I’m always so amazed how it’s possible to read verses in chapter context time and time again and skip right over their significance until someone points it out by using it in a particular context. That’s what happened when I heard someone refer to Psalm 32:7 this morning, which says You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance. What an awesome encouragement it is to know that the Lord is surrounding us with songs of deliverance! And that’s especially true when we feel like we’ve made a total mess of our lives and marriages; when we think we’ve messed things up so bad there’s no hope. Fortunately, the entire chapter of Psalm 32 provides awesome encouragement and instruction, because it says:
Blessed is he whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered. Blessed is the man whose sin the LORD does not count against him and in whose spirit is no deceit. When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer. Selah
Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the LORD “—and you forgave the guilt of my sin. Selah
Therefore let everyone who is godly pray to you while you may be found; surely when the mighty waters rise, they will not reach him. You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance. Selah
I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you. Do not be like the horse or the mule, which have no understanding but must be controlled by bit and bridle or they will not come to you. Many are the woes of the wicked, but the LORD’s unfailing love surrounds the man who trusts in him. Rejoice in the LORD and be glad, you righteous; sing, all you who are upright in heart!

The good news is that getting to the place of recognizing our mistakes and what WE did wrong is a VERY significant step in marriage restoration, because when we feel like we’ve made such a mess of things, we’ll finally be led to confess as Psalm 38:18 says, I confess my iniquity; I am troubled by my sin. And as Proverbs 28:13 assures us, He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy. In Psalm 32:3-4, David reveals what happens when we refuse to acknowledge and confess our sin, because it says When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer. And I know that’s something most of us can relate to, because as long as we insist on focusing on our husbands’ sin and refuse to deal with our own, that will continue to describe our lives. So we need to take the warning in verse 6 very seriously, because there WILL come a time when it’s too late for prayer and the Lord won’t be found. And my experience in marriage restoration ministry teaches me that happens in most cases when women refuse to examine the sin in their own lives, because they’re so focused on everything their husbands have done wrong, which means they won’t receive the blessings and benefits that ONLY confession provides. It’s not that God can’t be found or that He won’t listen to our prayers anymore, but unless we do acknowledge and confess our sins, until we’re truly troubled by them, we are at great risk of joining the ranks of “standers” who stand no more, whose time for confession and prayer have passed and who no longer seek the Lord for the restoration of their marriages.

Sadly, Psalm 32:9 describes most of us, because it says Do not be like the horse or the mule, which have no understanding but must be controlled by bit and bridle or they will not come to you. Prior to the turmoil in our marriages, we did not understand the place God insists on having in our lives and marriages and had just as little understanding of our godly roles as wives, so the Lord is using the circumstances we’re in now like a bit and bridle to bring us into right relationship with Him. So praise the Lord for the assurance in Psalm 32:5, which says Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the LORD “— and you forgave the guilt of my sin. Selah And then we have Romans 10:10, which says For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved. And what a most awesome promise we have in 1 John 1:9, which assures us that If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. And then, having been purified from ALL unrighteousness, we can rely on the powerful promise found in James 5:16, which says Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective. And we all know the significance of powerful and effective prayer as we stand for the restoration of our marriages! So we can not afford to let failure to examine our own lives and actions for sin, or our failure to acknowledge and confess them, hinder our prayers and the forgiveness, mercy, protection and deliverance God promises. And when we finally understand the things we’ve done wrong and turned to the Lord in confession, we can hide in Him, trust Him for protection, and hear the AWESOME songs of deliverance He IS singing around us!

Most regular visitors to the site know that a very influential passage of scripture used as a basis for establishing FAM Ministries was Revelation 12:10-11, because it says Then I heard a loud voice in heaven say: “Now have come the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God, and the authority of his Christ. For the accuser of our brothers, who accuses them before our God day and night, has been hurled down. They overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony; they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death. And then at another very difficult and challenging time when I’m sure Satan thought he had defeated God’s purpose, another very influential passage of scripture that helped me keep my focus on what God had called me to do with this ministry was 2 Corinthians 1:2-4, which says Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. The God of All Comfort Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. So the FAM websites are intended to emphasize and promote the power of our testimonies, and the fact that the Lord expects us to use them for His glory and to comfort and encourage others. And the following verses confirm that by making it pretty clear that we are called to share our testimonies for the Lord’s glory:

John 1:7
He came as a witness to testify concerning that light, so that through him all men might believe.

John 15:27
And you also must testify, for you have been with me from the beginning.

Acts 4:33
With great power the apostles continued to testify to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus, and much grace was upon them all.

Acts 20:24
However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the gospel of God’s grace.

2 Timothy 1:7-10
For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline. So do not be ashamed to testify about our Lord, or ashamed of me his prisoner. But join with me in suffering for the gospel, by the power of God, who has saved us and called us to a holy life—not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace. This grace was given us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time, but it has now been revealed through the appearing of our Savior, Christ Jesus, who has destroyed death and has brought life and immortality to light through the gospel.

This morning, Creflo Dollar shared his own testimony about a time when the Lord came through for him and what he learned from that experience, in Keeping Your Faith Focused (Part 1) - Video or Audio, which is a very encouraging message and great testimony.

So many discouraged and hopeless men and women visit this website every day, and I know there must be just as many, if not a lot more, who have AWESOME testimonies about times when the Lord came through for them in an amazing way when there seemed to be no way. So I’m asking those of you with such testimonies to share them by posting a response here to encourage those who greatly need to be reminded of the Lord’s grace, power and faithfulness, and it doesn’t have to be related to marriage restoration in any way, and testimonies from men are welcome too. We all share the responsibility to testify about what the Lord has done for us to encourage and comfort others. So, I’ll post the first testimony and hope to see many more from the rest of you. All you have to do is click on the link below that shows how many responses there are, and the rest should be pretty easy to follow. Let’s be obedient and give God the glory for the great things He has done and encourage others in the process! Just remember that everyone has access to what is posted here, so you might not want to use identifiable information, and we don’t want to say anything that does not glorify the Lord or that denigrates our spouses.

When we’re standing for marriage restoration, there’s NO more important question to answer than whether or not we have the ability to believe, because if we don’t believe in God’s word and every promise it contains, AND His ABSOLUTE power and willingness to fulfill them, we’re very sadly deceived by expecting Him to deliver on them. That’s why the very FIRST step in standing for marriage restoration MUST be reading and studying God’s word, along with a lot of prayer and fasting, to make CERTAIN we KNOW and understand HIS will as we decide to stand against the destruction of our marriages. And if we don’t STAY in the word and continue praying and fasting, Satan WILL come along and sow lethal seeds of doubt in our minds to keep us from believing, because he knows that he has no more effective weapons than doubt and unbelief! And the good news is that you don’t have to take MY word for it, because of the awesome illustration found in Mark 9 14-27, which says:
When they came to the other disciples, they saw a large crowd around them and the teachers of the law arguing with them. As soon as all the people saw Jesus, they were overwhelmed with wonder and ran to greet him. “What are you arguing with them about?” he asked. A man in the crowd answered, “Teacher, I brought you my son, who is possessed by a spirit that has robbed him of speech. Whenever it seizes him, it throws him to the ground. He foams at the mouth, gnashes his teeth and becomes rigid. I asked your disciples to drive out the spirit, but they could not.” “O unbelieving generation,” Jesus replied, “how long shall I stay with you? How long shall I put up with you? Bring the boy to me.” So they brought him. When the spirit saw Jesus, it immediately threw the boy into a convulsion. He fell to the ground and rolled around, foaming at the mouth. Jesus asked the boy’s father, “How long has he been like this?” “From childhood,” he answered. “It has often thrown him into fire or water to kill him. But if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us.” “‘If you can’?” said Jesus. “Everything is possible for him who believes.” Immediately the boy’s father exclaimed, “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!” When Jesus saw that a crowd was running to the scene, he rebuked the evil spirit. “You deaf and mute spirit,” he said, “I command you, come out of him and never enter him again.” The spirit shrieked, convulsed him violently and came out. The boy looked so much like a corpse that many said, “He’s dead.” But Jesus took him by the hand and lifted him to his feet, and he stood up.

This passage of scripture very accurately describes what often happens when we decide to take a stand for the restoration of our marriages! First, we usually encounter and even find ourselves involved in discussion or debate about the “law” and what the Bible actually says and means about marriage, divorce and remarriage. And many times we find Jesus and turn to Him for the first time in our lives, and we run to Him in wonder and delight, because we think and HOPE he can help us and that He will save our marriages. But as we face and struggle with the problems and challenges encountered every day when standing for marriage restoration, without seeing any changes or results as we pray, we become discouraged, and doubt and unbelief set in. Then time after time, we ask the Lord over and over again for a “sign” of encouragement, or even for something VERY specific as a sign that He will restore our marriages. And EVEN though He faithfully answers our prayers and we actually witness and experience the EXACT thing we asked Him for as a sign of encouragement or that He’s going to restore our marriages; even when we’ve seen something that we KNOW ONLY GOD COULD DO, we still end up accepting and proclaiming that our marriages are dead and that marriage restoration is hopeless! How can we ask God for a sign, and then be so delighted when He faithfully answers our prayers, only to give up on Him, so often just a matter of days or weeks later! That’s like calling the Lord a liar! If we ask Him for a sign or for encouragement and He gives it to us, and then we reject or refuse to believe the promise He sent the sign to give us, why in the world should He ever do another miracle for us. What reason does He have to believe we’d use it for His praise, honor and glory? These are very important questions for us to understand the importance of and answer, because the Bible leaves absolutely no doubt that EVERYTHING God does will be for the glory of Jesus (Ephesians 1 and Isaiah 55) and that without faith, it is impossible to please Him and He will NOT answer our prayers or perform miracles for us if we don’t believe He will (Hebrews 11:6, Hebrews 10:38 and James 1:1-8)! So, just like the father in the above passage of scripture, we have to ask the Lord to help us in our unbelief. And as He always is, He will be faithful to help us and He WILL come and lift us up! But we need to beware of the warning in Matthew 13:57-58, which says And they took offense at him. But Jesus said to them, “Only in his hometown and in his own house is a prophet without honor.” And he did not do many miracles there because of their lack of faith.

And finally, we have to realize and recognize that even our faith and ability to walk in faith comes from the Lord, because Romans 12:3 tells us For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you. And then John 15:5 says “I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. And praise the Lord for Philippians 4:13 (NKJ), which assures us I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. And as a reminder of what faith really means and requires of us, we can read Hebrews 11:1 (AMP), which says NOW FAITH is the assurance (the confirmation, the title deed) of the things [we] hope for, being the proof of things [we] do not see and the conviction of their reality [faith perceiving as real fact what is not revealed to the senses]. And Romans 10:17 even tells us what it takes to have faith that pleases God and gives us the assurance that He WILL answer our prayers and restore our marriages, because it says Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ. So once again, we learn that the most effective defense against Satan’s lethal weapons of doubt and unbelief is spending quality time studying and meditating on the word of God! And I am CERTAIN that there is a very direct correlation between the time we spend in the word and the time we spend battling doubt and discouragement. And if we’re spending too much time in that battle, Satan will probably win, because we’ll give up the stand God called us to for our husbands and the restoration of our marriages. And that’s a choice each one of us have to make for ourselves, so I pray that we will all get a lot more serious about reading and studying our Bibles and send Satan running right back to hell where he belongs!

There’s NO way to live in the power or peace of God without knowing, understanding and applying the word of God, and it’s very unlikely that it’s possible to successfully stand for marriage restoration without God’s peace and power. So yesterday’s TV broadcast message by Charles Stanley is a very important message for all of us as we stand for our marriages, as he makes an excellent case for why the Bible is so vitally essential to us if we want to live godly lives in an ungodly world, as anyone standing for marriage restoration is certainly called to do.

Dr. Stanley used Titus 1 as the basic text for his message, and particularly focused on Titus 1:9 (from the AMP this time), which says He must hold fast to the sure and trustworthy Word of God as he was taught it, so that he may be able both to give stimulating instruction and encouragement in sound (wholesome) doctrine and to refute and convict those who contradict and oppose it And he used Isaiah 40:8, which says The grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of our God stands forever.”

He makes a very good case for the fact that the only way to “hold to the word” is to believe it and apply it. And offers the following specific guidelines for doing that:

1. Read it carefully
2. Meditate on it daily
3. Study it seriously
4. Believe it whole heartedly
5. Apply it personally
6. Obey it deliberately
7. Share it openly

This message also makes a powerful case for the consequences in our lives when we drift from the word with the following points, which we all probably recognize the truth of:

1. We begin to think the way the world thinks
2. The world wins our affection
3. We compromise our convictions
4. It dominates our conversation
5. It redirects our focus on God
6. It influences our dress
7. It steals God’s tithes
8. It alters our schedule
9. It feeds our minds with sensual thoughts leading to immoral acts
10. It ruins our testimony
11. It renders us useless for the kingdom

That last point is one we REALLY need to pay very close attention to, because there is so much in God’s word that makes it very clear that our purpose here on earth is to give praise, honor and glory to Jesus, and when we live our lives in such a way we can’t do that, there’s NO reason for the Lord to bless and protect us, provide for us or hear and answer our prayers. One of those passages is Ephesians 1:4-14. And if we’re living lives that render us useless for the kingdom of God, we are NOT living in accordance with HIS purpose, as clearly indicated in the above passage, so we can NOT rely on God’s awesome promise in Romans 8:28, which says And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. And we can’t count on His promise in Proverbs 3:5-6 either, because it says Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. It’s not possible to read the Bible without understanding that while God’s love is unconditional, His blessings, provision and protection are not, because many of His promises require us to trust Him without reservation and to obey Him without question. So I hope and pray everyone will listen to Dr. Stanley’s message, Living Godly In An Ungodly Age, and understand how vitally important it is for us as we stand against the gates of hell in this wicked world for the restoration of our marriages.

I have no doubt this is an important message for someone in particular today, because of how the Lord brought it about. I was all set on a topic for today’s post and had already done quite a bit of preparation for it, but when I started working on it, it just didn’t seem right and I felt “blocked”. So I moved on to something else I had been considering, but the same thing happened. After repeating that process with several different possibilities I finally decided if I wasn’t comfortable with something in my spirit, I just wouldn’t post anything today. Then, at the end of a conversation with one of the FAM members, she casually mentioned that she just read something in the Bible we had discussed recently, and as soon as she said it, I knew that was the topic the Lord wanted me to write about today. Unfortunately, addressing the existence and dangers of false teachers in our midst is not an easy or popular topic, but since I’m certain it is what the Lord wants, here goes! And I think the best way to address it is to share how dramatically the Lord brought it to my attention, and then let the scripture speak for itself.

When the Lord first made it very clear to me that He wanted me to write a book about taking a stand for marriage, I started doing the necessary research and was totally blown away by some of the opinions I found on the internet and heard from what I considered respected preachers and teachers, because so many of them appeared to be so contrary to what the Bible actually teaches, including the words of Jesus himself. While writing the book, when it came to addressing the issue of why false teachings concerning marriage, divorce and remarriage are so prevalent in the church today, which I believed (and still do) was because so many people in ministry and church leadership are themselves divorced and remarried, I was struggling to find a way to present my opinion without sounding judgmental or like I was trying to promote and justify MY own opinion by discrediting others. At that point, I hit a serious mental block and decided to get away from it for awhile to clear my head.

Later that morning, I was going about my business, not thinking about anything in particular, when just like once before (at a very difficult time in my life), I heard what I considered pretty close to the audible voice of God, and I heard Him say “as a dog returns to it’s vomit.” As you might imagine that just about blew my mind and it made absolutely NO sense to me at all. I knew it was something in the Bible which I was pretty sure meant we tend to return to our sin like a dog returns to its vomit. But I couldn’t figure out why the Lord was telling me something like that, soI kept trying to figure it out while I was doing whatever I was doing, and then I felt “compelled” to go to BibleGateway.com and look up the scripture. There were two referenced verses; the first one was in Proverbs and the second one was in 2 Peter. I read both verses, as I usually do and then decided to read the second verse in context, which usually includes the verses before and after, but inadvertently ended up on the next link, which was the entire chapter of 2 Peter 2. So I just started reading the whole chapter, which is all about false teachers misleading Christians by teaching false doctrines. It took a little while for it to sink in, because my first thought when I read it was that the Lord was answering another question I had been researching for another book I was contemplating, and which I had been engaged in serious conversations with some of my friends about. And that was the often debated question of whether or not “once saved, always saved”, but after reading it a few times, I realized what the Lord was really showing me, even though it might seem to address the other question as well.

Now, with all of that in mind, read 2 Peter 2:17-22, and imagine how I felt!!! Talk about being on a spiritual high…I was on one, because it said These men are springs without water and mists driven by a storm. Blackest darkness is reserved for them. For they mouth empty, boastful words and, by appealing to the lustful desires of sinful human nature, they entice people who are just escaping from those who live in error. They promise them freedom, while they themselves are slaves of depravity—for a man is a slave to whatever has mastered him. If they have escaped the corruption of the world by knowing our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and are again entangled in it and overcome, they are worse off at the end than they were at the beginning. It would have been better for them not to have known the way of righteousness, than to have known it and then to turn their backs on the sacred command that was passed on to them. Of them the proverbs are true: “A dog returns to its vomit,” and, “A sow that is washed goes back to her wallowing in the mud.” And here’s the entire chapter of 2 Peter 2. I couldn’t believe how the Lord brought me to that particular passage of scripture just to help me write my book! I was not very familiar with that passage, and had no idea that the verse about dogs returning to their vomit had anything to do with false teachers, so it was very exciting and probably something I’ll NEVER forget!

So as we stand against the gates of hell and the rest of the world for the restoration of our marriages and families, we must avoid being enticed by the promises of freedom offered by anyone teaching that there’s nothing wrong with getting divorced or married again once we’re divorced…NO MATTER WHO THEY ARE! Since standing for marriage restoration is far from easy and we often get tired and discouraged, it doesn’t take much to fall into the trap Satan sets to snare us as 2 Timothy 4:3 warns, because it says For the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. Unfortunately, few pastors, preachers, teachers and church leaders today have the courage or conviction to resist scratching so many itching ears and take a strong stand for what the Bible so clearly teaches about marriage, divorce and remarriage instead. And that’s most likely because it’s VERY unpopular and could even jeopardize their livlihood, since so many people in their churches and congregations and among their families and friends are in second or subsequent marriages, and quite often just because they weren’t happy in the first marriage and met someone else they thought would make them happier. I don’t know if it’s a term anyone else ever used before, but I consider that “situational interpretation”, and as Hebrews 13:8 tells us, Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. And His word NEVER changes, even if our circumstances and situations do! So what we believed when we first made a decision to stand for our marriages has not changed. God didn’t give us a word about standing for our marriages and then take it back, but once we stop reading and studying the Bible for ourselves, and praying for the Lord to guide and direct us, we fall easy prey to the work Satan so easily accomplishes now through false teachings so dominant in today’s Christian churches. And then we’ll be deceived and try to justify ignoring what Jesus said in Matthew 5:17-18, which is “Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them. I tell you the truth, until heaven and earth disappear, not the smallest letter, not the least stroke of a pen, will by any means disappear from the Law until everything is accomplished. Anyone who breaks one of the least of these commandments and teaches others to do the same will be called least in the kingdom of heaven, but whoever practices and teaches these commands will be called great in the kingdom of heaven.

Dear Lord, I have no doubt this message is for someone in particular today, so I pray that through the power of the Holy Spirit, their heart is touched and that you will give them the grace and wisdom to continue standing for the restoration of their marriage and family in faith and obedience to you. In fact, I’m certain that will happen, because you wouldn’t have led me to write this as you did today unless it was for just that purpose. Thank you, Lord, for loving us so much that you are always with us and always working in our lives and on our behalf to bring us into the awesome and glorious plans you have for us and our families. Help us to keep our eyes on you, Jesus, and not on our circumstances or what the rest of the world does or says, and protect us from the influence of false teachers. Please give us the courage and strength we need and the encouragement you know we need from time to time. For as your word tells us, without you we can do nothing, but with you ALL things ARE possible. Fill us with the power of your love and bless us with great faith and peace and joy that passes all understanding. We love you and give you all praise, honor and glory. And it’s in the name of Jesus we pray and give thanks. Amen.

While there are many important things for us to learn about the Lord and His kingdom as we grow closer in our walk with Him and stand for the restoration of our marriages, the more I learn and understand personally, the more I realize just how important it is for us to truly understand the power of our words. This week Joyce Meyer has been teaching about self-control and discipline in her TV broadcast messages and today her message was titled Watch Your Mouth - Part I, and it’s an AWESOME message! There’s no way to listen to this message without finally comprehending the power our tongues have to literally determine the direction of our futures, so I very strongly encourage everyone to take the time to listen to it several times if that’s what it takes to get it!

The main Bible text Joyce uses in this message is James 3:1-12 (AMP), which says:
1 NOT MANY [of you] should become teachers (self-constituted censors and reprovers of others), my brethren, for you know that we [teachers] will be judged by a higher standard and with greater severity [than other people; thus we assume the greater accountability and the more condemnation].
2 For we all often stumble and fall and offend in many things. And if anyone does not offend in speech [never says the wrong things], he is a fully developed character and a perfect man, able to control his whole body and to curb his entire nature.
3 If we set bits in the horses’ mouths to make them obey us, we can turn their whole bodies about.
4 Likewise, look at the ships: though they are so great and are driven by rough winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the impulse of the helmsman determines.
5 Even so the tongue is a little member, and it can boast of great things. See how much wood or how great a forest a tiny spark can set ablaze!
6 And the tongue is a fire. [The tongue is a] world of wickedness set among our members, contaminating and depraving the whole body and setting on fire the wheel of birth (the cycle of man’s nature), being itself ignited by hell (Gehenna).
7 For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea animal, can be tamed and has been tamed by human genius (nature).
8 But the human tongue can be tamed by no man. It is a restless (undisciplined, irreconcilable) evil, full of deadly poison.
9 With it we bless the Lord and Father, and with it we curse men who were made in God’s likeness!
10 Out of the same mouth come forth blessing and cursing. These things, my brethren, ought not to be so.
11 Does a fountain send forth [simultaneously] from the same opening fresh water and bitter?
12 Can a fig tree, my brethren, bear olives, or a grapevine figs? Neither can a salt spring furnish fresh water.
Well, I don’t know anyone who could honestly deny being nailed by that first verse! I know I was, as well as on several points in Joyce’s message today. So, I decided to go ahead and listen to tomorrow’s message, which is Watch Your Mouth - Part II, and just as powerful!

It would be a good idea to have a notepad handy or your Bible in order to make note of the passages Joyce refers to in this message, but one powerful passage she uses is Ephesians 4:29-31 (AMP), which says:
29 Let no foul or polluting language, nor evil word nor unwholesome or worthless talk [ever] come out of your mouth, but only such [speech] as is good and beneficial to the spiritual progress of others, as is fitting to the need and the occasion, that it may be a blessing and give grace (God’s favor) to those who hear it.
30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God [do not offend or vex or sadden Him], by Whom you were sealed (marked, branded as God’s own, secured) for the day of redemption (of final deliverance through Christ from evil and the consequences of sin).
31 Let all bitterness and indignation and wrath (passion, rage, bad temper) and resentment (anger, animosity) and quarreling (brawling, clamor, contention) and slander (evil-speaking, abusive or blasphemous language) be banished from you, with all malice (spite, ill will, or baseness of any kind).
And the rest of that command is found in verse 32, which says And become useful and helpful and kind to one another, tenderhearted (compassionate, understanding, loving-hearted), forgiving one another [readily and freely], as God in Christ forgave you.

If we’re honest, we’re probably all nailed again, because we’re all guilty of speaking words contrary to this command, and we should not forget that it IS a command. Joyce shares a personal experience in her ministry as she makes the point that there is a direct connection between the words we speak and the power of the anointing of the Holy Spirit to flow in our lives.

Ladies, I pray that we will all be a lot more mindful and thoughtful about the words we speak, because we WILL eat their fruit, for better or worse, for life or death, for restoration or permanent separation, and for the glory of the Lord or Satan.

Even though I have another topic for today’s SOF ppost, which I will post later, when I saw this message in Judy Rousseau’s email message this morning from one of her “marriage partners”, I knew it was something that needed to be shared here. In recent weeks, it’s been heart breaking to see how Satan is working in our midst to deceive and defeat women standing in very difficult circumstances for the restoration of their marriages. Ladies (and gentlemen), Satan does NOT send a wolf in wolf’s clothing! No Way! You can be absolutely certain that wolf will be all dressed up in the finest array of one of God’s dearest little lambs! BUT MAKE NO MISTAKE, HE (OR SHE) IS A WOLFE JUST THE SAME! And he (or she) was sent from the pits of hell to deceive you and lead you away from the path of marriage restoration on which the Lord called you to stand! There’s NO WAY to overstate the importance of AVOIDING the temptation so often put before Christian women standing for their marriages, which means avoiding ALL contact with men in similar circumstances or ANY man who pays you any special attention, married, single, divorced, separated or widowed. In this case, an ounce of prevention is worth way more than a ton of cure! Even though I’m not sharing the name of the author of the following message, I thank her from the bottom of my heart for sharing what’s in her heart and I pray that it will open the eyes of anyone Satan is trying to deceive with such temptations. You can be sure, once you’ve allowed yourself to be so tempted, you will do exactly what 2 Timothy 4:3 predicts, because it warns For the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. In the name of Jesus, God bless and protect everyone standing for marriage restoration from ALL such deception sent by the devil! AMEN!

“Hi! Hope that you are well - I can read that you have been extremely busy. What a blessing to have your family so close by!
I wanted to share something that I “realized” yesterday…about opposite sex relationships under the guise of “ministering.” I attend bible study at a church nearby. When I first started attending, I had two people introduced to me that were praying for their marriages. One of them was a guy around my age. I was incredibly rude (i type this red faced!) and although I prayed for his marriage and tried to point him in the direction of some excellent resources, I refused to meet him (even in a group!). I know my own weaknesses (at least this one) too well to have fallen for that trap…I mean, he isn’t unattractive.
What saddens me is that he was not so “lucky”. We have mutual friends who have shared that he is no longer seeking restoration and has become involved with someone in our church. I know a LOT of standers really wonder “what the big deal is”…I’m here to testify that THAT is the big deal. Are you even curious when widows/widowers marry one another? That people who have experienced a traumatic experience together “end up” together? I PRAISE GOD for the wisdom HE has given me to see my own weaknesses here. And there are PLENTY.
Many of you probably don’t struggle here…you are blessed. But for those of you who do - who’ve lost weight, are more attractive than you’ve ever been (PRAISE BE TO GOD!) and have unwanted attention, which makes you feel attractive and a ton of other things - TRUST ME - you are BEAUTIFUL and you don’t need any one else to validate that for you… I have watched the enemy try and trip me (heck, smack me over the head!) here more times than I would like. I felt lonely, ugly, unwanted, rejected and here were people who were “acting like” they “loved me”. Can anyone out there relate? This has got to be for SOMEONE out there…because I feel pretty foolish even sharing this with you. I can hear the teeth clicking and “You’re so vain” playing in the background -
and LORD knows, I wish it were vanity…that would be an easier break. But it isn’t. It’s (real) rejection. It’s (real) pain. It’s (false) acceptance. It’s (false) appreciation. It’s (false) validation. And I fell for it once…very early on in my stand…and 2 days later my husband called to tell me he wanted a divorce. Cause and effect? I don’t know. But I know that what I did was wrong, out of the LORD’s plan for me.
I could have fallen for that guy I mentioned earlier, too - I knew I could have. Even worse? At one point last night, I wished I had. I mean, he was moving on, looked like he was happy, accepted, loved…but the LORD is sooo good and HE reminded me that that wasn’t what HIS plan was for me. And I know that HIS plans for me are GOOD! I’m not judging the guy - hey, I know that the LORD doesn’t speak restoration to everyone. And I know that the LORD loves this guy…and that he will work it all out for good… I’m mentioning this because someone out there is struggling with this and I am here to tell you IT ISN’T WORTH IT. No matter how you work it out in your head - it isn’t GOD’s plan for you. Get your cup filled by your creator, your LOVING GOD…and stop begging for what HE wants to give you, from other people and places.
And to K_____…what about this divorce whether it goes through or not, will change who you are? You are GOD’s child, the apple of HIS eye, HIS beloved. God is in control - if your divorce goes through (and I pray it doesn’t), remember that the LORD knew what would come on the day he spoke restoration to you. He knew every valley and mountaintop, and yet, HE still spoke restoration to you. I’m reading a book - “Bondage Breakers” (which I fought, btw) and the author made an analogy that has really stayed with me…Imagine a road, lined with townhouses and skyscrapers. You are at one end, and CHRIST is at the other. As you walk down the street, you hear “voices” - trying to distract you from your goal (CHRIST). Those voices, be they circumstances, spirits, what have you, they are trying to slow your progress, impede it, destroy your ability to make it to the end, in CHRIST. Divorce, rotten circumstances, whatever - those are the screamers out the windows as you walk towards CHRIST. Don’t let them impede you one step. (the book, btw, is AWESOME!!!)
And for what it is worth - I haven’t spoken to my husband in over a year - the last time I saw him, he told me he wanted to restore, we had a BLESSED weekend, and then *poof*. GOD taught me that contact with him wasn’t a barometer for the LORD’s working.
Whew - Judy, that was LONG. Feel free to edit or not even post it. Whatever the LORD leads. I have tried to write this a few times and felt too silly to hit “send”…today I stepped out. In HIS LOVE, M______
Thank you, M______, for your honest and straightforward message about the dangers of double-mindedness. Over the years there have been many partners who have been standing with one leg and at the same time dangling their other leg over the fence to keep themselves active in the world of dating, just in case the Lord doesn’t answer their prayers in the way and timing they desire. A timely and well written message, M______. Thank you once again.”

John 10:10-17
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full “I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. The hired hand is not the shepherd who owns the sheep. So when he sees the wolf coming, he abandons the sheep and runs away. Then the wolf attacks the flock and scatters it. The man runs away because he is a hired hand and cares nothing for the sheep. “I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me—just as the Father knows me and I know the Father—and I lay down my life for the sheep. I have other sheep that are not of this sheep pen. I must bring them also. They too will listen to my voice, and there shall be one flock and one shepherd. The reason my Father loves me is that I lay down my life—only to take it up again.

Since Jesus tells us that He IS working to gather our husbands into the flock, let’s not make the work more difficult or delay it by allowing the wolves sent by the devil to scatter us!

Ordering any of the following “Bondage Breaker” products from the links provided below will help support FAM Ministries, and they’re always very highly recommended by anyone who reads them:

Bondage
Breaker Revised, Book and Study Guide - 2 volumes
By Neil Anderson

You feel defenseless. The devil seems to have control of your thoughts and actions, causing you to sin again and again. But there’s a solution! Dr. Anderson gives you a proven strategy for breaking free from Satan’s stronghold and the bondage of habitual sin. Claim victory today! Set includes one softcover copy of the book and one copy of the workbook.

The
Bondage Breaker, Revised
By Neil Anderson

You feel defenseless. The devil seems to have control of your thoughts and actions, causing you to sin again and again. But there’s a solution! Dr. Anderson gives you a proven strategy for breaking free from Satan’s stronghold and the bondage of habitual sin. Claim victory today! This updated and expanded edition includes more encouraging success stories and suggestions. 252 pages, softcover from Harvest.

The
Bondage Breaker Study Guide, Revised
By Neil Anderson

Thousands of people have discovered the liberating truth of The Bondage Breaker. Now you can grasp more fully how God sets us free in this complete guide to victory over Satan and his forces of darkness. Perfect for personal study, or quarterly classes, this study can be used with The Bondage Breaker book or on it’s own.

The
Bondage Breaker - Audiobook on Cassette
By Neil Anderson

You’re trapped. You don’t know how you ended up in such a mess–locked in habits you can’t seem to break or caught in sin. You are not alone. The Bible warns that all Christians will struggle against Satan and his spiritual forces of darkness. This audiobook reveals the whys and hows of spiritual warfare, exposes Satan’s battle for your mind, and details the powerful truth that will break even the most stubborn habits or private sins. You can live without chains! Learn the truth of who you are in Christ and what it means to be a child of God. Knowing your spiritual identity and position in Christ is the essential truth that will set you free. Abridged. Read by the author. 2 cassettes.

As often happens, a common theme on several Christian TV broadcasts today is fear and since fear is why we find it so difficult to “Let Go and Let God”, it’s a great topic to follow yesterday’s post, Letting Go. Unfortunately, fear is a natural enemy to all of us as we stand for marriage restoration, because if we give in to it instead of standing on the promises of God, we don’t have the faith and confidence necessary to win the war Satan has waged against us, our husbands and our families. In 2 Corinthians 10:2-6, Paul said I beg you that when I come I may not have to be as bold as I expect to be toward
some people who think that we live by the standards of this world. For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. And we will be ready to punish every act of disobedience, once your obedience is complete. Obviously God does not want us to wage war like the rest of the world, and Paul makes it very clear that defeating the devil in the spiritual battle for our marriages requires taking our thoughts captive and making them obedient to Christ, but fear keeps us from doing that.

God SO wants us to have the awesome faith and confidence expressed in Psalm 46:1-3, which says God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging. Now that’s faith in the face of fear! More importantly, and most powerfully, it’s putting faith in the place of fear, because it’s not possible for fear and faith to co-exist. And one of the most awesome examples of overcoming fear with faith is found in Hebrews 16:17-18, which says By faith Abraham, when God tested him, offered Isaac as a sacrifice. He who had received the promises was about to sacrifice his one and only son, even though God had said to him, “It is through Isaac that your offspring will be reckoned.” There’s no point in denying our fear, because that’s unrealistic, but we do need to take Joyce Meyer’s advice and “Do it afraid.” Just like temptation, there’s no sin in temptation, but giving in to it when we’re tempted is what leads to sin. And there’s no sin or shame in being afraid, but the sin and our loss comes when we allow that fear to keep us from walking in the faith needed to please God and make it possible for Him to perform the miracles we need in our marriages and lives. And if that sounds like an overstatement of faith’s power, Matthew 13:57-58 tells us otherwise, because it says And they took offense at him. But Jesus said to them, “Only in his hometown and in his own house is a prophet without honor.” And he did not do many miracles there because of their lack of faith. Let it never be said that the Lord can not work on our behalf to change our husbands and restore our marriages, because our lack of faith and confidence in His word and faithfulness makes it impossible for us to overcome the fear Satan intends to destroy us and our families.

So when fear threatens to overcome us and keep us from letting go and putting ALL of our trust and confidence in the Lord, we need to listen to Psalm 91. It’s only two minutes long, so it would probably be a very good idea to listen to it often, especially when we’re going through the most difficult times, because it’s VERY encouraging and assures and reminds us that there’s NO reason for fear when we’re DWELLING IN THE SHELTER OF THE MOST HIGH!!

Psalm 91:
He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the LORD, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.”
Surely he will save you from the fowler’s snare and from the deadly pestilence. He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday. A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you. You will only observe with your eyes and see the punishment of the wicked. If you make the Most High your dwelling—even the LORD, who is my refuge-then no harm will befall you, no disaster will come near your tent. For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
You will tread upon the lion and the cobra; you will trample the great lion and the serpent.
“Because he loves me,” says the LORD, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. He will call upon me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him. With long life will I satisfy him and show him my salvation.”

Even though there are so many difficult challenges when standing for marriage restoration, the most difficult of all for most men and women is letting go, or even understanding that we’re called to do that and what it means. Despite rampant abuse of this particular verse among Christians today, we still have to rely on the wisdom and instruction found in 1 Corinthians 7:15 (NKJV) as we stand for our marriages, because it says But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace. However, it’s very important to read the entire chapter of 1 Corinthians 7 (NKJV) to fully understand the context of this verse and what Paul acknowledges is his personal attitude concerning marriage, which he clearly felt interfered with service to the Lord.

Through conversations in the past week or so, the Lord has really impressed me with the importance of letting our spouses go, which most of us don’t REALLY understand. Letting them go (or depart)means releasing them to do whatever they’re going to do, no matter how sinful, no matter how stupid, no matter how much it hurts, no matter how dangerous, no matter how wrong, no matter what. Letting them go means we don’t have to know, understand or feel responsible for what they’re doing, what they’re thinking, how they’re feeling, who they’re talking to and even the things they’re NOT doing…nothing. We don’t have to know or “fix” anything, because we know God knows it all and He can handle it all. He’s in control and he just wants us to release them to Him and trust and KNOW that He IS doing what He promises us He will do. And we do NOT have to know when, where, how, or even what He’s doing. And most of the time, the only way to let our husbands and wives go AND live in peace is to release and totally give up EVERY expectation we have concerning them, which is probably the most difficult challenge of all. However, it IS what the Lord wants us to do, and it is a VERY significant part of acknowledging Him in all our ways. God’s plan just doesn’t work without working the plan found in His word. All He asks us to do is stand in the gap for our spouses with faith and unending prayers, and when the perfect time arrives, HE WILL MOVE. But not until then, and if we had any smarts, we wouldn’t want it any other way. So releasing our spouses and living in peace requires doing, and not just hearing, what Proverbs 3:5-6 says, which is Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. And as we trust the Lord and concentrate on doing things HIS way, we can rely on His word in Psalm 37:5-6, which promises Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun. Since every man and woman standing for marriage restoration knows all about feeling totally helpless to change our spouses or what they’re doing, we should take great comfort from these verses and then do everything in our power to walk them out in our lives every day, because God is not a liar! In fact, Hebrews 6:17-20 tells us Because God wanted to make the unchanging nature of his purpose very clear to the heirs of what was promised, he confirmed it with an oath. God did this so that, by two unchangeable things in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled to take hold of the hope offered to us may be greatly encouraged. We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain, where Jesus, who went before us, has entered on our behalf. He has become a high priest forever, in the order of Melchizedek. So the very best place for us to be is where we finally understand and accept that we can NOT do anything to change our marital circumstances and that the ONLY hope we have is in Jesus and the way HE made for the restoration of our marriages. So we’re in the right and best place when we understand and relate to Psalm 62:1-2, which says My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken. When we stand in faith and obedience, God WILL meet every need and He will be faithful to fulfill every promise found in His word, just as Isaiah 55:9-13 says:
9 “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.
10 As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,
11 so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.
12 You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands.
13 Instead of the thornbush will grow the pine tree, and instead of briers the myrtle will grow. This will be for the LORD’s renown, for an everlasting sign, which will not be destroyed.”

Proverbs 8:34 (NKJV) reminds me So much of the father of the prodigal son, because it says Blessed is the man who listens to me, Watching daily at my gates, Waiting at the posts of my doors. So instead of focusing so much on the prodigal son and what happened to him, everyone standing for marriage restoration needs to be a whole lot more focused on the father and what he did, AND WHAT HE DID NOT DO, because that’s the best example the Bible provides of what it means to let our spouses go and live in peace. So it would be very good for all of us to read and meditate on The Parable Of The Lost Son, more commonly referred to as the prodigal son, and why our husbands and wives are so often referred to as prodigals. I have no doubt that father was totally devastated and that his heart was broken when his rebellious, disrespectful and ungrateful son in effect said that he wished he would die so he could have his inheritance. And I have no doubt that after letting his son go into the unknown dangers of the lifestyle he wanted to live in and waste his fortune on, he made peace with his pain and disappointment, and overcame his fear by devoting himself to prayer, putting all of his faith in the Lord to protect and return his son. That’s why as men and women standing for marriage restoration, we must faithfully do what Colossians 4:2 instructs us to do, which is Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.

In an effort to clarify and address what I consider a popular misinterpretation, it’s important to note that the Greek word interpreted as “bondage” (or “bound” in the NIV) in the original text of 1 Corinthians 7:15 is “DOULOO”, which means slavery, and the same word used in Acts 7:6, which says God spoke to him in this way: ‘Your descendants will be strangers in a country not their own, and they will be enslaved and mistreated four hundred years. And that’s the same word used in 2 Peter 2:19, which says They promise them freedom, while they themselves are slaves of depravity—for a man is a slave to whatever has mastered him. Yet, in 1 Corinthians 7:39, where Paul said A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord., he used the Greek word “DEO”, which means mutual commitment or agreement, as by contract. And that’s the same word he used in Romans 7:2-3, which says For example, by law a married woman is bound to her husband as long as he is alive, but if her husband dies, she is released from the law of marriage. So then, if she marries another man while her husband is still alive, she is called an adulteress. But if her husband dies, she is released from that law and is not an adulteress, even though she marries another man. So it is not reasonable to interpret 1 Corinthians 7:15 to mean that if an unbelieving spouse (not necessarily unsaved) leaves or departs, the other spouse is free to remarry. And since God ALWAYS calls us to live in peace, we can’t infer a special interpretation in this context, because the same thing is seen in many other verses, such as Romans 12:18, which says If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Furthermore, rejecting such an interpretation is also consistent with the instructions given to wives in 1 Peter 3:1-2, which says Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. That makes more sense because 1 Corinthians 7:16 asks how we know whether we will save our unsaved spouses, and many men and women with restored marriages say that it was the unexplainable peace they observed in their spouses that first drew them back to their homes. I can’t necessarily explain why this verse says that we’re not bound in such circumstances, but it can NOT mean something totally contrary to what so many other verses say, especially since Paul did NOT use the Greek word DEO. Perhaps it is just simply a statement of the obvious, which is that while our spouses are away from home, we’re not under the bondage of performing or acting as their husbands or wives in terms of our daily duties and responsibilities, which makes us free to focus on other things that glorify the Lord instead. That especially makes a lot of sense when considered in the context of how strongly Paul states his own opinion that married people can’t serve the Lord with the same level of faithfulness and commitment as those who don’t have the responsibilities and concerns of marriage, so Paul obviously considered marriage as a type of bondage or slavery.

Even though we might not understand it, there is no doubt that the Lord expects us to release our spouses and let them go when they want to leave because they no longer believe in the sanctity of the vows they made to us. And, yes, He does know how difficult that is, but He requires it just the same. Perhaps a vision He gave me once will help bring some comfort and make it easier to do, because He showed me that even though our spouses think they are running from us and their families and responsibilities, they’re really just running right into the arms of Jesus. So let’s not stop them by trying to put up roadblocks and holding onto them, or by trying to make them feel guilty for their sin, short comings and failures. That’s the role of the Holy Spirit and He doesn’t need our help. Our role is to ALWAYS show respect, honor and unconditional love for our husbands and wives, regardless of whether or not we think they’re doing anything to deserve it. So the next time you’re husband or wife is doing something you just can’t understand and something you don’t know how to deal with, turn to the Lord and ask Him to help you and visualize them running right into the arms of Jesus! And each and every day when you get up, ask the Lord what HE wants you to do that day for His kingdom and glory, because that IS the real key to living in peace NO MATTER WHAT!

Even though I was looking forward to writing the post I’ve had on my mind for the past few days, when I saw Joyce Meyer’s TV broadcast message this morning, I knew I’d have to set that aside and share Joyce’s message instead. It’s The Perks Without the Works, in which she teaches the importance of discipline and self-control, and it’s a VERY important message for anyone serious about marriage restoration to watch.

There’s no way to overstate how important it is for us to understand the spiritual laws and principles operating and controlling the kingdom of God, which we need to know and understand so we can put them to good use as we stand against the gates of hell and what the rest of the world says about the restoration of our marriages. So I ALWAYS welcome and appreciate messages stressing how vital that is for the realization of our dreams and the fulfillment of our prayers. In fact, I recently wrote a post about that titled Doing What It Takes To win, in which I stressed the importance of studying God’s word so we’d know what it takes to win the battle for the salvation of our marriages, husbands and families.

God never meant for us to be passive as Christians. Yet, that’s how many view their relationship and walk with the Lord. But no one expecting or requiring a miracle can afford to be passive. No where in the word of God does it indicate that we can accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior and then just sit back and idly wait for God’s blessings, provision and protection to roll in. That’s not how it works, and if we don’t get that, we might be in for a big disappointment, because God will NOT be obligated to move on our behalf and bring about the restoration of our marriages. That point couldn’t possibly be made any clearer than in James 2:17, which says In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead. And then Philippians 2:12-13 says Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose. Since we know that’s not a reference to salvation in terms of our relationship with the Lord and our eternal destination, it must mean salvation in terms of the Lord’s protection, provision, and blessings. And there’s no doubt that it’s saying we must obey in order to “work out” that salvation (or deliverance) according to God’s will and good purpose. And there’s further confirmation of that in Hebrews 11:6, which says And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him. and that affirms an earlier message in Hebrews 10:38, which says But my righteous one will live by faith. And if he shrinks back, I will not be pleased with him.”

One of the Bible references Joyce used in her message this morning was Proverbs 16:32 (NKJV), which says He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, And he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city. Even though I’ve read that verse many times before, it had a much greater impact when specifically considering it in the context of self-control, which is obviously what it’s about! And none of us can say we can’t help what we do (or don’t do), because as Joyce points out, self-control IS one of the fruit of the spirit described in Galatians 5:22-23, which says But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. So when Satan tries to deceive us into thinking we can’t do what the Lord asks (and ALWAYS equips) us to do, we have to remember and claim the promise in Philippians 4:13 (NKJV), which says I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. May we all exercise the self-control and discipline necessary to insure that our faith is not dead, because our words of faith are backed up by our actions and attitudes, which are in keeping with God’s word.

The following prayer was sent to me by Sharon Kornegay (WIN), which was something special the Lord put on her heart one day after she finished her prayer time. And since it is such an awesome warfare prayer for everyone standing for marriage restoration, I thought I’d share it here. Be blessed!

Father, we thank You that the Holy Spirit is operating in our lives today.
We are strong in You and in the power of Your might.
Thank You that at the name of Jesus, demons tremble and have to flee.
We take our rightful place in the kingdom today and draw a blood line.
We let the devil know that he must flee.
We refuse to be bound today by sickness or disease and declare over our bodies that they are the temple of the Holy Spirit and it dwells within each of us. We are healed.
We thank You that every principality, power, ruler of darkness, spiritual force of wickedness, sorcerer, violent attack, spirits of witchcraft, dominions, forces of darkness, operating against us is bound right now in Jesus’ name.
We are reminded of Your Word which states that who the Son has set free is truly free indeed.
We stand on what is written and declare that God is for us. He is on our side.
We loose the Power of God to reign supreme in our homes, on our jobs and in us.
We thank you that as we submit ourselves to God as unto the Lord, we walk in the same authority as Jesus.
Thank you that as we take unto ourselves the whole armour of God, we are able to withstand in the evil day and having done all we still stand. We stand with our loins girt about with truth, and we have on the breastplate of righteousness.
The truth is the written Word of God.
Our feet are shod with the preparation to face the enemy with firm-footed stability, the promptness and the readiness produced by the good news of the Gospel of peace.
We take the shield of faith, where with we are able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.
We take the helmet of salvation and the sword that the Spirit wields, which is the Word of God.
We pray at all times on every occasion, in every season in the Spirit, with all manner of prayer and entreaty.
To that end keep alert and watch with strong purpose and perseverance, interceding in behalf of the saints (God’s consecrated people). And we pray that utterance may be given that we may open our mouths boldly to make known the mystery of the gospel.
We have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness but rather reprove them.
We speak to ourselves today with psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in our hearts to the Lord.
We give thanks always to God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.
We thank You that we always triumph through Christ Jesus.
We thank You Father that our finances are blessed, our atmosphere is blessed.
Where Your Spirit is there is liberty and freedom.
We thank you that greater is He who is in us than he that is in the world.
We can do all things through Christ which strengthens us.
We put praise on today.
Thank You for sanctifying our lives and we stand in the gap and pray for our husbands, children, loved ones and friends.
We declare the glory of the Lord in whatever place we are in right now.
In the name of Jesus, we have good success daily.
It is evident wherever we may go that Your hand is upon us.
Thank You for creating in each of us gifts and abilities to prosper in every area of our lives.
We don’t just pray and say things as a cliché’ but Father we declare what is written in the Holy Bible and we are walking interpretations of the Word.
We are living testimonies so that we can let the world know that You
are God and You live in us.
You are the creator of all things and will soon wreak havoc upon the things of the devil.
Our families will serve You wholeheartedly and will no longer be vessels of dishonor.
We praise You for helping us to have an anointed prayer life.
Thank you for connecting ministries together all over the world who will stand in faith and declare that Jesus is Lord.
Thank You that it is the Acceptable Year of the Lord!
We serve the Most High God who is more than enough.
Our vats are overflowing today.
The place right where we stand is Holy Ground.
We are not playing around but we stand firmly planted on the truth of God’s Word.
The truth sets us free today.
Jesus is the watchman over our lives and has given His angels charge over us.
We bind up fear because fear has torment.
God, You haven’t given to us the spirit of fear but love, power and a sound mind.
We walk in the authority of Jesus Christ today.
In Jesus’ name, amen.

A huge challenge sometimes overlooked when encouraging someone who is standing for marriage restoration is to share words of faith and encouragement without seeming to invalidate or minimize their pain and anger, disappointment and frustration, and even the justification for these emotions. So it’s important to recognize and acknowledge that there is, and needs to be, a natural and unavoidable time of mourning when our husbands leave us, especially when they appear to be getting on with their lives with another woman. The depth of intense pain, disappointment, anger, frustration, confusion and rejection often seems unbearable and it’s something no one can come close to understanding unless they’ve been through it. And there is no set time for this grieving process, because it’s a process that varies for all of us. BUT there does come a time when we have to overcome all of those emotions. Otherwise, they will overcome us, and the devil wins! So, even though nothing I write or say, is ever meant to invalidate or minimize the pain or justification of the emotions experienced during times of marital despair, I wouldn’t be doing what the Lord calls me to do if I didn’t attempt to use the power and wisdom of His word to encourage others to go from their time of mourning to the morning of everlasting joy Jesus died to give us!

While searching for Bible references to morning, dawn and joy, I was surprised to see how many significant references there are, so the following are just a few to remind us and confirm that the Lord WILL be faithful to replace our time of mourning with joy in the morning! And IF we commit our way to Him and trust in Him, He will make our righteousness shine like the dawn and the justice of our cause like the noon day sun, just like Psalm 37:5-6 promises!

Isaiah 61:1-3, 7
The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion, to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor. Instead of their shame my people will receive a double portion, and instead of disgrace they will rejoice in their inheritance; and so they will inherit a double portion in their land, and everlasting joy will be theirs.

Psalm 30:4-5 (NKJV)
Sing praise to the LORD, you saints of His, And give thanks at the remembrance of His holy name. For His anger is but for a moment, His favor is for life; Weeping may endure for a night, But joy comes in the morning.

Psalm 65:8
Those living far away fear your wonders; where morning dawns and evening fades you call forth songs of joy.

Psalm 90:14
Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.

Proverbs 4:18
The path of the righteous is like the first gleam of dawn, shining ever brighter till the full light of day.

Isaiah 62:1
For Zion’s sake I will not keep silent, for Jerusalem’s sake I will not remain quiet, till her righteousness shines out like the dawn, her salvation like a blazing torch.

Isaiah 58:8-12
Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard. Then you will call, and the LORD will answer; you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I. “If you do away with the yoke of oppression, with the pointing finger and malicious talk, and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness, and your night will become like the noonday. The LORD will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail. Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins and will raise up the age-old foundations; you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls, Restorer of Streets with Dwellings.

Then another VERY significant verse we need to understand and take seriously, is Isaiah 8:20, because it says To the law and to the testimony! If they do not speak according to this word, they have no light of dawn. At some point in the process of getting from mourning to morning, we have to understand how critically important it is for us to guard our mouths and the words we speak, because they literally do have the power of life and death and we will eat the fruit of them for either life or death, just as Proverbs 18:21 tells us! And if we don’t learn to SPEAK according to the promises and testimony of God’s word, God will not be bound by the authority Jesus gave us to speak life into our marriages and the salvation of our husbands! So it’s up to us whether or not we choose to remain in a perpetual state of mourning or if we’re going to rely on the word of God and claim His power and promise to bring us everlasting joy in the morning! And when we get that and put it into practice we will experience the awesome promise found in Isaiah 35:10, which says and the ransomed of the LORD will return. They will enter Zion with singing; everlasting joy will crown their heads. Gladness and joy will overtake them, and sorrow and sighing will flee away.

Joyce Meyer began a series of messages on grief and loneliness on her TV broadcast programs this past Wednesday, which I’d encourage anyone struggling with getting past the time of mourning, and the pain and disappointment of what’s happened in their marriage to watch. Even though Joyce doesn’t appear to promote standing for marriage restoration as we would, her messages are still helpful, because none of us are ready to truly STAND for marriage restoration until we’re ready to stand on our own two feet again through the power of our Lord and Savior and His word, and her messages might help someone still struggling to get there. You can watch all three messages at the following links.

Grief and Loneliness - Part I

Grief and Loneliness - Part II

Grief and Loneliness - Part III

Sometimes the Lord’s faithful, never ending power of confirmation just boggles my mind! And this is certainly such a time! For the first time last night, it occurred to me that when we “talk” Christianity and don’t walk it out in the day-to-day reality of our lives, we’re literally taking the Lord’s name in vain. I gave that quite a bit of thought and consideration as I went to sleep last night, particularly how those of us who are standing for marriage restoration often tell others that we’re standing for our marriages because that’s what God told us to do. And we tend to invoke the Lord’s name and quote scripture to justify or explain just about everything we do or don’t do. So what kind of message do we send about our faith and confidence in the Lord when we freak out because something didn’t go the way we wanted or expected, or worse yet, when we give up and decide not to stand anymore? And what kind of message do we send about our faith in God to restore our marriages when we’re always miserable and there’s no evidence of peace or joy in our attitudes or in the way we live our lives? Do we act like victors or do we act a lot more like victims? Have we allowed our marital status to become our whole identity or do we understand and acknowledge that our relationship and the promise we have in Christ is the purpose of our existence? Are we leading people to the Lord or are we leading them away from Him because there’s such a disconnect between the words of faith we speak and the way we live?

I was debating whether or not to write about this today, because of concern that it could be misconstrued as being judgmental or critical of those with less faith and confidence in the Lord than I’m blessed (only by the grace of God) to have. Naturally, I’d never want to do that, but I hadn’t really made up my mind about it when I got up this morning. Then I received the following message in an email from a FAM member who said she felt led to share this with all “standers” and not just the FAM Fellowship members! And I couldn’t possibly express what I was thinking any better than sharing what the Lord put on this woman’s heart, because the ONLY way to walk out the faith we profess to have in Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior in a way that glorifies HIM is to stay in the word DAILY and to SERIOUSLY devote ourselves to prayer. Just as she said and has experienced personally, when we don’t, we open the door for Satan, and we can be CERTAIN he will NOT miss any opportunities we give him to kill, steal and destroy us, our husbands and our children! So we all need to take inventory of the words we speak and make sure they are reflected in our actions and attitudes, because ACTIONS DO SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS. And if we don’t BELIEVE the words we hear and read from the Bible, then we shouldn’t take the Lord’s name in vain by repeating them. Instead, we need to devote whatever time it takes in prayer and Bible study to make the words we speak REAL and ALIVE in our hearts. And that’s when we’ll start seeing the awesome supernatural power of the Lord moving in our lives, and the hearts of our husbands changed! Though I’m not revealing the author’s identity here, I can assure you that she REALLY knows what it means to be humble (way beyond what most of us could endure)…AND IT’S WORKING!

Dear Standers,

Fellow Standers, I pray that each of you will stand strong. Please stay in your DAILY Prayer time and continue to read the scriptures every day….EVERY DAY….It WILL make a difference. Just like me, if you backslide due to illness or situations that come up to hinder your intimate time with OUR FATHER, you will begin to notice the difference, so I pray that you will see how important it is to make GOD our NUMBER ONE priority.
Thank you for allowing me to share with you. I really believe GOD has placed each and every one of us in this ministry for a reason; to help support and encourage
each other, which includes reminding one another not to rely on earthly things, but to rely on the promises of GOD.

Along with such a powerful testimony, we can all benefit by meditating on the following verses as we contemplate the importance of making sure our words and actions ALL line up with the word of God and how absolutely imperative it is to make private prayer and Bible study a priority in our lives as we stand for marriage restoration:

Exodus 20:7 (NKJV)
“You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain, for the LORD will not hold him guiltless who takes His name in vain.

Matthew 12:36 (NKJV)
But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgment.

Psalm 63:11
But the king will rejoice in God; all who swear by God’s name will praise him, while the mouths of liars will be silenced.

Psalm 69:30
I will praise God’s name in song and glorify him with thanksgiving.

2 Corinthians 1:18-22
But as surely as God is faithful, our message to you is not “Yes” and “No.” For the Son of God, Jesus Christ, who was preached among you by me and Silas and Timothy, was not “Yes” and “No,” but in him it has always been “Yes.” For no matter how many promises God has made, they are “Yes” in Christ. And so through him the “Amen” is spoken by us to the glory of God. Now it is God who makes both us and you stand firm in Christ. He anointed us, set his seal of ownership on us, and put his Spirit in our hearts as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come.

Psalm 17:1
Hear, O LORD, my righteous plea; listen to my cry. Give ear to my prayer— it does not rise from deceitful lips.

Colossians 4:2
Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.

Matthew 4:4
Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.’ “

Romans 10:17
Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ.

Hebrews 11:1
Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.

Even though I know we can never fully understand or explain the amazing and mysterious ways of God, I’ll never cease to be in awe of how I see the Lord working in and through this ministry. And one of the most recent observations I’ve made is that the more submissive and humble we make ourselves before the Lord, the more He begins to work IN us and THROUGH us, and we start experiencing supernatural things we’ve never experienced before, which is something words just can’t express. As you will see, today’s post is RADICALLY different from anything I’ve ever done before, but it is done in response to the prompting of the Holy Spirit, and an example of how the Lord works in strange and mysterious ways sometimes AND how He can work through us in such ways when we are truly willing and yielded vessels for His purpose and glory.

One of the FAM members called me yesterday to ask if the Lord had ever given me a burden to pray for someone I don’t even know. And while the Lord often gives me a burden for something specific without knowing who it is for in particular, as He did Sunday morning, I’ve never experienced what happened with Jenn Sunday night (can’t help wondering if the two are related). But as she shared this with me, I definitely felt the Lord prompting me to ask her to write about what she had shared so we could post it on the public section of the site in case God was trying to get a message to Tessa and we were the only means He has of reaching her. So the following may be difficult for some to relate to, but Jenn and I present it in obedience to what we feel the Lord has led us to do and we pray that He is glorified as a result. Thank you so much, Jenn, for your obedience and for yielding yourself and allowing the lord to work through you. I know you will be blessed! And, Tessa, I hope and pray that you and your husband will get this message and realize how much God loves you and just how special you are for Him to speak to you through total strangers…and that the Lord will also use it to reach others for His purpose and glory. The following message and prayer is what Jenn sent me this morning:

The Lord spoke to me the other night in a dream, which is the first time this ever happened to me. He showed me a man and woman. I don’t know the man’s name but the Lord told me the woman’s name was Tessa. In this dream, Tessa is walking away from her husband, but at the same time she keeps looking back at him. The Lord spoke to me and told me to pray for Tessa. What I believe the Lord is telling me is that there is someone by the name of Tessa who is a prodigal at this time, but at the same time, she does not want to leave her family and is searching to find the answer of what to do.

If anyone reading this post is named Tessa, Your answer can be found in the Lord. If someone reading this post is Tessa’s spouse, continue to keep standing and praying for your spouse. She is not very far from you and deep in her heart wants to come home.

Dear Heavenly Father, I come to you today with praise and honor. Father, I just thank you for giving me the name Tessa to pray for. Father, I do not know who this person is, but I know this person is hurting and wants to come home, but just does not know how to. I pray for your army of angels to come down and help put this woman back on the road to righteousness; back to you, Father. Father, as I type this prayer, I am sensing an urgency for this woman. Father, I can feel her pain; I ask that by the blood of your son, Jesus, that you remove this pain in her heart and replace it with peace and love; a love for you, and a love for her husband. Remove the blinders from Tessa’s eyes so that she may see you, Father, and know that it is only through you that we have true happiness, true love, true fulfillment in life.
Father, I pray for Tessa’s spouse right now. I pray that you will continue to give this spouse wisdom. I pray for peace in this man’s life. Speak to this man right now, Father, and allow him to hear you telling him that he needs to continue to stand and not give up hope; to continue to speak the word of God into life for his marriage.
Thank you Jesus. Father, I thank you, because I know you will lead Tessa or Tessa’s husband to this ministry to speak to them. You have a plan, a plan to prosper.
And that starts with us right now witnessing and ministering to others. Thank you, Jesus. Thank you again for allowing me to pray for Tessa and her marriage. I give you all the glory and praise, Father. AMEN and AMEN

Wow! Some times the truth REALLY hurts, and I know this message from Bob Steinkamp in tomorrow’s Charlyne Cares certainly has that potential, but I thank the Lord for how he shares the truth with total frankness and honesty. And now I just pray that everyone who reads it will have the wisdom to recognize how critically important it is and then the grace to put it into practice! And I thank Bob once again for another AWESOME message!

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On Tuesdays Bob shares from the prodigal’s perspective, after being
remarried to Charlyne for 19 years.
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THE OPEN DOOR POLICY -
“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and
the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he
who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.”
Matthew 7:7
One day I did an Internet search for the term “open door policy.” In seconds, 3.4 million matches were returned to me. I spent the next half hour reading how an “open door policy” is in effect today for everything from immigration issues, to teen dating, even to parents visiting at a day care center.
The short definition of open door policy is “allowing equal opportunities and access.” Did you realize that prodigals spouses can go just about anywhere they desire, thanks to open door policies, yet for many, the home they left has a closed door policy to their returning?
Well-intended spouses are standing for marriage restoration, yet they have stipulations in place before their prodigal’s return.
Let’s assume that you heard a knock on the door right now, and found your prodigal standing there, luggage in hand. How would you respond?
The textbook answer might be, “I would welcome then in with rejoicing!” Let’s be honest with each other. Would you have an “open door policy” or a “twenty question policy” in place? Would you have to know why they came home, what they had been up to, and what happened to the other person? Would you be demanding they not come home until they are right with God? Would your beloved hear a list of ground rules before they even stepped across the threshold?
When a sinner comes to Christ, what is demanded of them to receive the free gift of eternal life? It is as simple as ABC; Acknowledge Jesus is Lord. Believe He can forgive sin. Confess their sins. In His earthly ministry, Jesus did not tell sinners, “Go clean up your act, and then you can come to me.” Praise God, He accepts us just as we are. Yes, the Lord expects change to lie ahead, but the homecoming to Him is unconditional.
If you have someone, in their attempts to be helpful, who is filling you with thoughts of what your prodigal must do before they come home, ask them to point out in scripture where Jesus put demands on people to change before coming to Him. There are none. It is often easier for a prodigal spouse to get into Heaven than back into their own home.
Prodigal spouses are testing the waters of going home all the time. You may have heard statements that began with, “If I ever came home…,” or “Some day, if by a miracle, I should come home…”
Prodigals are testing the waters by the questions they ask children.
They test the water by what they do for the stander. Are you announcing an open door policy right then, or are you giving stipulations? What are your children overhearing you tell friends?
Does your prodigal spouse know they are welcomed home right now, in any condition and under any circumstances? It matters not if your mate left yesterday, or ten years ago, the one you love needs to know they will always have a place to call home. As a returned prodigal, I can assure you there is no feeling like waking up, day after day after day, and being hit with the reality of the consequences of what we have done to a family. The antidote to that ever-consuming poison is knowing that we are welcomed back at home. It may take months, or years, of that daily shock, followed by the daily antidote of the (often unseen) unconditional love of our spouse, and the wooing of the Holy Spirit, but there will come a day when the prodigal will “come to their senses” and simply say, “What’s the use? I would be better off at home.” (Hosea 2:6-7) That is when prodigals come home.
During my Internet search, I also discovered reports of organizations promoting their open door policy, but then acting otherwise. If you have an open door policy in anticipation of a prodigal’s return, be careful that you really mean what you say. It is our desire to instruct you, in God’s ways, of not only welcoming your mate home, but keeping them there. That means standing for life, regardless of the condition of your marriage.
How have we made it almost twenty years after restoration? It is not because I am a perfect husband, (although I am now a faithful husband). It is because Charlyne has never stopped praying, never stopped standing, for our marriage. The open door policy that was in effect on Seventh Street on July 7, 1987 has never changed.
The prayers of a wife who never stopped praying have also brought me back from death’s door more than once. Today we have three young adult children who respect the prayers of their Mother, because they witnessed her stand. When there is an emergency in any of their families, they still call Mom because they know she prays, and that her prayers receive answers.
During the past sixteen years of ministry, the Lord has allowed me to get to know thousands of standers. Of them all, the woman I know best, my wife Charlyne, is still Exhibit “A” in my book. Why? Because she instituted an open door policy when she began to stand, and that has never changed. I came home to a loving, praying wife, who was filled with unconditional love, and that remains unchanged today. You need to be following Jesus, but if you want an earthly example, I commend my girl to you.
“Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice
and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me.
To him who overcomes, I will give the right to sit with me on my
throne, just as I overcame and sat down with my Father on his
throne. He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the
churches.” Revelation 3:20-22
Blessings,
Bob Steinkamp
Rejoice Marriage Ministries, Inc.®
Post Office Box 10548
Pompano Beach, FL 33061 USA
Rejoice Marriage Ministries
Rejoice Marriage Ministries Bookstore -
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Unless otherwise noted, Scripture quoted by permission and are from
the Holy Bible; New International Version® Copyright© 1973, 1978,
1984 International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan
Publishing House. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked
(AMP) are taken from the Amplified Bible, Copyright © 1954, 1958,
1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by
permission.
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Copyright© 2006 Rejoice Marriage Ministries Inc®. For reprint
permission please see this link
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