going on a journey, who called his servants and entrusted his property to them. To one he gave five talents of money, to another two talents, and to another one talent, each according to his ability. Then he went on his journey.
The man who had received the five talents went at once and put his money to work and gained five more. So also, the one with the two talents gained two more. But the man who had received the one talent went off, dug a hole in the ground and hid his master’s money.
“After a long time the master of those servants returned and settled accounts with them. The man who had received the five talents brought the other five. ‘Master,’ he said, ‘you entrusted me with five talents. See, I have gained five more.’ “His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!’
“The man with the two talents also came.’Master,’ he said, ‘you entrusted me with two talents; see, I have gained two more.’ “His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!’
“Then the man who had received the one talent came.’Master,’ he said, ‘I knew that you are a hard man, harvesting where you have not sown and gathering where you have not scattered seed. So I was afraid and went out and hid your talent in the ground. See, here is what belongs to you.’ “His master replied, ‘You wicked, lazy servant! So you knew that I harvest where I have not sown and gather where I have not scattered seed? Well then, you should have put my money on deposit with the bankers, so that when I returned I would have received it back with interest. “‘Take the talent from him and give it to the one who has the ten talents. For everyone who has will be given more, and he will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken from him. And throw that worthless servant outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’

Since Jesus used this parable to describe the kingdom of God, it must be important for us to understand as we strive to learn how things work in accordance with His will and word. And reading it leaves NO doubt that when we use the gifts, talents and ability the Lord blesses us with for the purpose and glory of His kingdom, He will bless us with even more. On the other hand, it’s just as clear that when we don’t use the gifts, talents and ability He’s blessed us with for His purpose and glory, He will take even that away from us. So it’s very important for us not to become so preoccupied with the restoration of our marriages that we lose sight of the work the Lord is calling us to do NOW! And He does have work for us to do every day of our lives. He didn’t die on the cross just to give us fire insurance, and when we got saved and made Him LORD of our lives, it wasn’t just so we could “add a little Jesus” to our lives. Many of us now realize and understand that it was BECAUSE we put our husbands and marriages before the Lord that we ended up in the situations we find ourselves in today. But do we also recognize that we’re doing the same thing now? Only this time, it’s the restoration of our marriages that we’ve allowed to take first place and priority in our lives. That’s just about all we think about, all we talk about, and most of what we pray about, which puts us in danger of James 4:3 being applied to our prayers, because it says When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.

I am persuaded that the ones who experience the restoration of their marriages in the end are those who come to understand that “it is NOT about us!” We are not here for any other purpose than to bring praise and glory to Jesus Christ, as Ephesians 1 makes clear. And when we understand that and start living our lives with that in mind; that’s when we will see the power of God move in our lives like never before. When we reach a point in the process of standing for marriage restoration that we become so concerned and burdened for the deliverance and salvation of our husbands that our own desire to have them back pales in comparison, our focus changes and we’re finally able to give the Lord His rightful place in our lives. I wonder how many of us could honestly say that we’d be willing to forfeit our dream of marriage restoration if that was necessary for the salvation of our husbands. My heart breaks for the women who can’t stop looking at what their husbands did/do wrong, and seeing themselves as innocent victims, long enough to acknowledge their own shortcomings and the glorious power of God, because, as long as we’re so focused on everything Satan intends to steal, kill and destroy our marriages, our husbands and our families, we’ll never experience the Lord’s power to work it all together for our good, and for HIS praise and glory.

Unfortunately, it’s unlikely that many of us could honestly say we focus nearly as much time, thought and attention on what pleases the Lord, what He wants, what He thinks, how He feels and what He’s doing as we do our husbands, which says an awful lot about our priorities. And too often, when we do give time, thought and attention to the Lord, much of it is focused on or motivated by our desire for the restoration of our marriages. So it’s important to make an assessment of our relationship with the Lord and what we’re doing with the gifts, talents and abilities He’s blessed us with and how we’re using them, or not using them, for His praise and glory and for the furtherance of His kingdom. After all, His promise to give us the desires of our hearts requires us to “delight” in Him, as we see in Psalm 37:4, which says Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. Since we all want the desires of our hearts, all we have to do is start delighting ourselves in the Lord, and when we do that, we won’t be able to avoid using the gifts and talents He gives us, because our hearts will genuinely desire to bring Him praise and glory!

The following poem is something the Lord put on my heart this morning as He gave me a burden for someone very dear to me who is going through a difficult time in his life right now. And it’s certainly something all of us can relate to as we stand for marriage restoration, because we’ve all experienced similar moments of despair and hopelessness. But Jesus paid a precious price and covered the cost to give us victory over every weapon Satan hopes will destroy us. So it’s up to us to determine whether or not Jesus paid the cost in vain, and the only way to make sure He didn’t is to make the most of EVERYTHING He died to give us! Be blessed and encouraged!

When darkness is all around,
And when all hope has hit the ground;
When my life is so filled with despair,
And I don’t even care;
When there’s so much to worry about,
And there seems no way out;
When I have no reason to smile,
And feel I can’t go another mile;
When nothing makes any sense to me,
And a better future I just can’t see;
When I think of what lies ahead,
And would rather be dead;
When the devil has convinced me of all I’ve lost,
It’s my Jesus who says “But I paid the cost.”

He says “I paid the cost and penalty for your sins.”:
“This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins.“ Matthew 26:28

He says “I paid the cost for your life.”:
“For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 6:23

He says “I paid the cost to give you hope and a future.”:
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

He says “I paid the cost to renew your strength.”:
“but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” Isaiah 40:31

He says “I paid the cost to give you escape from every temptation.”:
“No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.” 1 Corinthians 10:13 (NKJV)

He says “I paid the cost to carry your burdens.”:
“Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall.” Psalm 55:22

He says “I paid the cost to be your light in this dark world.”:
“When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”” John 8:12

The following message and prayer is today’s prayer from WIN, which sends daily prayers throughout the world by email. And since this is one all of us can relate to and appreciate as we stand for the restoration of our marriages and the salvation of our spouses, I wanted to share it here. So be blessed!

God Morning/Afternoon to each of you.
This morning our prayer will target the spirit of offense.
Are you offended or do you know someone who is?
Wait, before you answer, I want you to think about it. Have you put up barriers or walls of separation? Have you withdrawn from an individual that maybe said something or did something to you that you didn’t like. If so, have you spoken to that individual about it? These are some questions that I had to recently ask myself. After answering them, I realized that I was offended. I know that I am not the only person who has dealt with the spirit of offense.
I looked up the definition of offense in my Biblical dictionary. It states- to transgress moral or divine law; cause difficulty, discomfort or injury. After reading that definition, the question also arises within me, “What about the many ways that we offend Christ?” I was floored. I immediately felt the need to repent. So often, we hold things against individuals who have offended us. But what if Christ held against us those times that we have offended him?

Father, in the name that is above every name, Jesus Christ, I come to You asking for forgiveness. Forgive me for the times that I have offended others and You through my words or actions.
I know that You will never prompt me to withdraw or separate myself from Your will or Your people.
I need You to help me in those moments when I feel overwhelmed and overshadowed by the words or actions of others.
I am beginning to realize that offenses will sometimes cause me to want to withdraw and become separated from those who are my brothers and sisters in Christ.
Yes, I realize that there are some actions of people that I must refuse to be a part of because I am a Christian. However, I must always be careful to become sensitive to the promptings of the Holy Spirit to pray so that I will not allow the spirit of offense to withdraw me from Your will. Ultimately, the spirit of offense will result in me harboring unforgiveness in my heart.
Lord, Your Word provides the pattern for my life. Help me to gain an understanding of the way to deal with people who have offended me.
Help me to love as You have loved me. Yes, it is true that the enemy sometimes work through people. But help me to realize that the weapons of our warfare are not carnal. Therefore, I must target those demonic attacks in the spiritual realm by using the Word of God which is my defense.
Heavenly Father, You are our refuge and our rock. You are in control of everything that happens in my life. I am Your servant, called by Your name. I will not let anything separate me from Your love or Your will for my life. Your Word declares that a brother offended is harder to win than a strong city. You have said woe unto them through which offense come. Thank You for cleansing and forgiving me of the guilt of the spirit of offense. I ask the Holy Spirit to search out and bring to light any schemes of darkness that have directed me so that I will not be entrapped or snared anymore by the spirit of offense. Satan is rebuked in the authority of the name of Jesus Christ off of my life and the lives of those who I am in contact with. I declare and proclaim that his works in my life is destroyed. Jesus has triumphed over him and His resurrection sealed his fate. Because Christ lives in me, I am now living a life triumph over satan in the strength of Jesus’ name. His efforts to offend, afflict, or deceive me are null and void. He will not rob me of the love, joy and fruit of my salvation. Through the power of the blood of Jesus, all powers of darkness assigned to me, sent to me, or surrounding me are commanded to leave.
Lord Jesus, You are my shield and my protector (Ps 97:10, Jn 17:15; 2 Thes 3:3) You are El Elyon, the Most High God, sovereign Lord of all things, visible and invisible. The presence of Your Spirit in my life redeems me from any form of destruction.
May Your glory follow me as a rear guard (Isaiah 58:8).
Thank You for driving the enemy away (Dt 33:27).
Your holy angels are assigned to my life to protect and deliver me from danger (Ps 34:7; 91:9-11).
Lord, as I close this prayer, I bring to You my burden for souls to be saved. I claim that those who are receiving this e-mail that are not saved or perhaps know of others who are not saved will know that it is Your desire that none perish. I pray that people will be stirred with a desire to seek salvation. Soften the hearts of any who resists the truth and plant seeds of the Holy Word into their minds and hearts. I pray that the will of those persons who refuse to come after You will be destroyed. Make them desperate for You. Bring them to You and destroy the power of satan in the lives of those who are practicing sin. Subdue the voice of the enemy. I pray that strongholds will be destroyed in the lives of those who are unsaved. Holy Spirit, move in Your power to separate away from them the powers and influences of unclean spirits. Unbelief is bound in the name of Jesus. I declare that they will hear the Word of the Lord and obey You.
We will not give in or stop praying for those who have refused to live a life pleasing to You. We will continue to call them out of darkness into Your light and we will see results. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.
Sharon R. Kornegay
World Intercessory Network
www.micahstampley.org/?friend=624
Checkout Micah Stampley!

I was recently honored by a request from the World Intercessory Network to be one of their prayer warriors, but I feel unable to make that kind of additional time commitment right now. However, I did agree to help out once in awhile, which I was asked to do today. So the following prayer will go out by email worldwide later today and I’d appreciate your prayers that it will be a blessing to someone in particular, and, of course, to all of you as well!

Our MOST AWESOME Heavenly Father…

With hearts full of praise and thanksgiving, we come before Your throne confessing our love and adoration for You, for You are great and mighty and worthy to be praised! Your arm is endued with power; Your hand is strong, Your right hand exalted. Righteousness and justice are the foundation of Your throne; and Your enduring and everlasting love and faithfulness always go before You.
When we acclaim You, and walk in the light of Your presence, we are blessed. And when we call unto You, You answer us and show us great and unsearchable things we do not know. When we trust in You with all our hearts, and lean not on our own understanding, and acknowledge You in all our ways, You make our paths straight. When we delight in You, You give us the desires of our hearts. And when we commit ourselves to Your way and trust in You, You make our righteousness shine like the dawn and the justice of our cause like the noon day sun! Yes, Lord, You are indeed great and mighty and worthy to be praised!

And we thank You for the very extravagant gift of Your Son, Jesus Christ, the very precious bread of life; that whoever comes to Him will NEVER go hungry and that whoever believes in Him will NEVER be thirsty. Thank You for the sacrifice of His precious atoning blood for the remission of our sins, to purify us from all unrighteousness and to cleanse our consciences so that we can serve You, the one and only living God! Thank You for sending Him to heal our broken hearts, to bind up our wounds and to set the captives free. And since Satan comes only to steal, kill and destroy, we thank You that Jesus came to give us eternal life, and life more abundant. And thank You for giving us the keys of the kingdom of heaven and the assurance that what we bind on earth is bound in heaven and what we loose on earth is loosed in heaven.

So in the name of Jesus Christ, the Son of the Living God, we bind the power and conviction of Your word and the Holy Spirit to everyone reading this prayer, as well as to our friends, family and loved ones. And we send forth the sword of Your word to cut away anything ungodly or displeasing in our lives, and thank You for the power of the Holy Spirit to deliver and protect us from all harm and evil and to draw each of us into right relationship with You. And we loose your mighty power to destroy all strongholds and all manner of sin or bondage now operating in our lives. Thank You for turning stony hearts into hearts of flesh and for turning the hearts of broken relationships to healing and restoration. Thank you for defending and protecting the covenant of our marriages, Lord, and for blessing troubled marriages with restoration and reconciliation. Thank you that no weapon fashioned against us will prosper, and that the gates of hell cannot prevail against us, because the weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. So we demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

May our work always be produced by faith, our labor prompted by love, and our endurance inspired by hope in our Lord Jesus Christ. Bless us with the wisdom, grace and strength needed to live our lives so others always see You in us. May we be yielded vessels, living in faith and obedience for Your praise, honor and glory. And teach us to walk humbly as we seek peace and forgive others as You forgive us. Bless us with good health, righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. Thank You for loving us so unconditionally, Lord, and for Your infinite mercy and grace! In the most precious and powerful name of Jesus Christ, we pray and give thanks! Amen.

To anyone who has not already made Jesus the Lord of your life, who might feel the Holy Spirit prompting you to do so right now, please say the following prayer:

Dear Lord, I know I’m a sinner and that the wages for my sin is death. But I also know that Jesus came to set me free from that death penalty by dying on the cross for the forgiveness of my sins. And then He rose again three days later and is with You in heaven right now. Jesus please come into my heart and be the Lord of my life. Cleanse me of all unrighteousness and forgive me of all of my sins, because from now on I’m Yours…I’m a Christian. Thank You, Jesus. Amen.

If you just prayed that prayer and meant it in your heart, you are now a “born again Christian” and it’s the best move you’ll ever make! But you need to tell someone about the decision you made, because Jesus said if we deny Him before men, He will deny us before His Father. So you can call me at 850-391-4073 or contact any of the WIN prayer warriors to help and encourage you as you begin the most awesome experience of your life! And welcome to the family and may the Lord bless and keep you and yours.

In His Love, Linda Wattu

The more we study and understand the awesome power of the spoken word, the more concerned we should be that so few Christians understand it, because our lives truly reflect the very words we speak, and some of us are speaking some pretty rotten things into being as we stand for the restoration of our marriages. Joyce Meyer’s TV broadcast today was totally awesome, so I hope listening to it will help all of us understand how vitally important this message is to us as we stand for marriage restoration and the salvation of our husbands. While the Bible is filled with verses telling us how significant and powerful the spoken word is, the following verses are just a few to consider as we examine the connection between what we believe in our hearts, the words we speak and the reality of our lives:

Romans 4:17
As it is written: “I have made you a father of many nations.” He is our father in the sight of God, in whom he believed—he God who gives life to the dead and calls things that are not as though they were.

Jeremiah 23:28
Let the prophet who has a dream tell his dream, but let the one who has my word speak it faithfully. For what has straw to do with grain?” declares the LORD.

John 11:40
Then Jesus said, “Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?”

Luke 6:45
The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks.

Proverbs 18:7 (NKJV)
For as he thinks in his heart, so is he. “ Eat and drink!” he says to you, But his heart is not with you.

Proverbs 4:23 (AMP)
Keep and guard your heart with all vigilance and above all that you guard, for out of it flow the springs of life.

Hopefully listening to Joyce’s message will inspire all of us to seek a better understanding of what God’s word tells us about speaking things into being, because as Proverbs 18:21 (AMP) says Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and they who indulge in it shall eat the fruit of it [for death or life].

Most of the regular visitors to our site are already familiar with Judy Rousseau’s awesome marriage restoration ministry, which includes daily email messages to and from what she calls her “Marriage Partners”, but anyone unfamiliar with her ministry can find out more about Judy, her restored marriage testimony and how to sign up to receive her encouraging messages at this link. And even though the messages are always great, I was so impressed with the wisdom and insight shared by some of the “partners” in messages from last week that I requested permission to share some of them here. I made some minor changes, but mostly just removing names to protect identity. So the following excerpts are a great example of what to expect when you sign up to receive Judy’s email messages, and I know all of us can benefit from and relate to the wisdom and insight they contain. So thank you Vic and Tom for allowing me to share your encouraging words with visitors to the FAM site, and I’d love to have both of you “chime in” by posting responses any time! And thank you Judy for your awesome ministry and the blessing and encouragement you are to all of us as we stand for our marriages! And here’s a link to Pel Ministries, where you can read or download the book about prayer referred to in the following messages.

Here’s a message from Vic in Indiana:

Hi everybody. I haven’t been able to write to this group in quite awhile. For those of you who may not know me I’m Vic in Indiana. (Vickie but I go by Vic to my friends. Just thought I would clarify that as I saw that there is another Vic in this group now who is a he and I am a she). I have been standing for my marriage for almost 7 years.

I just had a couple of things that I wanted to respond to. I know that Glinda wrote yesterday to say that she had decided not to send the letter she had written, I still wanted to respond to the idea of writing to or speaking to the adulterous woman. There are a couple of scriptures that come to mind.

“Such is the way of an adulterous woman; she eats, wipes her mouth, and says, `I have done nothing wrong’.” Proverbs 30:20 In other words, she doesn’t care. She doesn’t care what this is doing to others, she doesn’t care who she is hurting. And our appeals to try and get her to care will probably not make any difference to her. She will only say `I have done nothing wrong’. Also, she is opposed to you and will be opposed to anything that you do or say and will find any way she can to make you look wrong in what you have done no matter what your intentions were. Everything you do and say will be perceived by her as merely an attempt to beat her and win your husband back. She has set her heart in such opposition to you that she will not receive anything coming from you but will reject it precisely because it comes from you.” I did not come with sublimity of words or of wisdom…and my message and my proclamation were not with persuasive [words of] wisdom, but with a demonstration of spirit and power so that your faith might not rest on human wisdom but on the power of God.” 1 Cor 2:1,4-5 I have found through experience that my “contact” with the woman my husband is with is more a matter of praying for her then in speaking to her with persuasive words of wisdom, and through the quiet testimony of my example as a woman and a wife who has allowed Christ into my life. These things can be much more powerful than any of my attempts to persuade or convict. I will tell you that I have felt, on occasion, led to write to this woman, the last time being about 5 years ago and frankly I got no response from her, nor did my husband respond to me. But you know what? A couple of months ago I had contact with my husband and this woman at my mother-in-law’s funeral and this time I only gave quiet witness to who I was in Christ and ever since then my husband has responded to me in more positive ways. We must remember what our goal is here.

Our goal is not to break them up but to reconcile with our husbands. She may be as bitter as wormwood but if I am bitter also in anger or willing to stir up conflict with my words then what incentive have I given my husband to choose me over her. Seems to me that in his eyes it is 6 of one and half a dozen of another. It seems to me that I am better served in looking to my behavior rather than hers and letting the Lord open my husband’s eyes to that contrast. “Then you will again see the distinction between the just and the wicked. Between him who serves God, and him who does not serve him” Mal 3:18 Finally, as has already been said “For our struggle is not with flesh and blood but with the principalities, with the powers, with the world rulers of this present darkness, with the evil spirits in the heavens” Eph 6:12 Really, she is not your problem. All of us think at one time or another that if we could just stop these relationships, if we can persuade these women to give up that our husbands will then return to us But as long as our husbands are hardened and determined in sin it really doesn’t matter if we get rid of this woman or not. There have been many standers who have been successful at breaking up the adulterous relationship or have seen the relationship break on its own, only to have their husbands find yet another woman without returning or who they have remained hard-hearted and not returned regardless of whether they were with someone or not, or the husband has returned home through default but remains hard hearted and there then remains a struggle with them within the home. While it is true that the adulterous woman exercises an extreme amount of control and influence through manipulation and intimidation and we may recognize that, we cannot allow that to lead us to believe that removing our husbands from this influence is our solution because it is often that this is not so. I am of the belief that an adulterous relationship is inevitably built to destroy itself sooner or later. “The Lord is revealed in this divine rule; by the deeds they do the wicked are trapped. Ps 9:17(NAB) I believe that God has so created things so that the wicked punish themselves by the very things they do, “The rain fell, the floods came, and winds blew and buffeted the house. And it collapsed and was completely ruined” Mat 7:27 All houses built on the sand of adultery are inevitably subject to this collapse. I feel that I am better served in my marriage by preparing myself and my heart to receive my husband when this relationship inevitably runs its course, rather than try to bring about the end to a relationship that will destroy itself anyway. And my marriage is best served in spending that time as I wait making sure that this house is set solidly on rock (Mt 7:24-25)

I would suggest that you read 2 Chronicles 20:1-30. To me this is a tremendous example of how to let the Lord fight our battles for us and there are many aspects of this story that can be applied directly to our situations most of the time. After you have read the chapter, I would like to direct your attention to these verses “They sang; `Give thanks to the Lord, for his mercy endures forever’. At the moment they began their jubilant hymn, the Lord laid an ambush against the Ammonites, Moabites, and those of Mount Seir who were coming against Judah, so that they were vanquished. For the Ammonites and Moabites set upon the inhabitants of Mount Seir and completely exterminated them. And when they had finished with inhabitants of Seir, they began to destroy each other. When Judah came to the watchtower of the desert and looked toward the throng, they saw only corpses fallen on the ground with no survivors.” Though there are many important keys in this entire chapter, these verses in particular have caused me to contemplate what would have happened to Judah had they decided to `help’ the Lord by entering into the battle. The first thing I realized is that the ambush was not set until the moment they took their stands and began to praise.

If they had entered into the battle rather than praising the Lord for the battle that He was going to win for them, the ambush would not have even been laid in the first place. The other interesting thing is that the enemy destroyed themselves and that there were no survivors. If Judah had entered the battle would they too not have been caught up in this force of destruction with no one surviving? I believe that this would have been so. I know that each and every one of us have felt at one time or another that urge to do something, anything that might help change things but we have to acknowledge that we are powerless (2 Chron 20:12) and all of our attempts to help things along, no matter how well intentioned, may only draw us into situations that are self-defeating. In so doing we often feed into the drama and conflict that the adulterous woman and our spouses seem to thrive on, feeding into what satan thrives on to be truthful.

I know there are times that the Lord does direct us to say or do something but it has been my experience that this is usually a matter of planting seeds rather than finding the solution to our circumstances or fighting or winning the battle. This is God’s gig as I call it. “for the battle is not yours but God’s”. We can remove the other person from this equation but if the hearts of our spouses have not changed and if our hearts are not prepared to receive them, we will not have a marriage. Only God has the power to bring about the change of heart that is necessary here. Once our spouses have been brought to this change of heart and want to be reconciled to us the other person will not matter nor will they even factor into our spouse’s decision to return to us. Many will say that they did this thing or that and it worked. Many may say that the Lord even led them to do so therefore it was right. But I think in the end of this I would love to be able to say “I did everything that I could do, I did everything right and followed every direction that the Lord gave me but my husband did not come home, then the Lord moved in his heart and he did come home” …so that I may not boast in human wisdom or action at all but only in the power of God.

I would also like to respond to Kim. You know, a civil divorce does not mean that a marriage is over. Jesus said “So they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, no human being must separate”. Our human courts must not divide what God has made one flesh. Though in our society we seek civil acknowledgment of our marriages by obtaining a license and having a civilly recognized minister witness to the vows, this is not what marries us. It is our vows that marry us and God witnessing to those vows in covenant that marries us and it is His covenant with the couple that causes us to become one flesh. If the civil courts wish to no longer acknowledge the license they issued or the witness they gave they can and if our spouses chooses to no longer acknowledge the vows they gave or the covenant they entered into they can. This is what happens in a civil divorce. But just because they have decided to deny it or not to acknowledge it doesn’t mean that it is no longer so. Scripture is quite clear that the covenants God witnesses to or that He enters into are everlasting. I have searched the scriptures and have not found any in which God failed to uphold a covenant or that He released a vow before it was fulfilled.. When a man makes a vow to the LORD or takes an oath to obligate himself by a pledge, he must not break his word but must do everything he said. Numbers If you make a vow to the LORD your God, do not be slow to pay it, for the LORD your God will certainly demand it of you and you will be guilty of sin. Deut 23:21

Be not hasty in your utterance and let not your heart be quick to make a promise in God’s presence. God is in heaven and you are on earth; therefore let your words be few…when you make a vow to God, delay not its fulfillment. For God has no pleasure in fools; fulfill what you have vowed. You had better not make a vow than make it and not fulfill it. Let not your utterances make you guilty, and say not before his representative, “It was a mistake” lest God be angered by such words and destroy the works of your hands. Rather, fear God!” Ecclesiastes 5:1,3-6.

Our spouses will be held to the vows that they made to us and to the covenant of our marriage “Because the Lord is witness between you and the wife of your youth, with whom you have broken faith” Mal 2:14 By the same token, so will we. Our marriages are not over though we may have to tolerate the restrictions that our spouses and the civil courts are enforcing right now. But we are called to honor our vows and our covenant as well regardless of their acknowledgment of them or not and must ourselves acknowledge them by maintaining the attitude that our marriages remain.

Finally, I want to respond to Tom and say that I felt such a thrill go through me in reading his testimony of how his wife’s lawyer wanted to pray with him! I so love to hear of God moving like that out of nowhere without our having to do anything. That is what I call a praise. Thank you for sharing it, Tom.

So I guess I will stop for now. So good to be able to share with all of you again. Love-Vic

Dearest Vic, how wonderful to hear from you again. Another wisdom-anointed article I’ll likely refer to and quote again and again. We have so many new partners now who have never read any of the things that you’ve written so I’m pleased that today they will have that opportunity. From recent conversations with Eva, I understand that you have been so busy. How I praise the Lord for the gift He has given you and for your willingness to share that gift with us. Hope you can write again soon.

Here’s a message from Tom in Minnesota:

First I would like to thank everyone for their prayers for my marriage. Please keep praying that something occur in my wife’s life that she change her mind about divorce. In prayer last night I was told my time in the “wilderness” was nearing an end and was convicted of several sins from my past that I had never acknowledged before. He told me they were hindering my prayers, but if I repented and sought forgiveness He would do so. I have and feel much closer to Him as a result. I have Tricia to thank for that as well as you Judy for hosting this site. Tricia, your “Desert Beauty” entry blew me away.

I was deeply troubled all day yesterday after reading it and felt under intense attack over and over no matter how much I prayed. I would turn it over to Him, feel at peace briefly, then the severe uneasiness in my heart would return. I was exhausted by the time I got home. When I got home I spent a lot of time praying and rereading it because I knew God had something to say to me. What I learned was not only was I in the wilderness for the reasons your entry pointed out, but that I hadn’t been there for just the 11 weeks of my separation from my wife. I had been there for most of my 44 years! I just didn’t recognize it and like the Jewish people with Moses had been wandering the entire time. Sometimes getting close to getting out, but then turning back to the world rather than seeking Him more deeply.

One of my biggest sins was pride, at being a tough guy, 10 years active duty Army officer in combat zone, all that junk. Last night, shortly after beginning to pray I was crying like a baby. He was there though and within a couple of hours had shown me the sins I needed to repent of told me a little of His plan. My brokenness and my desert of last night brought me to the point I thought I was at weeks and weeks ago. It’s not punishment, it’s a necessary part of His plan for me. Its where I had to come to find Him, no matter the cost.

I have 2 books that I haven’t read yet. One I purchased quite a while ago, the other last week. I have many, many others that I have purchased in the last 11 weeks that I have read and really got a lot out of. Of the ones I have not read, every time I wanted to I felt that very uneasy feeling, an actual pain on my heart. I’ve learned this to be a communication from our Father that it is not time to take whatever action I’m thinking of, that I’m not ready. Every time I’ve listened to this “feeling” things have turned out for my good. Ignore them and go with my own worldly inclination and disaster follows. Even if it’s something simple and mundane.

Last night, towards the end of my much needed prayer time I asked Him about the books again. Should I read them? This time, peace. Yes was the answer. If what I’ve been hearing is right, this is my final preparation for restoration. Far from the battle being won, but a big step in the right direction. I know what kind of husband and step-father I will be because He will be there with me as my Counselor and Guide. No more wandering in the desert as far as my marriage goes. (As for future deserts, I know they’ll come, but I’ll be able to see the beauty through the pain.)

Why are these two books significant to me regarding marriage restoration? Easy to explain. All the other ones like “Waking the Dead” by John Eldredge were focusing on MY relationship and walk with God. Not my wife’s, not my marriage, just seeking Him for myself, to be more like Him. To have the Holy Spirit dwell in my heart and to have Jesus intercede with the Father for me. For me. What a thought! It’s been painful, but every time I stumbled He was there to show me why and pick me up. He never gave up on me and I know He never did in the past
either.

The book I bought last week is called “Stained Glass Marriage: Hope for Shattered Homes” by Dale and Jenna Forehand. I just started it and it’s heartbreaking. All I’ve read so far is their break up and the awful things they did to each other, especially those involving their children. But it’s a book of hope, they remarried and now lead marriage seminars, as the back of the book says “revealing how God can use the broken pieces of a shattered marriage to create a work of art – a stained glass marriage.” I’m sure more will be painfully revealed to me as I read and pray as to what I still need to do. He’s equipped me to handle it though. I wasn’t before because I was handling everything in my own strength.

The other book, the one I bought at least 6 weeks ago is by Dr. James Dobson. Its “What Wives Wish Their Husbands Knew About Women.” I’m reading that one last so it’s still fresh when restoration begins. I’ve really had a lot of anxiety over that book every time I look at it on the shelf because I wanted to read it so much. Now I know why, its going to have things I need to know to make a lasting difference, to be the husband my wife needs and deserves. But until now, He had other truths to teach me regarding my relationship with Him. I was not ready for this information because the foundation wasn’t laid yet. Not on the rock anyway, I was still on sand. I would not have learned from it. I know this without ever having read it or even checked out the names of chapters because I know myself. Instead of learning from it I would have continued in the lies. If it said I should do something I would have said “I’m already doing that, she just doesn’t see it”. I would have blamed her. Husbands, if she doesn’t see it it’s because we’re NOT doing it, no matter what we think. Or if we are, it’s not with the right heart, motivation, spirit, or whatever word you want to choose. I know that’s true in my case and I would encourage you to pray and see what He says to you. And thanks again for the prayers for my wife and please keep them up. I know He approves!

I had to go “home” last night to pick up some personal possessions, still no contact with my wife at all except through her attorney. Many thoughts hit me as I sat and looked at my world she had packed up in black garbage bags. One was that I was to be specifically praying for someone today and when I asked who He said Randy. (The friend who lead me to Christ.) I emailed him and told him that this morning, and asked what he needed prayer for and promised to ask for prayer for whatever the situation. Here is what he sent:
This is an answer to prayer already this morning. Major problems last night and a feeling of hopelessness in my marriage. Your prayers are not only appreciated but very much needed. –Thanks!

I asked for help writing a prayer for him and He helped. I got so much inspiration on what to say and how to ask from the book you recommended yesterday found on the PEL website. I read half yesterday and half today. More on that in a second. Here’s the prayer I’m requesting all Prayer Warriors send up to the Lord:
Please pray for my friends Randy and Lisa and the circumstances around their marriage and family:
We pray that they be lead by the Holy Spirit to His Will and know that the covenant they made with Him and each other will not be broken. Any influences not from You we bind up and cast out using the Blood of Christ as our weapon. We ask that You do this in accordance with Your Word, “greater is He that is in us than he who is in the world” (I John, 4:3-4) as well as “And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb… (Revelation 12:11). Let us remember that prayer is warfare and that satan wins when we don’t pray but loses when we do because he has no defense against it. Bring them the joy You have promised over and over in Your Word. We thank You in advance for the miracles You will work in each of their lives today and the messages Your Holy Spirit will bring to them in their hearts. We pray all this in the mighty name of Jesus because “Lord, even the devils are subject to us through Your Name” (Luke 10:17). Amen
And Judy, that book told me I really am hearing God’s Direction and Will regarding my marriage, despite what I had to do last night, what my mind is telling me and how everything appears from the outside. As I walked around at lunch yesterday praying for guidance all I heard was “what does your heart say?” I kept putting it off and praying more. (Not listening again!) He kept at it until I heard and responded. I told Him my heart says that no matter how it appears my marriage is a covenant that can’t be broken and that He WILL restore it. And that He already is at work on it. Just because I see no evidence of it does not matter, I am to simply be patient, pray and have FAITH. This is what happened as I related it to Randy earlier:
After I got home last night and looked at all the black garbage bags filled with my life I began to pray. And I realized it was nothing more than a pile of crap from satan, and he was laughing. Earlier I had printed a book called “Praying Effectively for the Lost” and had read most of it on the way home, only 40+ pages. Recommended by a very insightful lady who runs a daily message of hope through Christ. I couldn’t believe how most of the precepts matched with what I was already doing, getting myself right first, using a list of other’s needs nightly, etc.
I had felt guilty because on Tuesday night, after the “storm” passed, (after LOTS of rain had come out of me), I felt Him telling me a new way to pray for her. I was to pray that He use whatever means necessary to bring her to her knees, to the brokenness He brought me to. For her I believe that includes financial disaster in some way, major car trouble, unforeseen bills, etc. That’s what I prayed would happen to her so she would turn to him. Not in a vengeful way, but to open her eyes to Him, not me. I was still feeling guilty about it even though I had that peaceful feeling about it. Then this morning I read this and realized, as usual, if I seek His Will, He’ll provide it. This is the 5th and final step of prayer for the salvation of others, a 5 step process that has been used by a lot of people including Billy Graham for a couple of centuries. I had done the other 4 for quite a while already and didn’t even know it.
Ask the Lord to open the minds and hearts of the lost – He will! Then, they can be gloriously saved. Now we are ready to ask the Lord to save him. However, we must be willing for God to do whatever it takes to facilitate his salvation, for God orchestrates events in his life designed to bring him to repentance.

Thanks, Tom. Your message contained so much meat, I just had to share the whole thing. May the Lord continue to bless you. I believe He is preparing you for quite a ministry.

Thanks, Carol. To answer your question about whether or not I apologized to Paul for my part in the failing of our marriage. The answer is “YES.” The Lord showed me that I had been quite disrespectful of Paul and also quite critical and self-righteous. I can’t remember when I made the first apology but I do know that it wasn’t early in our separation because I was just so angry during those first months. Praise the Lord, He didn’t leave me the shallow way He found me. Like Charlyne I’m sure that I apologized several times. However when one does this, he or she must be sure not to be apologizing for the wrong reasons. Some partners that I’ve spoken with over the years have struggled with such a sense of guilt that they apologize profusely for things that they shouldn’t apologize for.

As for what happened in our situation, it did take Paul quite a while to get over the other woman. However, she had become so volatile and obsessive that the breakup actually relieved a lot of the stress that was in Paul’s life. Little by little, Paul’s soul was healed from the effects of his adulterous affair as he gained strength in the Lord.

Here’s a message from Tom in Minnesota:

This is from someone I met on another site. I’m encouraging her to join us as well. I know the things I read here mean a lot to me. Like today’s entry from Neal. I agree with you, rant away! The story about his prayer partner being reconciled the day after seeing her with someone else gives me reason to keep hope alive. Anyway, I would ask everyone to continue praying for my marriage and that whatever deception is on my wife’s heart from the enemy be lifted. And please add Carrie and George to your prayers too. I’m pasting her email to me
along with my response. Anyone with any further advice or encouragement for her can post it here and I’ll forward it to her until she joins us herself. Anyway, here it is:

Hi Tom:

You probably don’t remember me but I am in some of the same prayer groups as you are like the “Loving God Fellowship, Christian Harvest End Time Souls etc.. Anyway we are praying and fasting for the same reasons, to see a breakthrough with our marriages that look hopeless and are now in the divorce process. That is where I met you and others who are praying for their marriages.

I was praying and fasting today when I got a very discouraging e-mail from a pastor on one of these ministries that does prayer and fasting. She said that she was lead by the Holy spirit to tell me this: She said in essence that the devil had already destroyed my marriage, and therefore I no longer had one and that I needed to decide to move on to be happier! I must have cried for 4 hours after that. Am I holding on to a dead marriage? Your Sister in Christ, Carrie

Carrie, absolutely I remember you. We met on the Loving God Fellowship site discussing fasting for marriages. And you and George are high on what has unfortunately turned into an ever increasingly long list of people whose marriages I’m praying for nightly. I’ve gotten names from a lot of websites.

I’m not sure what kind of “pastor” would say the Holy Spirit led her to say that satan has destroyed something therefore God is powerless. I sure wouldn’t sit in that pastor’s church for more than 5 minutes if something like that came out of her mouth. Same if her words came by email. I would pray for her, but wouldn’t put my hope in her words. I don’t believe the Holy Spirit would lead anyone, pastor or not, to say that satan has won. The God I pray to says nothing is impossible with Him.

To me it sounds more like this pastor heard from the enemy disguising himself and lying to her. She believed it. I’ve learned and believed that if we think we hear from God we are to measure whether it was from Him by whether what we hear is consistent with His word. Ask the pastor, if you are still corresponding with her, where in the Bible it says that if satan wins a battle God has lost the war. Or that if satan does something God is powerless to undo it. I’ve never read those parts. Because they’re not in there.

I have to pick up my belongings this week from my home. Apparently my wife has boxed everything up and set it outside under an eave and tarps. Should I say satan has already destroyed my marriage too? On the face of it he has and I could give up, it would be easier. But that’s not what I’m lead to do. I’m praying harder for her and began a 3 day fast today myself asking that whatever evil spirit is holding my wife’s precious heart be removed. If she turns to Christ our marriage can be restored. It’s been 11 weeks now since I’ve even spoke with her, but I’m not giving up. My divorce would likely be final at the end of October or early November if I believed satan’s lies. I choose to believe God’s truth and encourage you to do the same.

God says in Malachi very clearly that He hates divorce. So do I and will keep praying for you and all the other couples I’ve “met” through various websites. Where two or more agree He promises to grant us our prayers. He doesn’t say when or under what terms. I know the heartache you’re going through, I feel it every day myself. But He’s using this time to teach us. And lead us to where HE wants us to be, not to give in to satan’s lies. 11 weeks ago my prayers were strictly for marriage restoration, now, now, now. No thought to what His plan might be. 3 days after our separation I was lead to Him and finally, after 44 years of life, gave it all over to Him and truly accepted him as not only my Saviour, but as my Lord. To seek His Will over mine. And His is that she be forgiven and lead back to him for eternity. My role in that will be defined by Him, not me. She is without Him and I now know that it’s her very soul, her eternity, that I’m fighting for. Not just my marriage. There’s so much at stake in all these spiritual battles, but we have the greatest Commander ever. Follow your heart and His direction Carrie and know that His plan is greater, much greater, than anything the enemy has. He will take the loss satan brings us and glorify His name through overcoming it. –Tom

Wow, Tom. Preach it brother!!! What a message. How my heart grieves that there are so many pastors out there who just don’t understand the restoration power of our God. I can remember confronting a minister who had flat out told me that I needed to get a divorce and that my husband would NEVER change!!! Before leaving that church, I met with him and asked him what passages of scripture he was basing his counsel to me on because from what I read in the Word, NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR GOD!!!
If it’s not too much trouble, maybe you could send Carrie some of our messages so that she’ll know that there are others out there besides you who believe that restoration is possible. There have also been several restored marriages in this group. Here are just a few of those couples names: Paul and Judy (that would be me & my hubby), Adrienne and Stephen (Adrienne writes us frequently) Kerry and Ira, Toi and Stephen, Frank and Kelly, Brice and Lisa, Christi and Wally, Beth and Mike, Laura and Larry, Gary and Gwenn, Jana and Jay, Brigette and Jesse, Angel and Karo …

While we often talk about faith and hear a lot of awesome messages about what it is and how important it is, perhaps it’s even more important to talk about what faith is NOT, especially in the context of standing for marriage restoration.

First, faith has absolutely nothing to do with ANYTHING we can see, hear, touch, smell or taste. That’s right, if we can see it, hear it, touch it, smell it or taste it, it has nothing to do with faith, because faith is not required in any way, shape or form for ANYTHING perceived through our natural senses, as Hebrews 11:1 (AMP) tells us NOW FAITH is the assurance (the confirmation, the title deed) of the things [we] hope for, being the proof of things [we] do not see and the conviction of their reality [faith perceiving as real fact what is not revealed to the senses]. That means that ANYTHING we believe, expect or consider probable or even remotely possible based on ANY circumstance, behavior, situation, information, fact or evidence of any kind has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with faith. And the reason it’s important to understand what faith is not as we stand for the restoration of our marriages is because Hebrews 11:6 warns And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him. And Hebrews 10:38 more specifically states But my righteous one will live by faith. And if he shrinks back, I will not be pleased with him.” So when we need to see, hear, touch, smell or taste something to believe it, or when we require encouraging and affirming circumstances, behavior, situations, information, facts, or evidence of ANY kind to be convinced of something or believe something, we’re NOT living by faith, and God is not pleased with us. In fact, when we’re required to believe that God will restore our marriages without any reason or evidence to believe it, despite ALL of the physical facts and evidence indicating otherwise, and we refuse to put our faith in God, and completely trust and rely on Him, that’s shrinking back from living by faith, and God is DISPLEASED. And that’s definitely NOT good when His word tells us that we MUST believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him. In other words, there’s NO point in turning to God for the restoration of our marriages if we lack the faith and confidence that He WILL reward us for doing so.

The reason I believe it might be MORE important to focus on what faith is not than what it is, especially in the context of standing for marriage restoration, is that faith ALWAYS requires us to believe what there’s no earthly reason to believe, which almost always means ignoring a MOUNTAIN of contrary evidence. Yet it’s that very lack of evidence and reason to believe that our marriages ARE being restored that causes so many “standers” to become discouraged and give up. So despite many passages of scripture indicating that faith is required to move God’s hand on our behalf when we pray and stand for the restoration of our marriages, and despite having an opportunity of biblical proportion to exercise our faith and experience the awesome miracles God promises to give us, it’s entirely possible that our own failure to live by faith is preventing the restoration of our marriages. And Matthew 13:57-58 leaves little doubt of that, because it says And they took offense at him. But Jesus said to them, “Only in his hometown and in his own house is a prophet without honor.” And he did not do many miracles there because of their lack of faith. So our lack of faith can literally keep the Lord from restoring our marriages! Fortunately in contrast to that, Romans 4:19-25 (AMP) was written to remind us of how faithful God is to reward our faith and obedience, because it says He did not weaken in faith when he considered the [utter] impotence of his own body, which was as good as dead because he was about a hundred years old, or [when he considered] the barrenness of Sarah’s [deadened] womb. No unbelief or distrust made him waver (doubtingly question) concerning the promise of God, but he grew strong and was empowered by faith as he gave praise and glory to God, Fully satisfied and assured that God was able and mighty to keep His word and to do what He had promised. That is why his faith was credited to him as righteousness (right standing with God). But [the words], It was credited to him, were written not for his sake alone, But [they were written] for our sakes too. [Righteousness, standing acceptable to God] will be granted and credited to us also who believe in (trust in, adhere to, and rely on) God, Who raised Jesus our Lord from the dead, Who was betrayed and put to death because of our misdeeds and was raised to secure our justification (our acquittal), [making our account balance and absolving us from all guilt before God]. We should all memorize “he grew strong and was empowered by faith as he gave praise and glory to God, Fully satisfied and assured that God was able and mighty to keep His word and to do what He had promised”, because that is EXACTLY what we have to do if we’re serious about standing, without giving up, for the restoration of our marriages, because doing less is NOT living by faith and will not please God. And faith and obedience is what it takes to release God’s awesome power to bring our seemingly dead marriages back to life! So, as Hebrews 12:2-3 tells us, Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

One of the most rewarding and exciting aspects of writing posts for the site is when it is something I know without a doubt the Lord leads me to write, such as today. Over the past few days, the Lord kept bringing to my mind how we’re supposed to be light in a dark world; how others are supposed to see the light of Jesus in us, and how contrary it is to His purpose when we’re not and they don’t, and how it must disappoint Him. So I’ve been thinking of that a lot and what I should write about it. And almost every conversation I’ve had with women over the past week or so has included the importance of BELIEVING God; taking Him at His word and LIVING like we believe Him; demonstrating that we REALLY do trust and rely on Him. And then yesterday after I finished my post, I couldn’t get John 10:25-27 (AMP) out of my mind, because it says Jesus answered them, I have told you so, yet you do not believe Me [you do not trust Me and rely on Me]. The very works that I do by the power of My Father and in My Father’s name bear witness concerning Me [they are My credentials and evidence in support of Me]. But you do not believe and trust and rely on Me because you do not belong to My fold [you are no sheep of Mine]. The sheep that are My own hear and are listening to My voice; and I know them, and they follow Me. So I decided to write my post today about the importance of trusting and relying on the Lord and was surprised when my search for “trust and rely” only brought up two results on www.BibleGateway.com. But when I read the second result, I knew the Lord had something else in mind for today’s post!

The second result led me to Isaiah 50:10-11, which says Who among you fears the LORD and obeys the word of his servant? Let him who walks in the dark, who has no light, trust in the name of the LORD and rely on his God. But now, all you who light fires and provide yourselves with flaming torches, go, walk in the light of your fires and of the torches you have set ablaze. This is what you shall receive from my hand: You will lie down in torment. Wow, that’s a mouthful and it ought to be enough to get the attention of everyone standing for marriage restoration, especially those of us who struggle with letting go and trusting the Lord instead of trying to “fix” or “manage” everything ourselves. These verses make it pretty clear that we have to let God be our light in these dark times, that we have to obey Him and trust Him and rely on Him, because if we do anything else, HIS light doesn’t shine in and around us and we are definitely tormented. Sadly, “torment” well describes what a lot of women standing for marriage restoration experience, just as it did me for many years after my husband left. I now understand and often remind women that living in such turmoil and distress, particularly insisting on tormenting ourselves with thoughts of “What if…”, is evidence that we don’t REALLY believe God and we’re NOT willing to trust Him and rely on Him and WAIT for HIM to show us the way, but I didn’t realize the Bible spelled out the consequences of doubt so clearly. We often talk about doing what it takes to insure the blessings, provisions and protection of God, but we tend to pass over verses like this that warn what the Lord says will happen when we don’t. And there’s NO doubt that anyone standing for marriage restoration, especially in the beginning, can relate to feeling like we’re in the dark with absolutely NO light; with no idea of what to do or where to go and feeling totally lost and alone. And that’s when the Lord says we MUST turn to HIM and trust Him and rely on Him; that HE will give us the light we need to find our/His way. He assures us of that in Proverbs 3:5-6, which says Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. And we certainly don’t want to forget His glorious promise in Psalm 37:5-6, which says Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun. And Proverbs 14:12 makes it very clear why we can’t afford to rely on our own understanding or do things our own way, and further confirms Isaiah 50:10-11, because it says There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death. That’s why we have to rely on the Bible, the word of God, to guide us and provide the light we need in the darkness we find ourselves in right now, because Psalm 119:105 says Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path.

When we read Job 29:2-4, it’s so easy to understand and relate to Job’s anguish when he said “How I long for the months gone by, for the days when God watched over me, when his lamp shone upon my head and by his light I walked through darkness! Oh, for the days when I was in my prime, when God’s intimate friendship blessed my house, It’s so natural and normal for all of us to recall better days when we’re going through difficult times, but it’s important to understand that the only way to insure even better days ahead is to TOTALLY trust and rely on the Lord, and to live our lives in obedience to Him so that others will see His light in us. Reading the entire chapter of Job 2, paints a portrait of what our lives are like when we have an intimate relationship with Jesus, especially in terms of the things we do for others in service and obedience to Him, and how the Lord blesses us when we do. And it’s SO important to remember that the only known reason for the devastation and disaster God allowed in Job’s life, who was considered a godly man in every other respect, is found in Job 3:25, which says What I feared has come upon me; what I dreaded has happened to me. So Job’s only failure was not believing God, not trusting and relying on Him completely and allowing fear and dread to dominate his life. But the “rest of the story” is one of the most awesome stories of restoration in the Bible, which would NOT have happened if Job had not been totally faithful and obedient to the Lord NO MATTER WHAT…and because he continued to praise the Lord NO MATTER WHAT! So there’s a lot we can learn from the “rest of the story” and how God worked in his life as the result of his faithfulness.

There’s no doubt that when we find ourselves in difficult times of utter darkness and don’t see a way out, God wants and commands us to trust HIM, and believe and rely on Him and His word alone, including this awesome promise found in Psalm 18:28-36, which says You, O LORD, keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into light. With your help I can advance against a troop; with my God I can scale a wall. As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the LORD is flawless. He is a shield for all who take refuge in him. For who is God besides the LORD? And who is the Rock except our God? It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect. He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he enables me to stand on the heights. He trains my hands for battle; my arms can bend a bow of bronze. You give me your shield of victory, and your right hand sustains me; you stoop down to make me great. You broaden the path beneath me, so that my ankles do not turn. So what better reason is there for trusting and relying on God to turn our time of darkness into light than that! Actually, there IS one, which is found in Matthew 5:15, because it says Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. And we can be certain that when the Lord does turn our time of darkness into light, the rest of the world WILL sit up and take notice, and Jesus WILL be glorified! AMEN!!!

A very important Bible verse for everyone standing for marriage restoration to keep in mind is John 10:10 (AMP), which says The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, till it overflows). This verse is so significant because it’s a reminder that everything we’re going through is part of the devil’s plan to steal, kill and destroy us, our marriages and our families, so it’s very important to remember that Satan is our enemy, and not our husbands or even the NCPs (non-covenant person). And then we have to understand and find out what it takes to experience the abundant life Jesus came to give us. The entire chapter of John 10 provides great insight into the awesome relationship we have with Jesus as our shepherd. And verses 25-27 offer the best explanation for why so many Christians never experience that abundant life, because it says Jesus answered them, I have told you so, yet you do not believe Me [you do not trust Me and rely on Me]. The very works that I do by the power of My Father and in My Father’s name bear witness concerning Me [they are My credentials and evidence in support of Me]. But you do not believe and trust and rely on Me because you do not belong to My fold [you are no sheep of Mine]. The sheep that are My own hear and are listening to My voice; and I know them, and they follow Me. The key to experiencing and enjoying the abundant life the Lord wants all of us to have is believing, trusting, relying on and following Jesus, which we do by hearing and listening to Him. And when we don’t do that, we leave ourselves open to the attack of the devil and he steals, kills and destroys everything the Lord wants to give us. And we know everything He wants to give us is good, because of His awesome promise in Jeremiah 29:11-13, which says For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

On his TV broadcast this morning, Creflo Dollar began an awesome series of messages about abundant life, beginning with 8 Steps to Your Destination – Video and 8 Steps to Your Destination – Audio.

In this first message, Dr. Dollar illustrates how abundant life begins with the word of God, leading to divine thinking, which influences our emotions. Then our emotions and feelings affect the decisions we make and the actions we take. That’s how we create habits, which determine our character, and that’s what takes us to our destination of abundant life. This promises to be a very interesting series, so I encourage everyone to listen to these messages, and I’ll add the rest of the series as they become available.

Here are the links to the rest of the series:

8 Steps to Your Destination (Part 2) – Audio
8 Steps to Your Destination (Part 2) – Video
The Word Produces Your Thinking - Audio
The Word Produces Your Thinking – Video
Taking Charge Over Our Emotions )Part 1) - Audio
Taking Charge Over Our Emotions )Part 1) – Video
Taking Charge Over Our Emotions )Part 2) – Audio
Taking Charge Over Our Emotions )Part 2) – Video